Maylambb - ★Ash★

reblog to pet the sad cat 　　　　　　 ＿＿ 　　　　　／＞　　フ 　　　　　|  　_　 _ l 　 　　　／` ミ＿xノ 　　 　 /　　　 　 | 　　　 /　 ヽ　　 ﾉ 　 　 │　　|　|　| 　／￣|　　 |　|　| 　| (￣ヽ＿_ヽ_)__) 　＼二つ

Insane things that Will did that make him much worse than Hannibal:

He had a gun with him when Hannibal stabbed him and he didn't even try to fight back, he let himself be held as his bowels were falling out

He foreplayed with his therapist during therapy

He had to be stopped from shooting a guy crawling out of a horse all because he had psychosexual rage towards his therapist and wanted to take it out on the guy he was supposed to catch

Flew to Europe to sneak around Hannibal's old property, called the scar on his stomach a 'smile' and forced Chiyoh to kill the guy she's been keeping a prisoner because he wanted to see what she would do, then turned his corpse into a grotesque art piece with no witnesses to that

He sailed to Europe and told the detective there that 'he doesn't know what he'll do when he sees Hannibal so he should be careful' ?? (brother you're there to catch Hannibal....)

He sat with Hannibal in the gallery saying the most romantic shit ever, failed to stab him and then he just let Hannibal dig the bullet out and drug him??? (you can't convince me he didn't have an ounce of energy to fight back or see that coming mr I tell the future with senses)

He started combing his hair back after Hannibal tried to saw open his brain... ok whore

He got jealous when Hannibal started admiring a serial killer

He never once complained about eating Hannibal's cooking & he KNEW it was people...

all i want is for a batman and superman movie to be as gay as deadpool and wolverine

I believe in Disney Princess Damian supremacy. I believe in a boy who loves nature so much it loves him back just as fiercely.

Odyspenelope on ao3 wrote a one shot and it has occupied my every waking thought since. The Al ghul are eco terrorists, the boy loves the world and I need that influence and core belief to filter into more of his actions.

Give me a Damian that when he came to Gotham, was horrified at the state of local animals and ecosystems and since his father will not allow him to punish every abuser or ceo who destroys the environment like they deserve, He will work to fix their mistakes. Fulfil both his parents' legacies at once by making this city better for all living creatures, not just people.

Give me a damian who, after causing so much pain, learnt unconditional love and forgiveness from Goliath, the bats in the cave, and Titus. Let him learn how to spread it to other animals and eventually people.

Give me a Damian who feeds every stray he comes across no matter the species to the point Alfred sows him extra pockets in his robin uniform and civilian coats for the food. Some are big enough to hold cats and injured birds safely during fights.

Damian brings home and fosters any animal he can hide from Bruce. The largest so far has been a horse he liberated from a neglectful carriage driver in Gotham Park. (Father caught Goliath within three days so it doesn't count.)

After batcow arrives, it becomes easier because when she is not in the cave, Bruce doesn't look in her Barn. The Barn becomes his base of animal and plant rescue operations. With the help of Alfred and a very amused Oracle (she found out after watching Damian on traffic cams with dozens of cats following him around like adoring fans), it grows larger and more extreme.

He creates relationships with every no kill shelter in the city and most decent veterinarians. The network becomes helpful in finding good homes for the animals he rescues and blacklisting bad owners.

Anyone found abusing an animal lives in fear of katanas. They hear soft words to puppies and cats after they have been brutally incapacitated.

He investigates companies with harmful environmental practices and passes any information he has onto Oracle to deal with. (For particularly bad offenders, he let's poison Ivy deal with them)

He carries around wild flower seed balls and puts money into local parks and nature reserves. The harbour is his next big project. ( There's so much he could do with an oyster and seaweed farm for biological filtration and detoxification of the water.)

He just never expects Gothams animals to protect him aswell.

He rescues an army of pigeons who attack a mugger after they gets a lucky shot in and get Damian in the throat. The birds descend in a fury. The mugger is so terrified he gives up before Damian can get him back for the throat punch.

The cats are next. Clawing and Biting human traffickers. Bruce assumes Silena did it, but Damian (who has twisted his ankle in the fight) knows.

It's only after a raccoon starts handing him back batarangs that he's thrown that he decides to try cultivating this behaviour on purpose.

Jon, who he goes to for animal husbandry advice and later training tips, thinks this is the funniest thing to happen ever. (Once he knows the amount of work Damian does for so many animals, he starts to fall a little in love with the boy who has birds happily making a home in his hair and only truly smiles at his strays.)

It's not long until every criminal begins to fear the sound of wings in alleys and claws on cement. You never know which stray is one of Robins.

The batfamily only realise what's going on when Damian is kidnapped and is rescued by a pack of stray dogs somehow. Each has a robin themed collar. Dick thinks it's the cutest thing in the universe, and Bruce gives him funds directly to increase the size of his operation. (After he freaks out about Damian being so much like Talia and how could he be this blind to what's going on in his house. He rescued hundreds of animals??? How??)

Robins Strays now includes exotic birds, a tiger, a couple of goats, a deer, and hundreds of rats and mice, each trained to gather information and retrieve lost and missing items during investigations.

Ivy, Harley, and Silena have dubbed him a Siren and give him any animals or environment related cases they can't personally handle. (Damian adores them, especially after meeting Harleys hyenas)

Gotham adores Robin and knows never to hurt an animal with an R on it or any animal, really. They make plushies of Goliath when he is introduced to the public after an arkham asylum breakout. (Bruce gave up on trying to get the animals to stop fighting crime. It's as useless as trying to stop his children.)

Jon eventually asks Damian out while they are bottle feeding newborn kittens in the barn under the watchful eyes of two dragons and a zoos' worth of pets.

He gets shovel talked by Silena and Ivy first. It's terrifying.

Damians Lore Drops have to be incredible. And a little horrifying.

Because Damian just does these insane, incredible things and then goes on with his life.

It's a trait he shares with most of his family, but Damian just tells them the most insane things about himself over breakfast on a Thursday in a bored tone like he didn't just admit to that time he and Jon fought a gun touting Batman Tim Drake from the Future. Or that he died at least twice in a murder tournament and told no one! They thought it was a regular fighting tournament.

Imagine he is arguing with Jason, and Jason threatens to make his life hell over the last pancake, and Damian just replies,'been there, done that, it was not very pleasant.' And it's not quippy or anything, just serious and little haunted. Jason freezes, Damian eats the pancake, AND THEN HE GOES ABOUT HIS DAY AND REFUSES TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS.

Like Damian has a lot of weird skills, especially for a kid. The entire batfam does, but like Damian canonically built a flying batmobile at ten like it was a Lego set.

Imagine Dick or Bruce saying that they wished that they had this ultra specific imaginary device, and a few days later, Damian hands it to them completely unprompted. They ask how and why, and Damian admits to having the equivalent to multiple high levels degrees in engineering and mechanics at like, age six, and he would have done more, but his mother killed the tutor.

Dick asks what else he's learnt, but the list is so weird and varied it leaves him shook. Who makes a nine year old study Business Management and Finance?? (This is also cannon)

Then there's the weird people and animals Damian seemingly collects. How does everyone react to Goliath? How do they find out about WIGGLES? Why does he have so many friends they have never heard of, and why are so many of them old enemies of Bruce's he met on the murder island? When did you get a cousin? Why did you punch Green Arrow? Huh? Fair.

Wtf Bruce, you let him keep the monkey??

Damian isn't used to communicating anything, so 90 per cent of what they know about him is what he deems revelvant at the time. Like, oh, Ras used to lock him in a box regularly so he knows how to escape this trap. Cool.

Oh, they can't understand a man they are questioning, Don't worry, Damian knows that language.

Oh no, they need voice access to get into this super secret base. Damian can mimic anyone.

Do you need help identifying this very rare mineral? Damian, I could have a PhD. in Geology by now if the tutor survived my mom, has got you.

He drives like an F1 racer and can manage lorry sized vehicles at 13. Studied magic just so he can use some spells in emergencies.

He just doesn't say anything until he needs to.

I think he is like that the rest of his life, though. Like his family starts to expect the weird shit all of them do, and at this point, very little surprises them .

Until Damian starts to date Jon and says nothing.

He just comes to the Manor one day with a baby and proceeds to introduce Bruce to his granddaughter. All happy and completely normal.

Meanwhile, Bruce is having a heart attack and asks who her mother is?

Damian explains how Talia grew her in a tube for him and Jon as a wedding gift. Bruce almost dies from choking on his own spit.

Talia grew him a baby? And since when are you married? And to Jon? Why does Talia know before him? Oh God, he and Clark are in laws.

Worst case of youngest child privilege I have ever seen

Damian: Father is going to curse you out, so I’ll ask. Can we have the scroll?

Ra’s Al Ghul: No.

Damian (raising his voice in a high-pitched, innocent tone): Please!

Ra’s (usual strict voice until he sees his grandson's face): No—why are you looking at me like that?

Damian faked a sniffle, pouring on the sad puppy dog eyes and lip quiver. The usually fearless and intimidating Ra's struggled to maintain his composure, covering his mouth to hide his amusement.

Ra’s: Stop it! Don’t pull that crap on me!

Damian (laying on the sweet kid tone): But grandfather... I love you.

Ra’s (trembling): Fine! You can have the scroll! Just quit the act!

Damian immediately returned to his usual self, sporting a smug smile.

Damian: Thank you! We’ll wait here while you retrieve it.

Ra’s groaned and walked off to fetch the magic scroll in question as Batman approached his son.

Batman: What did you say?

Damian: I used manipulation and reminded him I’m his only grandchild... along with puppy dog eyes.

Batman chuckled, shaking his head with pride at his son’s cleverness.

what if Damian wasn’t sent to Bruce by Talia and instead decided to do a bit of early child-rebellion by running away to him himself. Talia, pissed off but too busy dealing with uprisings in the league to go track him down herself, calls up the person Damian is most likely to listen to other than her; his brother, who she trusts to keep him safe.

the thing is, Jason is 1: busy with his own missions atm 2: was also once a rebellious little asshole who liked to run away from home. he was Damian’s tutor once, he knows the kid can handle himself and he also knows if he CAN’T handle something he’ll contact Jason for help. he knows this because about a week before Talia called him, Damian called him.

Jason, phone balanced between his ear and shoulder: what do you want, i’m undercover

Damian: i require money for a fake passport.

Jason:

Jason, letting go of the guy he was beating up: alright you have my attention.

Damian: i am running away from home. i wish to do something ‘for the lore’ like the stories you used to tell me as a child.

Jason:

Jason ‘i’m going to ethiopia’ Todd: there’s some stuff in the fake panel under my bed. don’t tell me where you’re going, i don’t want to be complicit when Talia calls. also don’t die, because if you do i’m gonna make you eat dirt once you get out of the pit.

Damian: understood. if i am about to die, i shall call again.

Jason: have fun kiddo.

so Jason tells Talia he’ll ‘keep an eye out for any leads’ and then goes back to his normal business. league missions, his own missions, some outlaw shit, and eventually he ends up crime lording it up in Gotham. he’s a little confused when Tim Drake is seen swinging around as Red Robin rather than just Robin, but he got over his obsession with the Robin shit a while ago, so he ignores it.

until he runs into Batman and Robin. and there isn’t a mask in the fucking world that could hide his kid brother’s face from him.

Red Hood:

Robin:

Red Hood:

Robin:

Batman: why are you two staring at each other like that. what’s happening.

Robin:

Red Hood: *deep sigh*

Robin: are you going to tell mother-

Red Hood: -when you said ‘like the stories i used to tell you’.

Robin: *looks at the floor*

Red Hood: i did NOT think you meant running to a different country to find your birth parent. you fucking COPIER.

Robin:

Robin: …but you made being Robin sound so cool…

Batman: what the fuck are you two talking about?

Red Hood, pointing: you stay out of this, this is family business.

Batman: ????

I like in Teen Titans that Robin’s mask is just as expressive as like cartoon spidey masks. Especially when they do this thing:

OR WHEN HE DOES THIS:

he’s so silly I love him lmao

Vicki Vale: Mr. Wayne are you Batman?

Bruce Wayne: What is a “Bat man?”

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Drake are you Red Robin?

Tim Drake: Like the restaurant?

—

Vicki Vale: So Cassandra, are you Orphan?

Cassandra Cain: No I’m not an orphan. I have a dad.

—

Vicki Vale: Mr. Thomas are you Signal?

Duke Thomas: Am I what?

Vicki Vale: Are you the Bat Signal?

Duke Thomas: That is the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.

—

Vicki Vale: Damian, are you Robin?

Damian Wayne: Tt, I am not a bird. Are you well, Ms. Vale? I’m concerned for your mental state.