Contemplating To Not Give Cet Cuz It’s Two Whole Days For An Exam That Won’t Get Me A Good College-

alla mingalёva

(nosy people these days)

6 april 2025

doing some more physics questions today from a lecture to solidify my 11th concepts - almost done with the lecture

i also plan to do 12th biology with questions today, since i’ve done questions for most chapters already i might be able to finish it.

nothing too interesting other than this. just a slow sunday with my bottle of coffee and the never ending todo list 🌸

anyways have a nice day my loves

💌

also lately been feeling a lot of fomo cuz all my friends get to go out and have fun while i’m gonna be cooped up at my desk, with the same old lectures :( but yeah well- hopefully all this pays off.

omg how are youuu, its been so longgg :(((

ikrrr !! i’m good !! how are you ml?

cleaning up.

i don’t know why i’m back. it’s difficult to put all this behind me, it’s too soon to move on from an exam that i dedicated two years of my life to, so quickly- i feel like it isn’t fair to me. i don’t know if ill post but ill stick around, until im ready to leave? i don’t know honestly but i was cleaning up today- two years of my life has been solely this exam. i felt guilty taking breaks, going to sleep before 3 am made me feel like a failure and i compensated for that for the next day. all the breakdowns and self worth questioning- i put up with everything- just for this one dream- to be a doctor, to make my parents proud but here we are, on the floor- two days after the exam, still sobbing. how does anyone get over this? is there any point in taking a drop? they did this for two years, they’ll do it again. i feel so lost and purposeless. i’ve only ever dreamed of my life with this. my imagination never exceeded what happens after the exam. i feel directionless. i don’t know what to do with my time anymore. but i also don’t feel guilty for taking a break. maybe that’s a good thing? i don’t know.

was life ever more than the exam?

"slut era" i say to myself while massaging my head worried about how im going to succeed academically and make it out sane

i’m not going through this alone. sit w me.

“Hang painting here?” what if I hang myself

why does burn out hit right before my period ? everything pisses me off. my stomach hurts. cramps goes all the way to my thighs and back. i do not want to do this anymore. gonna sob again. bye.

NAHI HO RHA AUR