Latest Posts by maylambb - Page 2

Words etched into your skin🩷

That one scene that I’ve been repeating to myself since I left the theater

Okay but how funny would a ITSV au where Hobie was the one pulled into Miles dimension instead of Gwen be?

He shows up at Visions Academy, steals a uniform and immediately begins arguing with teachers about the classist nature of private education and the voucher system, but he's so smart and well read that no one ever figures out he's technically not enrolled at the Academy. Meanwhile Miles immediately starts crushing on this cool punk rock rebel who defies expectations but can't work up the courage to go up and say high.

Miles tries the shoulder touch, Hobie flirts back, and Miles turns invisible on the spot.

He was a punk she did ballet: ❌

He and she are both punks and have a crush on a same art baby: ✅

routine laboratory activity!

De aged Damian that doesn’t recognize anyone but Jason.

He’s like 3-5 years old and vehemently refuses any physical contact from anybody except for Jason. Dick is absolutely distraught and Jason is trying not to audibly awe at how adorable little dami was.

For the few days that he’s lil dami, you will never see him without being attached to Jason is some sort of capacity. Breakfast? He’s sitting next to or on Jason. Nap time? You think he wouldn’t fall asleep on his elder brother’s abdomen? Damian is in the cave? He’s latched onto Jason’s leg and telling him he is prohibited from leaving him to go on patrol (Dick offers to stay back with him and Damian bites him).

Damian passing notes but he like to throw knives so some kids like "hey! pass this to the girl over there!" and he tapes the note to a pen and just fucking throws it so had it impales into the wall next to the girls head.

(the class designates him as "best note passer". he has a whole postage system at his desk with sharpened pencils.)

Scars N2

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base game

all genders

elder, adult, young adult, teen

maxis match

20 swatches

5 variants intensity

info category body scars right leg & front torso:

full

only face variants

only torso variants

only legs variants

info category body scar right arm:

only arm variants

please read and respect my tou

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Teenage Damian: Father, I have something very important to tell you. Richard has assured me it will not change your view of me, and I am holding you to that.

Bruce, thinking another kid is coming out: of course Damian. You are my kid, that will not change

Damian: *nods and takes a deep breath*

Damian: As you are aware, there has been a concerning increase of bats and they have risked disturbing the signals and various memorabilia due to them

Damian: There are more that are flying or stationing themselves around lower to the ground, and I have overheard you and Gordon wondering if they are diseased or rabid.

Bruce, officially lost: hn

Damian: The reason there's been an uptick of bats inside the main part of the cave is due to me feeding and befriending them

Bruce:

Damian: They prefer kiwi and strawberries

Batman has to constantly remind them he's not going down with the sinking ship when it's not his fault

Superman: Yeah, so we're turning ourselves into the government. Do you want to meet us there, or should we meet with you?

Batman: …

Wonder Woman: Batman, we're on a time crunch. Just give us your answer.

Batman (while driving, hesitating): First, I'm fine, thank you. How are you? Second, my son, who is in the car with me, is also fine… thankfully. Third, are you on crack?

Superman: I… We as a team voted that it's best if we turn ourselves into the government.

Batman (flatly): That's a decision you made. You guys have fun with it. Can I go now?

Wonder Woman: You’re part of the team! You have to turn yourself in!

Batman: Says who?

Wonder Woman: We decided as a team!

Batman: Yes, good for you. Why am I being dragged into this?

Wonder Woman and Superman: YOU ARE PART OF THIS TEAM!

Damian (in the background): Father, can we get McFlurrys later?

Batman (to Damian): Why do people eat those? They taste disgusting.

Damian: You have to get the one with the Oreos.

Superman: We’re still on the call!

Batman (annoyed): Right, not going in. Bye.

Wonder Woman: Don’t end the call! You have to hear us out.

Batman: I should just hang up, but I’m bored and need something entertaining to listen to. Proceed.

Flash (speaking first): Take one for the team, Bruce.

Batman: Okay, first, when I'm on a call with any of you, call me by my hero name. Commissioner Gordon can get away with that, but I’m not on that level with most of you. Second, I’m not on this team if you want me to do this ridiculousness. Third, seriously, are you on crack?

Green Arrow (in the background): Thank you for not saying heroin.

Damian (in the background): Father, why do they think you’re dumb?

Batman: Because they’re not very smart.

Green Arrow (expecting this): It’s amazing how badly this is going. I told you guys he’d say no, but nobody listens to me.

Batman: This is one of the rare times I agree with Arrow. I didn't sign up for a team where we all turn ourselves in for something I didn’t do.

Superman: It’s a team decision.

Batman: I don’t care.

Superman: But it’s for solidarity.

Batman: That I don’t care about.

Superman: Again, we’re a hero team. We’ve saved the world together; can’t you do this one little thing?

Green Lantern (Hal): And his response is…

Batman: Fighting villains, I enjoy. I wouldn’t be on a sports team, a firefighter team, or a doctor team with you if you're going to be this dense, and I sure as hell won't be on this team if you want me to do something this stupid. Is the brain cell you share gone for the day?

Superman: Okay, well… Kara is going with us.

Batman: And I've lost a little respect for her.

Supergirl: Hey! Wait, you had respect for me?

Batman: Did you contact any of my adult kids? Nightwing? Red Robin? I know Red Hood would just laugh before hanging up.

Superman: We haven't called them yet… but I bet they'd say yes!

Batman: No, they wouldn’t. I know that because they just texted my youngest son, who’s with me, and their messages say, “Not a chance in hell.” I didn’t even have to say anything. I raised them well.

Superman: Can’t you put aside your ego and just do this for us?

Batman: Who’s going to pick up my son from school? Go to my daughter's recital? Attend my other son’s group therapy session? Talk to my future fiancée about where I’ll be? Just curious, which one of you will handle that?

Batman waited for a few seconds, and none of the members responded.

Batman: Right. As stated, I'm not going, and if you call me again with this stupid request, I'm cutting the power to the building for a month. I will let that building decay to prove a point.

Damian: You tell 'em, Father!

Batman ended the video call without another word.

Wonder Woman: He’s getting calmer with his reactions.

Green Arrow: Yeah… Guys, maybe we don’t turn ourselves in this time. Maybe we… do something else? Anything else, because he has a point. I'm not sinking in the Titanic when there's a lifeboat.

Aquaman: Good Titanic metaphor.

Green Arrow: Thanks, man.

Read a fanfic where Tim Drake thinks Bruce ignored his birthday, then on some random day was like, "Happy Birthday, Tim!" And Tim was like, "It's not my birthday...?" And Bruce was like, "Uh, according to your birth certificate it is, though?"

And the birth certificate shows a date with a different month and day than Tim thought was his birthday, and he realized his parents just FORGOT when his birthday was and essentially picked either a random day or a day more convenient for their schedules or a day they could remember better-

Tim, this whole time, had a completely different birthday than what he'd been celebrating his whole life, and he is so MAD. Like no shit his life doesn't make any goddamm sense he's been a fucking Pisces this whole time

Jason and Damian meeting at the league but Batfam doesn’t know Jason’s alive is one of my favourite fanfic tropes.

Dick, in his hoe era talking about getting beat tf up by some girl’s boyfriend: I genuinely thought the dude was gonna kill me! I was framed, I swear! Istg someone must’ve planted a strawberry handkerchief on me or something.

Damian, barely listing: was that an Othello reference?

Tim: how did you know that? I didn’t even catch that.

Damian: it was ja- *long pause ensues*

Tim: is his programming malfunctioning?

Dick: Ja??

Damian, brain farting: yep. “Ja”

*frantically messaging Jason saying he almost broke his cover*

—

Damian, annotating Jason’s old copies of the classics: I forgot how much of an idiot you were back then. *takes sticky note off page* “RIP queen, this is actually so depressing.” Yeah, Ophelia just died. Way to state the obvious.

Dick: ??

Damian:

Damian: I’m a medium. He-uh, talks to me.

Dick: oh okay- wait. What?

—

Damian, sneaking back into the manor after having a visit with Jason: *tip toeing his way to the stairs*

Bruce, waiting in the living room with a lamp: Damian, Where were you?

Damian, who can’t improv for shit: uh-

Bruce: *eyebrow raise*

Damian: I was kidnapped by red hood *runs upstairs*

—

Bruce, in his feels era: I wish jaylad was around to see this.

Damian, not thinking: can we not just ask him to come over?

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce: what-

Damian: we can use a ouija board. That’s how I communicate with him.

Bruce, concerned: what???

Deadman is basically a ghost that no one can see unless he's possessing someone's body. Except Damian. Damian can see Deadman even when he's in ghostmode. Which is a delightfully wild character trait to drop in. Can he see other ghosts and supernatural shit? Does he have any other weird death traits or powers?

From Knight Terrors #3

Batfam incorrect quotes while I wait for my Sims 4 update to download :D

—

Jason: Go to hell.

Tim:

Tim: Batman, Red Hood is being homophobic.

Jason: WHAT!? YOU'RE NOT EVEN GAY!

Tim: I'm bi.

Jason: ??? Since WHEN?

Tim: I have a boyfriend.

Jason:

Jason: Batman, Spoiler turned Robin gay—

Stephanie: WHAT!? I TURNED NO ONE GAY!

Cass: ?

Stephanie: Oh my gods, I turned Tim and Cass gay... I'm gonna turn all of Batman's kids into gays.

Bruce: Please, focus on the mission.

Dick, in Blüdhaven but he likes to feel included: I mean, how do we know Batman isn't turning everyone gay?

Bruce: It is not possible to turn anyone gay.

Steph: Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Batgirl two, Batgirl three, Harvey Dent, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Ghostmaker, Superman, Batwoman—

Bruce: Batwoman was gay before she met me!

Tim: That's the only one you're defending?

Kate: He even turned himself gay.

Damian: As childish as this is, I have to point out that Superboy and I also—

Steph: HE TURNED SUPERBOY AND ROBIN GAY!

Tim: Which Superboy specifically? They're both bi.

Bruce: I DID NOT TURN ANYONE GAY!

Dick: Someday it'll just be the gays... And Bruce.

Jason: Isn't Selina pan?

Steph: The plot thickens.

Tim: Wow, this whole time I should've known I was bi just from being exposed to Bruce.

Dick: It's like radiation!

Duke: Nah, am I next? I don't wanna date dudes, I'm definitely into girls.

Tim: I thought the same thing!

Steph: Till Bruce came along...

Bruce, shouting as Jim walks onto the roof: I did not turn anyone gay!

Jim: Am I... Interrupting something..?

Bruce: . . . No.

—

<< prev

part 2 of giving bruce dad core attributes starting with forgetting which child has what dietary requirements.

bruce: here you go damian your lactose free meal

damian: father i’m vegan drake is lactose

bruce: tim is?? aw shit *hurries to find tim*

bruce placing down a piece of paper and a pen: ok everyone write their dietary needs on this please so i can give it to the caterer

dick: how can you not remember 😭

bruce: because there’s so many of you

tim: alfred remembers

bruce: alfred doesn’t count i’m pretty sure he’s not human

bruce: is duke still allergic to honey?

tim with his head in his hands: bee stings he’s allergic to bee stings

dick: damian is vegan

bruce: what? i thought steph was vegan?

dick: no steph is vegetarian damian is vegan

bruce: jesus christ

bruce: oh he can’t have that he’s allergic to peanuts

dick: what no i’m not?

bruce: yes you are

dick: i’ve never been allergic to peanuts where did you even get that-omg bruce jason was allergic to walnuts!

bruce: was???

may contain spoilers for batman ninja vs. yakuza league

pls do not proceed if you don't like spoilers

cue me pointing at the screen every 5 minutes and screeching babiaaaaannnnn

HE SET IT AS HIS LOCK SCREEN OMG

family bonding 💗 then ra's put him in a horse plinko type of cage for the sin of liking california rolls

hiya batman 666 💖

Saw a m3m3

They’re 100% talking smack about Kuniharu.

I love Amp ❤

Do you have a recs for fics based on the Apprentice arc?

Ooohohoho yesss, you've come to the right person. I have quite a lot of fics to rec (ive been obsessively consuming and hyperfixating like mad on the apprentice arc in particular):

(Also i consider haunted to be part of the overall apprentice arc so there are a few fics based on and set after that episode)

First you can look at the tag "dick grayson as slade wilson's apprentice" on ao3 and there are hundreds of fics, with every dynamic and characters you could want, these are just my favorites ive read (put very very vaguely in an order going down from my most favorites):

Never Alone

My favorite, its a masterpiece, its amazing! After haunted robin continues to have hallucinations and its a finished longfic that gives a really good look into robin's mental illness and how he is still only a human. I made a whole post about this fic and how its perfect in every way, i have not binged a longfic this long in forever but i did this one in a single reading session because i was completely and utterly gripped

More coherent and detailed but completely spoiler free rambles about what makes this fic so good here i cannot stress enough how this is a must read if you like the arc. I like, really really want you to read this one

The voice and gears of sunset

Oneshot set right after robin is rescued from slade in the apprentice arc. It hits so hard and hurts. Robin's recovery and him trying to connect again with the titans after what he had gone through, the titans being there to help every step of the way. The ending melts my heart

Emotional motion sickness

Oneshot set many years later when the batfam is fully formed and robin is nightwing. A good fic with dick and damian's brotherly relationship and discovering new ways to cope. There is an encounter with slade and that scene fills me with so much undescribable emotion

The fight and the war

Oneshot with the batfam. After an encounter with slade, dick is interogated with his family about the way he responded to slade's commands in the battle and how it could have gotten him killed. Dick is forced to admit what happened back when he was with the titans in the apprentice arc. Very good protective batsiblings in a different way to the other fics

Bedeviled

Oneshot set right after haunted. The spores have a lingering effect and robin presses an emergency distress signal to batman who is there for him

To pick at a scab

Years later with the batfam dick comes to the batcave and his younger brothers have some questions about a sound recording from his time with slade. Dick is thrown into a vivid flashback and the batfam break him out of it and help him talk through it. Oneshot

Just the same

Robin deals with stockholm syndrome and cant help but compare how similar or even better slade is than batman. The titans are there to help him figure things out. Oneshot.

Reforming Nightwing

Unfinished longfic. The titans never find iut about the nanobots and dick is forced to be slade's apprentice for 9 years. After Slade is killed and dick is able to excape, he goes to bludhaven where he picks up a new civillian name and the new identity nightwing. Meanwhile tim and steph want to figure out who this new "nightwing" and what his connection is to the villian "renegade"

Do you think batman will give me partial custody?

Oneshot. After the apprentice arc, robin returns to gotham. Unable to figure out how he feels about the situation he goes to his parents' graves where he encounters harely who helps him start a conversation with him about the abuse they both faced

The apprentice

Unfinished longfic where the titans dont discover the nanobots and robin has to continue being slade's apprentice. He spends his time figuring out how to get a message to the titans or to batman or to anyone without slade knowing

Next to my robin and some matchsticks

Oneshot set after apprentice part 2 where the titans patch up robin's wounds and talk about some scars he has, some from his time before the titans and some from slade

Damian Wayne: Future Gay Disaster for Jonathan Kent

Listen. LISTEN. Damian Wayne is so obviously going to grow up gay for Jon Kent that it’s almost embarrassing how no one in the Batfamily is ready for it.

Like, imagine teenage Damian—still all sharp edges, broody glares, and definitely still carrying a sword at inappropriate times—trying to process the fact that his best friend is also absurdly perfect, stupidly strong, and unfairly nice to him at all times.

It starts subtle. Jon smiles at him a little too brightly? Damian short-circuits. Jon picks him up once during a mission? Damian enters a silent existential crisis and has to sit in the Batcave for three hours just thinking about it.

Tim figures it out first. He watches Damian refuse to insult Jon for a full five minutes and just mutters, "Oh my god. He’s doomed."

Dick tries to give Damian the "So You Like Boys?" talk, only for Damian to pull out a 12-page essay on how love is a weakness. But the next day, Jon says one (1) vaguely affectionate thing, and suddenly Damian is on a rooftop at 3 AM whispering “Love is a weakness… love is a weakness…” like he’s trying to cast a spell and make it true.

Meanwhile, Jon? Completely oblivious. Sunshine golden retriever energy, just happy to be there. This boy could literally cradle Damian in his arms while flying him across the city, and he’d just be like, “Best friend privileges!” Meanwhile, Damian is holding on for dear life like, "This is where I die. He smells like fresh air and goodness. This is the end."

Eventually, when Damian does realize his feelings, it’s going to be a full Batfamily event. Jason is taking bets. Tim is smug. Dick is way too excited. And Bruce? He’s just staring at Clark across the table, already regretting everything.

TL;DR: Damian is going to grow up, look at Jon Kent, and have the worst gay panic of his life. And it’s going to be hilarious.

In my head, Damian is an iPad kid. He’s always playing some type of game on his phone or iPad. Anytime he’s out of the manor for something other than patrol or school he’s probably at the arcade trying to beat his high score on various games.

-

Damian, playing block blast on his phone in the Batmobile as robin in the backseat.

Batman, looking back at him through the rearview mirror: Robin… what are you doing?

Robin: Just playing a game father. Don’t worry it’s educational enough for me to play.

Batman: oh.. okay.

Nightwing: Wait.. Isn’t that block blast? The game you swore you would never play?

Robin, dropping his phone and jumping on top of Nightwing.

Nightwing, laughing and trying to fight back

Batman, sighing and continues to drive

-

Damian, in his room playing call of duty on his Xbox

Alfred: Master Damian. Would you like anything to eat or drink perhaps? You’ve been playing that blasted game all day.

Damian, not looking up: Well I assure you it’s all for a good cause.

Alfred: *sighing* very well continue on.

-

Damian, at the arcade playing Galaxian

Duke: Damian? What are you doing here?

Damian: Just trying to beat this incompetent high score of a kid named “Chris”.

Duke: You are such an iPad kid *chuckles*

Damian: What was that Thomas?

Duke: Nothing never mind. Have fun trying to beat his high score.

Damian: Oh don’t worry I will. And once I do I will be victorious.

-

Damian, playing brawl stars

Jason: Hey demon brat, what are ya doin’?

Damian: ah Todd. I was just playing a game. Your simple mind wouldn’t understand.

Jason, muttering under his breath: Whatever

-

Damian: Father I need your credit card. I need more V-bucks for this game.

Bruce: oh what game is it?

Damian: Fortnite, now please I need the battle pass so these unskillful lunatics can stop calling me a “noob”.

Bruce: uh okay? *takes out his credit card*

Damian, snatching it from B and running to his room: Thank you Father.

Bruce: mutters under his breath and walks back into the kitchen

looking respectfully

Imagine if Harley and Peter studied at the same school, but Harley is like in the 3rd grade and Peter is in the 2nd grade and during the day they fight, but Peter completely changes personality when he argues with him because Harley is one of the few people who can really irritate him, so everyone is shocked like

*Harley and Peter arguing*

Harley: I'M NOT LISTENING TO SOMEONE THAT MATCHES THE COLOR OF THEIR UNDERWEAR WITH THE COLOR OF THEIR SHIRT!

Peter: >:0

Everyone at school: How does he know that?-

Flash: Black...

Peter: BIG TALK TO THE GUY WHO SET THE KITCHEN ON FIRE DOING RAW NOODLES!

Harley: THAT WAS ONE TIME!

Peter: YOU KNOW IT WASN'T!

And everyone is shocked, MJ and Ned are like: Bros Code...

Peter is banned from playing Scrabble with Bruce because he keeps using obscure science terms and winning. Tony refuses to play Monopoly with him after Peter “bankrupted” him in under 30 minutes. However, Peter and Natasha make an unbeatable team at Pictionary.

Peter walking into the main room looking around confused

Tony: "what's up kid?"

Peter: "okay I know I'm not crazy but I put my phone down for two seconds and...its gone?? Where could it go??"

Natasha across the room: "should we tell him-?"

Bucky: "don't you dare"

Peter looks under the couch using his phone flash light: "am I insane...?"

Sam: "you'll find it eventually kid!"

Steve: "did you check the lab?"

Peter: "not yet actually.. Thanks Mr Rogers!"

Peter rushes off still holding his phone

Tony: "I think *should* force him to take an ADHD test.."

Natasha: "you think??"

Stupid headcanon based on myself

Peters phone dings and he asked Tony to read the text for him

Tony confused: "who is 'big balls man'???"

Peter casually: "oh that's Ned"

Tony: "what the- 'autistic weed dealer'?? Who tf-?"

Peter: "that's MJ"

Tony blinking confused: "istg if you named Romanoff 'mommy'-"

Peter: "no that's loki- Ms Romanoff is 'terrifier 3'"

Tony:

Peter:

Tony: "what the fuck are these names kid-?? WHO IS 'INTERGALACTIC CUMSOCK'!?"

Peter: "that's Thor"

Tony: "WHAT'S MY NAME??"

Peter: "just Mr stark with the chair emoji"

Tony:

Peter:

Tony offended: "that is so not fair-"

Dick is the type of person to yell “Bruce catch!” And let go of his grapple while swinging full speed.

When Dick eventually left behind was fired from Robin he still continued swinging at Bruce, and Bruce never failed to catch him.

And when Jason became Robin, and Dick got mostly past Bruce giving his name to the kid. Dick told Jason stories about it, never showing him except once, when he and Bruce were on slightly better terms. Dick did it more forceful than usual.

It took Jason a month or two as Robin before he was comfortable enough with Bruce to trust him to catch him.

For Tim, they didn’t show him. But he’d picked it up from seeing Dick and Jason do it. The first time he did it, it damn near gave Bruce and Dick a heart attack.

For the short period Steph was Robin see never got the chance. But you bet she remedied that when she became Spoiler.

Damian was more hesitant. Always worried it would be a trick. Because it was an easy way to ‘accidentally’ cause him harm. But after seeing Dick, Tim, and Steph do it and be caught every time, he eventually gave in. You’d never catch him admitting it but that first moment wrapped in his Father’s arms as Bruce caught him for the first time, and the small smile Bruce gave him when he stepped away, that is one of his favorite memories.

Cause Bruce would always be there to catch him.

He couldn’t catch Jason, never again.

Tony and his PPs (forgot to post this one too)

Another one of my crack ideas of IronDad is Tony being OBSESSED with the idea of being a father, while Peter only sees him as a mentor

So things like this happen:

Tony: You still need a father for something, right?

Tony: Learn to ride a bike? swim? play baseball!? I don't know how to play baseball but- I can learn to teach you!

Peter: Mr. Stark, is there something you wanted to tell me?...

He acts exactly like a father should, he worries if he's eating right, he tells him to clean his room, teaches him how to behave at parties and takes him to places to go out with friends

He also has fatherly habits, making stupid jokes like "Hey Hunger, I'm a Dad!" shits

You know when you tell your dad that you liked some snack he bought for you and the next day he shows up with 30 packages of that snack?

Tony SOOOOOO do that!

One day the Avengers arrived home and the first thing they saw was Tony with 5 boxes of cherry soda talking to Peter like:

Tony: You said you liked that cherry soda?

Peter: YES, I LIKE IT, BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH MR. STARK!

Tony: I thought with your super metabolism this would be nothing?

Peter: THIS IS NOT THE POINT MR. STARK - wait, this is only sold at Starbucks freshly made, how did you buy this in cans!?

Tony: Oh yeah, uh, about that... I bought Starbucks, now it's StarkBucks 👍

Peter:... ANTHONY EDWARD STARK!!!!!!

*Just a few steps away*

Steve: It couldn't be more obvious

All other avengers: Yep

Rhode: And when I asked him to buy me ONE beer he said no...

I love this "Peter is Worthy to lift the Hammer" thing

Because, imagine the same scenario from the avengers movie where everyone tries to lift the hammer, but with Peter in the middle too, even Nat tries and can't, (Steve can't because I don't want to) Peter would probably use all his strength to lift the hammer but it would end up falling on his face because, well, he's worthy, it's light for him

And while he's unconscious on the floor everyone would be freaking out because HOLY FUCK HE'S WORTHY!?

Thor and Loki would be in a dispute to see who adopts him first to be the future heir to the throne of Asgard and Tony would be like "he's already taken"

Thor goes to try to steal Peter but Peter screams when Thor takes him too high and Tony literally jumps off the roof putting on the armor going after them in the damn sky

Peter and Thor play with the hammer and Tony is like "I'm so proud, but if that idiot god tries to steal my son one more time-"

Loki is trying to steal Peter too sometimes, Tony can't stand stopping gods from stealing Peter anymore

Peter is confused as to why 3 such important people are fighting over him

When he really discovered how important it was to be able to lift the axe he fainted, Thor, Loki and Tony went into complete despair