It's  Always  A  Question,  Always  Attempting  To  Understand  What  It's  Like.  WAR  & 

🌶️ SC // @washsins ( russell shaw )

she  didn’t  think.  she  couldn’t  think.  by  the  time  she  had  crossed  the  threshold  past  his  door,  gloria’s  hands  were  shaking.  not  from  fear,  not  from  the  cold,  but  from  something  hungrier,  meaner.  something  she  couldn’t  scrape  out  of  her  chest,  no  matter  how  hard  she  tried.  it  had  been  gnawing  at  her  for  days,  weeks  maybe.  that  hollow,  bone-deep  need  that  curled  under  her  skin  and  made  her  feel  too  tight,  too  human,  too  breakable.  heart  hammering  against  her  ribs,  adrenaline  stabbing  at  the  base  of  her  skull the  way  it  used  to  before  firefights.

only  this  was  worse;  this  was  personal.

gloria  doesn't  give  russell  a  second  to  breathe  or  contemplate  the  brokenness  she  carried  in.  she  was  already  on  him,  grabbing  the  collar  of  his  shirt  and  dragging  him  down  to  meet  her  mouth.  it  was  desperate,  waking  up  the  part  of  her  soul  that  had  been  warped  into  something  caustic  and  fractured.  her  teeth  caught  on  his  lip,  fingers  yanking  at  the  fabric  over  his  chest  like  she  could  tear  her  need  out  by  force  if  she  just  clawed  hard  enough.  she  needed  someone  real.  someone  solid,  someone  that  could  pin  her  down  when  the  world  spun  out  and  she  couldn’t  catch  her  breath.  ❛ please.  ❜  gloria  heard  herself  say  it  like  a  disembodied  entity  haunting  the  room.  a  hoarse  whisper,  nearly  unrecognizable.  she  hated  the  sound  of  it,  the  crack  in  her  own  voice,  but  she  needed  him  more  than  she  needed  pride  right  now.  

---

please just let me help you. @pittmade

the  adrenaline  still  pulses  like  mortar  fire  in  her  ears,  the  sheets  had  tangled  tight  around  her  waist,  unravled  in  the  abruptness  when  she  lept  from  bed.  her  breath  comes  in  short,  calculated  bursts,  the  kind  meant  to  hide  the  panic,  not  soothe  it.  A  SURVIVAL  RHYTHMN,  a  trick  she  learned  in  tents  and  triage  units  under  foreign  skies.  eversteady  hands  tremble  and  fumble  with  the  script.  that  emergency  bottle  to  sit  beneath  her  tongue  and  chase  away  reflections  of  war.  she  hasn’t  cried,  she  doesn’t,  not  even  now,  but  her  body  feels  like  it  wants  to.  not  out  of  fear.  not  anymore.  but  exhaustion,  a  deep  marrow-tiredness  that  never  fades,  just  gets  buried  under  scrubs  and  charts  and  too  much  coffee.

please  just  let  me  help  you.

it’s  the  way  he  says  it,  like  a  quiet  promise  in  the  dark,  like  he’s  offering  her  a  place  to  land  instead  of  a  spotlight  to  stand  under.  guilt  tears  through  sinew  and  soul.  no  one  had  ever  seen  her  like  this;  the  burden  she'd  refused  to  unleash  upon  the  unknowing,  the  unwilling.  she  slept  so  well  beside  him,  no  issues  arising  until  the  inevitable  push  against  her  ribs  to  recall.  her  eyes  meet  his,  not  fully,  not  yet,  but  just  the  edge  of  him  in  the  ambient  light  of  her  bathroom.  honey  eyes  far  away,  attempting  to  find  her  HOME  again.  the  bottle  nearly  crushed  in  her  hand  as  she  followed  the  sound  of  his  voice.  she  caught  the  warmth  of  his  scent  and  reached  for  him.  something  in  the  most  broken  parts  of  her  being following  his  imprint  of  energy  like  a  ship  to  harbour  in  a  winter  storm.  ❛  jack.  ❜  a  voice  so  raw,  so  haunted,  crawling  back  to  life.  gloria  is  pressed  to  him,  instinct  of  spirit  sought  and  driving  action.  ❛  i'm  sorry,  i'm  sorry.  ❜  muffled  against  his  chest,  but  she  breathes,  finally.

---

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 .    (  a collection of  dialogue prompts centered around saying "please".   feel free to modify phrasing as desired.  )

please just be honest with me.

oh, please explain how this is my fault.

please don't look at me like that.

please, let's not do this here.

for once, could you please stop pretending?

please just kiss me, i can't stand it.

please don't walk away from this.

all you have to do is say please.

please, i dare you to try and stop me.

please don't tell anyone i said that.

i said please, so technically you have to say yes.

please tell me you brought snacks.

please don't take this the wrong way.

please, i've waited so long to hear you say it.

i said i'm fine, please just drop it.

please don't lie just to make me feel better.

please don't judge me for what i'm about to do.

please just let me help you.

if you love me, say it. please.

just stay here with me all day. pleaase?

please don't ruin this for me.

please just leave me out of it.

tell me you love me ... please.

can you please slow down?

please tell me there's still a chance.

can you please just get some sleep?

please, i don't want to lose you again.

i'm not asking– i'm begging you. please.

please don't make fun of me.

i want you to leave. please leave right now.

please, it's nothing.

i don't like to beg, but... please.

pleaase? i promise it'll be fun.

tell me it's a lie. please.

come on, please? just this once?

please don't jump to assumptions.

please, [ name ], just stay here.

you promised ... please.

please. i need you to trust me.

please don't go.

i know i don't deserve it, but please forgive me.

please, let me fix this.

did i hear a 'please' in there somewhere?

please. one more minute, that's all i'm asking.

oh please, as if you've never done it.

don't ask me to choose. please.

please don't tell them where i am.

saying 'please' over and over won't change my mind.

please? ... pretty please?

please don't make me beg.

please tell me i'm wrong.

can you please give me a hand with this?

---

❛ you’re a fucking nightmare. kiss me. ❜ / dex @weaponid

it  doesn’t  sound  like  desire,  it  sounds  like  a  dare.  gloria  stands  there,  breath  tight  in  her  chest,  jaw  working  like  she's  chewing  down  a  scream.  maybe,  once  upon  a  time,  she  would've  flinched.  denied  it.  tried  to  scrub  the  blood  off  her  hands  and  weigh  the  scales  of  morality,  not  anymore.  it  isn't  something  she  can  just  outrun.  it  wouldn't  matter  how  many  lives  she  saved;  she  still  took  without  mercy  when  the  orders  were  given.  never  hesitated,  never  uttered  the  realization  that  she  liked  it.  gloria  laughs,  and  it's  a  caustic  thing.  like  she's  clinging  to  the  last  fragments  of  dignity  before  she  inevitably  begs  him  to  dish  out  pain  as  personal  penance.  ❛  aw,  am  i  keeping  you  up  at  night,  dex?  ❜

it’s  been  a  long  time  since  anyone’s  looked  at  her  like  she’s  something  real.  not  a  saviour  or  a  soldier.  something  he  doesn’t  want  to  fix,  maybe  even  something  he  wants.  her  hand  finds  his  jaw,  fingers  rough  from  the  violence  of  trying  to  hold  onto  softness.  from  too  many  nights  spent  stitching  other  people’s  wounds  while  ignoring  her  own,  she  tilts  his  face  down  and  meets  his  eyes  with  something  broken  and  burning.  her  thumb  brushes  his  cheek  with  the  barest  touch  of  reverence—or—warning.  it's  a  slow  melt  into  him,  but  not  an  ounce  of  hesitation.  gifting  him  the  taste  of  something  sweet  before  her  fingers  curl  roughly  into  his  hair,  and  teeth  graze  his  bottom  lip.  a  fucking  nightmare  made  flesh  if  he  wanted  it.

---

you  take  care  of  everyone  else,  BUT  WHO  TAKES  CARE  OF  YOU  ? 

an   independent,   highly   selective   and   private   original   former  special  forces  combat  medic  turned  emergency  room  physician  (  and  mercenary  in  alt  verse  )   DOCTOR  GLORIA   DE   LIMA.   established   in   2018,   revamped  2025.   this   blog   features   trigger   themes   about   war   and   its   aftermath.  blair  ,  she/her  25+ 

---

i don't like t.swift so it makes it so much worse that she has two songs that are very gloria. i hate it here.

---

↪     ᵗʰᵉ 𝑫𝑼𝑺𝑻𝒀 𝑻𝑶𝒀𝑩𝑶𝑿 .    (  a  collection  of  various unsorted sentence starters .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .   no longer updating .  )

why are you here ?

drive .  drive fast .

i think we should make an informed decision .

are you coming or not ?

you’ve been avoiding me .

[ name ] ,  what were you thinking ?

this should be your priority .

let me hold you for a minute .

get out of my way .  i won’t tell you again .

that wasn’t supposed to happen .

can you keep a secret ?

i don’t know what i did to deserve you .

you seriously think i could’ve done something like that ?

you’re safe with me .

sorry isn’t good enough .

where is all this coming from ?

who told you about that ?

sorry i’m late ,  i got caught up .

you’re being paranoid .

why are you looking at me like that ?

you’re the single most important thing to me .

all i’m asking is that you hear me out .

whatever they told you ,  it’s a lie .

we shouldn’t stick around here .

hold my hand ,  i don’t want to lose track of you .

[ name ]  …  truth or dare ?

i love you .  nothing’s gonna change that .

can you tell me what happened ?

you can’t come around here anymore .

back off ,  okay ?

what ,  you don’t have time for me anymore ?

you’re asking for too much .

i’m trying to start a new life .

what do you mean ,  you aren’t coming back ?

sometimes i think you must hate me .

why can’t we just talk about this ?

i know i fucked up ,  you can stop rubbing it in .

you’ve got quite a reputation .

i’m not usually like this ,  i’m sorry .

please ,  just let me explain myself .

i love watching you work .

we’re on the same team .

did you ever tell anyone ?

you’ve got a lot of explaining to do .

really funny ,  you’re very mature .

you call THAT a PLAN ?

can we get out of here ?

i thought things would be different .

this is not up for debate !

do whatever you have to do .

karma’s going to get you for that .

it could’ve been a lot worse .

i asked you to leave me out of this .

maybe it’s time to take a leap of faith .

i never want to see you again .

can you see how many fingers i’m holding up ?

i’m gonna be there when you get what’s coming to you .

you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me .

i’ve been waiting all night for this .

i told you not to contact me .

sometimes i really think you have a death wish .

what do you need ?  —  what can i do ?

i would do literally anything to keep you safe .

that was supposed to be a secret .

you haven’t called me that in years .

stop telling me to calm down !

we make a pretty good team .

i have so much i want to say to you .

i’m not going to let anyone hurt you .

can we please not do this right now ? 

wait ,  wait  …  just breathe for a second .

how are you holding up ?

why don’t you stay the night ?  i’ll take the couch .

i don’t need your protection !

you’re not making this easier on yourself .

are you going to let me in ?

i’m supposed to be protecting you .

i will kill you if i have to .

do whatever you have to do .

this is going to hurt ,  i’m sorry .

what happened to you ,  where have you been ?!

there was nothing you could’ve done .

you’re all i need right now .

i don’t believe in love at first sight .

have you been following me ?

i need you to believe me .

what do you remember ?

i’m not a good person .

what the hell’s going on with you ?

you’re being followed .

just when i thought my day couldn’t be any worse .

i’ve been having weird dreams .

so you’ve been lying to me this whole time ?

are you trying to get us killed ?

this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me .

i never asked for your help .

you’re being followed ,  pretend you know me .

why has it started to feel different with you ?

don’t worry ,  i have a plan .

i heard everything .

do you need to sit down ?

i have the right to know what’s going on .

i’ve just gotta catch my breath .

stay out of my business .

what did you think was going to happen ?!

don’t cause a scene .

tell me something about you that i don’t know .

can i buy you a drink ?

what if  …  we played spin the bottle ?

this was never a problem until  [ name ]  came around .

you can’t ask me to make that choice .

are you seeing anyone right now ?

i need you to listen to me ,  we don’t have long .

you’re lying ,  that doesn’t make any sense .

you look  …  stunning .

what are you trying to prove ?

who died and made you the boss of me ?

you can’t just show up here like this .

let me make it up to you .

there’s no way i’m leaving you like this .

can we stay like this ?  just for a little longer .

i don’t need you to fight for me .

so  …  you lied to me ?

you’re the only one that can help me .

i can’t help you if you won’t let me .

i never introduced myself ,  i’m [ name ] .

i expected more from you .

you have no idea who i am ,  do you ?

are you real ?  is this real ?

can i stay with you ?  just for the night .

you’re going to get yourself killed .

why did you help me ?

tell me what i can do to help .

pick a card ,  any card .

i never wanted any of this .

i love you .   you don’t have to say it back .

do you wanna get out of here ?

what the hell are you talking about ?

i should have trusted you .

get your head out of the clouds .

how is any of this MY fault ?!

what aren’t you telling me ?

i can’t help you if you won’t let me .

it’s never just one with you ,  is it ?

you’re not supposed to know about that .

shut your mouth .

i haven’t kissed you yet ,  today .

where is this coming from ?

come over here and make me ,  then .

keep lying to yourself ,  see where it gets you .

i’m not a bad person .

is that what you wanted to hear ?

we can’t be seen together .

i can’t give you what you want .

i need you to leave .

are you drunk ?

i’m here ,  i’m here .  i’m not going anywhere .

you might want to take a seat for this .

have you been listening to anything i’ve said ?

i haven’t heard from you in weeks .

you’re jealous ,  aren’t you ?

who do you think you’re talking to ?

what are you reading ?

you could’ve killed me !

come on ,  we don’t have time for this .

i just need ten minutes of silence .

really ?  that’s all you have to say ?

we could leave ,  you know .  go far away .

you don’t look too good .

i never want to see you again .

why can’t you just leave me alone ?

i thought you died .

you’ll do anything for attention .

give me another chance .

how’s the weather up there ?

all you do is hurt people !

i’m sorry ,  none of this makes sense .

you need to get out of here before anyone sees you .

i told you i didn’t want you around here .

is that supposed to be a threat ?

you’ve changed .

don’t look at me like that .

it’s a beautiful day ,  don’t you think ?

i did what i had to do .

you never know when to stop .

i’ve got to get home ,  it’s getting late .

i have nothing to prove to you .

stop LYING to me  …  all you do is lie .

you don’t have to be nice to everybody .

don’t tell me what to do .

pull your head out of the past .

nobody can help me .  i can’t even help me .

we are not talking about that right now .

are you new around here ?

you have no idea what you’re starting .

i’m gonna get us out of here .

whatever you came here to say ,  i don’t want to hear it .

everyone’s staring at us .

is there anything i can do to help ?

i won’t cause you any more trouble .

– just follow my instructions for once !

do you want to come in ?

i just didn’t know what to do .

you need rest ,  lie down .

i’m not who you think i am .

i don’t know what you want me to say .

you’re not like anyone else i’ve ever met .

i feel like i’m going insane .

stop asking ,  you’re not going to like my answer .

i didn’t want you to see me any differently .

i wish i knew what to say to you .

don’t give me that look ,  you know what i mean .

you should be afraid .

do you still love me ?

i never thought i’d get this far .

the world doesn’t revolve around you .

i need you to give me some space .

i know what you’re doing ,  don’t play games .

you left me to die .

i’m beyond repentance .

when are you going to get it through your head ?

i missed you more than i thought i would .

i’m in love with you .

what do you need from me ?

i’ll kill them ,   just say the word .

[ name ] ,   what are you doing here ?

how can i help ?

you’re pathetic .

i need you to come pick me up .

where have you been ?  it’s eleven o’clock .

i couldn’t live with myself if i let you get hurt .

i can’t just pretend it didn’t happen .

you’re a real piece of work .

do you remember how we first met ?

when did all of this fall apart ?

that’s not what i came here for .

i would do anything for you .

i don’t need you to hold my hand through this .

are you sure this is the right thing to do ?

can’t we try to pretend things are okay ?

what is THAT supposed to mean ?

you’re always late ,  what am i supposed to think ?

there’s nothing you can do to fix this .

you’re far too kind to me .

can we go now ?  like ,  right now ?

i have to do this alone .

where’s your common sense ?

we aren’t supposed to be in here .

can you feel my heartbeat ?

i think i’ve seen you around before .

why are you acting weird ?

i have a really bad feeling .

i hate seeing you like this .

how am i supposed to react to that ?

what do you want most in the world ?

---

@weaponid

You should go.

This is a bad idea.

---

honey  gaze  scours  the  delicate  clutter  of  tools.  all  foreign  to  her  knowledge  and  oddly  comforting,  as  if  by  some  extension  of  who  he  was  could  quell  pockets  of  unrest.  the  tightness  in  her  chest  loosened,  just  a  little.  she  keeps  so  many  horrors  there,  unearthed  like  a  vandalized  mausoleum.  gloria  follows  the  sound  of  his  voice,  leans  back  into  the  warmth  of  his  presence  behind  her.  her  fingers  hover  over  the  spools  before  settling  on  one  —  a  dusky  blue,  like  the  swirling  sky  of  a  storm.

❛ this  one.  ❜  she  murmurs,  voice  low  enough  to  keep  it  steady.  gloria  focused  on  the  feel  of  it,  every  sensation  of  lips  adorning  skin  and  distracting  racing  thoughts.  ❛ don't  go  too  easy  on  me.  ❜

@medicbled

"here, let me show you something." voice and touch are gentle yet firm as he ushers them to his work desk and tugs gloria down, wooden office chair squeaking in protest under their combined weight. before them stands a rotary vise fixed around a fishing hook and a collection of colorful threads, feathers, flash, and beads kept in organized chaos. there's a storm brewing in that head of hers and this method, distraction and redirection, has always been effective in quieting his own busy mind.

"we'll do an easy one," josef begins, reassurance offered in the form of a squeeze and pecks against the slope of her shoulder between sentences. "pick a thread."

---

one thing about gloria is that, she loves very intensely. it isn’t something fleeting that can be turned on an off like a faucet. yes, she can have a one night stand but it won’t mean a single thing to her…she won’t even get off. if she has feelings for someone and she isn’t sure they’d want her because they have not shown anywhere close to signs she would recognize, she won’t do a damn thing. but back to the point, they might not be able to handle the level of love she has to give. it’s consuming, it comes from the perspective of someone that leaves claw marks in things because she can’t hold onto things. people die, people fade and time is a luxury.

---