Latest Posts by matt-w-blogging - Page 7

Reasons I'd Make A Great Drag Queen, Hypothetically:

- Already very used to wearing "women's" clothes

- Already experienced with makeup

- No need for fake breasts

- I hardly have any eyebrows to cover

- "Women's" clothes/dresses fit my body shape very well

- I'm already familiar with "women's" clothes sizings

- Short hair so I can easily wear a wig

- Pierced ears so I could wear earrings

- Very experienced in heels

- Naturally long and thick eyelashes

- Queer

Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.

I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻

Embarrassing Music #1

Roman, jamming out in his room:

HEY YEAH DONCHA KNOW

SOMEDAY YOU'RE GONNA HEAR US ON THE RADIO

HEY YEAH DONCHA KNOW

IT HAPPENS SO FAST THESE DAYS I GOTTA TAKE IT SLOW

ooOOOOOooooOOO—

Virgil, videoing from doorway: *snicker*

Roman: *abruptly looks over*

Virgil: Oh, no.

Camera footage: *shaking and blurry and vaguely shows Roman chasing him*

Roman, screeching: DELETE IT! DELETE IT RIGHT NOW!

Virgil: *terrified laughter*

Incorrect Quotes: The Sides As Things My Dad Has Said

(I wrote down who actually said the quote if it wasn't him)

(Yeah, you fell off the wagon.)

Remus: "Fell off the wagon? I dragged that wagon into the woods and burned it."

Janus: "I should go get some cheese do go into all the whine in here."

(Where'd you hear that?)

Janus: "Like every movie ever."

Remus: "You just sprinkle some lime over it— lime could cover the scent of a dead body."

Logan (my brother): "And lye could dissolve it."

Virgil: "I love it up here. Like, here is like where you can sprinkle my ashes."

Roman: "(County)? I– That's where I go hunting for antelope. There's like six people and four skunks that live there."

Janus: "He was talking to the chairman of the committee of bullshit."

Patton: "A platypus looks like a beaver ran into a duck."

Roman: "Oh yeah— Do I still need to impress you?"

Virgil (my mother): "Every day until we die."

Remus: "Even a blind pig finds an acorn in its shit every once in a while."

Patton, completely unprompted: "You ever seen a pig in a french fry hat?"

Janus: "Milford, Nebraska: Where the men are men and sometimes the women are too."

Patton, severely allergic to bees (my mother): "Ah! Close it! There are bees in it!"

Remus, holding jar of honey: "It's fresh!"

Also, to be more lighthearted—

Roman/Remus: Please convince Thomas to do a Minecraft letsplay series sometime. Also please ask Patton why he asked what a ship was/to show you some of that 'neato artwork and writing.'

Janus: Only answer the ones you're comfortable with: How many arms can you have? (Like is six the max?) Are your scales only on your face? Do the gloves serve a purpose other than a fashion statement/symbolism? Where did you get your hat?

Patton: Please, please, please tell the other sides about ships (if you haven't). It would be funny!

Logan: Please teach me more about psychology. If you don't have time then please just tell me what books/texts you have so I can read them.

Virgil: (I'd swap playlists with him. His taste in music seems close to mine. I'd also ask what other Disney movies he recommends because I watched The Black Cauldron and loved it.)

Nobody Asked, But If I Could Say One Thing To Each Of The Sides, They'd Be:

Roman: We appreciate you. Not everything you make has to be the work of Adam (Driver). It's okay to mess up. You aren't just Thomas's hero; you're the hero of a lot of fans too.

Orange: TBD. (Right now, 'Come out, come out, wherever you are!')

Janus: Thank you. Also, I think your name is awesome.

Remus: You aren't evil. You're just as important as the other sides.

Patton: It's okay to say 'I don't know.' You aren't supposed to have all the answers. You aren't letting anyone down.

Logan: I listen when you're talking, and I learn from you, and I know a lot of other fans do. You can show your emotions, we know you have them. We'll always take you seriously.

Virgil: We love you. You've never been the villain— you've always been looking out for Thomas's safety.

(I know some of them aren't really 'one thing' shh)

(I know Remus is as important as everyone else because @thatsthat24 doesn't make one-dimensional sides. All the sides are like onions: they have several layers and once they're revealed you usually start crying)

Had a dream the (pink? orange? I can't remember) side was just one of the sides that was already there but like revealed themselves just then

Sorta like Janus's 'I am and always have been Patton' except actually true

Their outfit changed and stuff but they looked the same

(That's relevant because for some reason this side was played by Valerie not Thomas)

(To be clear all the other sides were played by Thomas and this side had always been played by Valerie and nobody acknowledged it)

Roman, in the tune of Uptown Funk: I'm too hot!

Logan: *gets up and turns down the heat*

Roman, internally: Yeah, okay, I guess he doesn't know that song

The next day—

Remus, in the tune of Uptown Funk: I'm too hot!

Logan, looking Roman dead in the eyes: Hot damn.

Roman: *gasp*

BETRAYAL.

[Virgil, quietly: Guess we know who Logan's favorite twin is...]

#hes washing it its fine

Oh man I can only imagine Roman wearing Janus's bowler hat in the shower, he would get so mad like:

Janus: this iS GENUINE RABBIT FUR WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T YOU HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FASHION EXPERT

Roman, crying: PLEASE STOP YELLING AT ME

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Janus Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Janus: Where'd you put my hat?

Roman, having hung a towel over the glass shower door, knowing this would happen: I don't know what you mean.

Janus: You know I can tell when you're lying, right?

Roman, smugly: Yep.

Janus: Where’d— oh, god, sorry— *sinks out*

Patton, blushing red from head to toe, whispering: Did that just happen?

Janus: Where— nope— *sinks out*

Logan: ?

Janus: Where’d Roman put my hat?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: *hiss*

Janus: *hisses back*

Janus: Did Roman tell you where he put my hat?

Remus, for once not wearing clothes like a normal person: No. I still think he took my morning star.

Janus: Hm. *starts to sink out*

Remus: Wh— wait! Is that it?

Janus: This isn’t a porn, Remus. I asked you a question, now I leave.

Remus: It could be…

Janus: No. It literally can’t.

Remus, sighing: I saw it in the freezer.

Janus: Thank you.

Remus, getting a new idea: If you get it out now, it might take a minute to defrost.

Janus: You’re stubborn, you know that?

Remus: :(

Janus: I’ll be right back

Remus: :D

Another fun fact: Roman, Remus, and Virgil's were all in the same fic

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming

...Is this showing who each other's counterpart is?

Because intrusive thoughts can be incredibly immoral, anxiety defies all logic, and creativity/expressing yourself can be stifled by your need to keep yourself safe...

Or am I overthinking everything haha

logan and virgil with the jacket…… roman and janus with the lipstick………………. if patton and remus share something im gonna lose it

I should add, these are all human AUs, so they are all human and completely mortal in these

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Edit: I remembered Logan got high and followed a hallucination off a cliff (into water luckily), so I think that's dumber XD

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming

Logan: Let me get this straight—

Patton: Good luck with that!

Logan: You made a two-layer lemon cake.

Patton: Yes.

Logan: It is not vegan or gluten-free, only dairy-free. It has eggs and wheat.

Patton: Yes.

Logan: Your mother is allergic to gluten, your brother is vegan and doesn't like lemon, your father isn't a huge fan of desserts.

Patton: Yes.

Logan: So you made an entire two-layer cake that only you can eat.

Patton: Yes.

Logan: And you made it how long ago?

Patton: Yesterday.

Logan: And you've eaten how much?

Patton: Half.

Logan: ...How.

Patton:

̴̢͈̘̫̟͍̠̙̻̹͑̿l̴̛͎̪͚̺͚̪͂̊̅̅̈̌̈́̌̕͠e̵̡̱̦͎̹͍͉̭̗͙͇͍̖̹̩̾̌̔͛̑̽̄͋̚͠ ̵̧̢̗̑̔͐̈́̓̑͊̈́̓̈́͗͌̓̇͒̑̉͘͜m̸̰̖̲̪̋̅̍̈́́̈̓̈̂͒̓̓͘͜͝ȏ̵͔̞̘̹̤͈̈́̈́̎̉́̔̉̈́̂͊̚͘͠͝͝ǹ̸̝̞͇̣̪̻́̂̂̂̏̅̌͌̽̂͒̀́͘͝ ̴̡̙͉͎͈̦͙̖͍͉͖̝̺̀́̈́̑́̄͘͠ ̴̢̧̱̝̫̝͇͍͉͈̙̱͕̣̙͖̲̹͋̿́͐͗̀̈́̅̇̓͜c̷̨̳̩̳̮͈̞̪͖͎͎͉̏͆́̃̚͠á̶̢̝̩̽͂̌͛͆̀̐̂̃̇͂̊̈́͒̇̑̕͝ ̸̢̟̮͚̫͔͈̖̟̥̗̣̰̮̓̈́̈́̏͐̅̎̿̋̚̚k̸͓̗̲͍̯͈̯͆̌̈́̿̒͛̾͊̒͗̒͋̚͝ ̵̡̡̨̧̛̮͙̯͕̤̮͇̥̽̒̐̈́͑̂͌̔̈͑̓̽̚ḝ̷̢̦̮̣̺̭̭͉̈́̄́̿̆̂͘͝ͅ ̸̫̥̗̳͎̮͕̬̼̬̥̘̑͑̑̀̈̓͛̔̈́̊́̌͘͜͠ ̷̢̡͈̝͚̖̙̩̺̼͔̭̻͚̝̹̀ ̴̨̩̣̳̜͓̠̘̗̟̦͇̪̳̗̈́̅͛̄͊͜͝͝

Logan: Just wrote 'he had sawn it coming.' To bed with me

Janus: At least that's pronounced differently.

Logan: Just wrote offly instead of awfully. Can you tell I'm exhausted?

Janus: Yes, because this is a verbal conversation so I don't have any idea what you're talking about.

Logan: ...

Logan: I'm going to bed.

Janus: Good choice.

So sometimes I write stuff I want to remember or check on later in my notes at night, but then I wake up and don't remember what they mean, anyway I have a note that just says this now:

We can't do this forever.

I know, I know.

Someone's going to get hurt.

I know, I know!

So does anyone know what that's from?

(Most of the stuff I write down is song lyrics/tiktok sounds/dan and phil quotes so it's likely one of those)

Me: Oh haha I make funny posts sometimes, people probably see them in the tags, I wonder how many people have followed me haha

Expectation: Like 3 or smth

Reality: 52

Me: *spits out water*

Me: What tHE F—

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Virgil Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Patton: I haven't, sorry kiddo, I’ll tell you if I see them

Virgil: Thanks

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Logan: No. I will inform you if I do.

Virgil: Thanks

Virgil: Have you se— Roman?

Roman, frozen:

Virgil: Um, hey? You alright?

Roman: *squeak*

Roman: *falls over*

Virgil: ...Well we don't have time to unpack all of that *sinks out*

Virgil: H—

Janus: No, whatever you're going to ask, I don't, I haven’t, whatever, the answer is no. Now will you people let me soak in peace?

Virgil: *hiss*

Janus: *hisses back*

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Remus, fully clothed, thoughtfully: I had headphones once. They were crunchy.

Virgil: …Please tell me you didn't eat my headphones.

Remus: No, I don't like the black flavor.

Virgil, used to this: Alright

Right now there's a #FandersDisabilityPositivity on Twitter, and there isn't one here, but I figured, why not, here's some things about me (aka here's what I've been professionally diagnosed with so far):

- ADHD (I think this is why I'm so bad at tone regulation online?? If I sound mean I promise I don't mean to I'm just bad at getting my tone across through text)

- OCD (So I'm very familiar with intrusive thoughts lol)

- Anxiety

- Depression

- Asthma

(Also just I joke about serious things or when I'm uncomfortable sometimes as a coping mechanism, so if I do, it's not because I don't take it seriously, it's because I take it too seriously)

Anyway! If you can't tell, my current hyperfixation is Sander Sides, and this account is so good for that because I get to share my thoughts and people actually want to hear them??? Wild

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Janus Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Janus: Where'd you put my hat?

Roman, having hung a towel over the glass shower door, knowing this would happen: I don't know what you mean.

Janus: You know I can tell when you're lying, right?

Roman, smugly: Yep.

Janus: Where’d— oh, god, sorry— *sinks out*

Patton, blushing red from head to toe, whispering: Did that just happen?

Janus: Where— nope— *sinks out*

Logan: ?

Janus: Where’d Roman put my hat?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: *hiss*

Janus: *hisses back*

Janus: Did Roman tell you where he put my hat?

Remus, for once not wearing clothes like a normal person: No. I still think he took my morning star.

Janus: Hm. *starts to sink out*

Remus: Wh— wait! Is that it?

Janus: This isn’t a porn, Remus. I asked you a question, now I leave.

Remus: It could be…

Janus: No. It literally can’t.

Remus, sighing: I saw it in the freezer.

Janus: Thank you.

Remus, getting a new idea: If you get it out now, it might take a minute to defrost.

Janus: You’re stubborn, you know that?

Remus: :(

Janus: I’ll be right back

Remus: :D

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Remus Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Patton: I’m afraid not, kiddo.

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Logan: No, get out of my bathroom

Remus: Alright

Remus: Hey Ro—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Remus: *shrieks as well*

Both: *shrieking*

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, without convenient bubbles, as snakes do, though it's nothing Remus hasn't seen before: You probably lost it in your room.

Remus: I already checked

Remus: ...Can I—

Janus: No, you can't join me, get out

Remus: :(

Janus: You did this to yourself, you’re the one who decided to put soap in here

Remus: Once!

Janus: I was coughing bubbles for a week!

Remus: How was I supposed to know you drank through your skin?!

Janus: You aren't, you’re just not supposed to mess with the water!

Remus: Have you seen my morning star?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Go fuck yourself.

Remus: Understandable, have a great day

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Logan Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Patton, face pink, because he’ll never get used to this: No…

Logan: Roman—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Roman: *still shrieking*

Logan: I’m taking that as a no.

Logan: Have you happened to see my puzzle book?

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: No. I’ll tell you if I do.

Logan, unfazed: Great, thank you.

Logan: Remus, I don't suppose you’ve seen my puzzle book?

Remus, showering fully clothed: But you do suppose, or you wouldn't have asked.

Logan: Error. Logan.exe has stopped working.

Logan: Vir— this is my puzzle book! You had it?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Oh… Sorry…

Logan: I respected your privacy for this long, please respect mine.

Virgil, internally: Dude wtf I’m literally showering??

Roman's Quest For Shaving Cream / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Roman Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Roman: Hey, do you have any shaving cream?

Remus, showering fully clothed: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Roman: Wh— You eat shaving cream?

Remus: No! Why would I eat it if I don't like the way that it tastes?

Roman: Hey Pat, do you have shaving cream?

Patton, pink because he’s never going to be used to this: No. I can't grow facial hair.

Roman: ...True. I’m not sure why I asked.

Roman: Hey De— Janus—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Roman, regretting his life: Never mind snakes don't even have hair—

Roman: Hey, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance, do you have any shaving cream?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Why on earth would I?

Roman: …

Roman: Do you have any shaving cream?

Logan: Yes. It does have a scent to it, however.

Roman: Oh, that's fine. Is it woody? Or musky?

Logan: It's honey-mango.

Roman: ...What?

Logan: They’re both very good for your skin, and happen to be fragrant.

Roman, after using Logan’s shaving cream: I FEEL BEAUTIFUL.

Fun fact! My doctor actually did this when my brother and I were kids, he made really good bird noises like I mean actually convincing ones cuz as a kid I was like 'there can't be birds in my head that's impossible but where is the sound coming from?!?'

Occasionally he'll still do it, just joking around because we're not kids anymore and we know there aren't birds in our heads

(Anyway this post was inspired by a recent trip to the doctor to get my eardrums checked—)

Remus and Logan: *playing Hell Chess*

Patton and Janus: *teleport in*

Janus: LOGAN! Tell Patton he does not have birds in his head!

Patton: Logan!! Tell Janus he doesn't know everything!

Logan, raising an eyebrow: What?

Patton: So, whenever my doctor examines my ears, these little birds tweet! He says I have a little family of birds living in my head!

Janus: Correction, to make Patton sit still during checkups, his doctor makes bird noises and pretends to check on birds in his head instead of his ears.

Patton: Hey, I'm perfectly still! I don't want him to poke a bird!

Janus: *gestures wildly at him*

Logan, completely serious: Oh, no, I'm afraid you're wrong here, Janus. I've seen Patton's medical records, he has a small family of birds living in his head and has for years. It's a harmless condition.

Janus: *stares at him in WTF manner*

Patton: Ha! I told you! Devon and his family ARE in my head!

Remus: What's in my head?

Logan, no hesitation: A single rat on a wheel. His name is Maurice.

Remus: Is he a space cowboy?

Logan: And a gangster of love.

Remus, grinning: Cool.

Patton: Ooh! What's in Roman's head?

Logan, also no hesitation: A frog named Roberto.

Patton: Awesome! I'm going to tell him.

Patton: *sinks out*

Janus: WHY.

Logan, smiling mischievously: You've got a transgendeer in yours.

Janus: MOTHERF—

Roman, bursting into Logan's room in the middle of the night, sword raised: WHO IS ROBERTO AND WHERE DID HE COME FROM AND WHAT DOES HE WANT WITH PADRE?!

Logan, sleepily: He's the frog that lives in your head. G'night.

Roman, lowering sword: Oh, okay.

Roman:

Roman: waIT HE'S THE WHAT—

Remus and Logan: *playing Hell Chess*

Patton and Janus: *teleport in*

Janus: LOGAN! Tell Patton he does not have birds in his head!

Patton: Logan!! Tell Janus he doesn't know everything!

Logan, raising an eyebrow: What?

Patton: So, whenever my doctor examines my ears, these little birds tweet! He says I have a little family of birds living in my head!

Janus: Correction, to make Patton sit still during checkups, his doctor makes bird noises and pretends to check on birds in his head instead of his ears.

Patton: Hey, I'm perfectly still! I don't want him to poke a bird!

Janus: *gestures wildly at him*

Logan, completely serious: Oh, no, I'm afraid you're wrong here, Janus. I've seen Patton's medical records, he has a small family of birds living in his head and has for years. It's a harmless condition.

Janus: *stares at him in WTF manner*

Patton: Ha! I told you! Devon and his family ARE in my head!

Remus: What's in my head?

Logan, no hesitation: A single rat on a wheel. His name is Maurice.

Remus: Is he a space cowboy?

Logan: And a gangster of love.

Remus, grinning: Cool.

Patton: Ooh! What's in Roman's head?

Logan, also no hesitation: A frog named Roberto.

Patton: Awesome! I'm going to tell him.

Patton: *sinks out*

Janus: WHY.

Logan, smiling mischievously: You've got a transgendeer in yours.

Janus: MOTHERF—

Remus and Logan: *playing Hell Chess*

Patton and Janus: *teleport in*

Janus: LOGAN! Tell Patton he does not have birds in his head!

Patton: Logan!! Tell Janus he doesn't know everything!

Logan, raising an eyebrow: What?

Patton: So, whenever my doctor examines my ears, these little birds tweet! He says I have a little family of birds living in my head!

Janus: Correction, to make Patton sit still during checkups, his doctor makes bird noises and pretends to check on birds in his head instead of his ears.

Patton: Hey, I'm perfectly still! I don't want him to poke a bird!

Janus: *gestures wildly at him*

Logan, completely serious: Oh, no, I'm afraid you're wrong here, Janus. I've seen Patton's medical records, he has a small family of birds living in his head and has for years. It's a harmless condition.

Janus: *stares at him in WTF manner*

Patton: Ha! I told you! Devon and his family ARE in my head!

Remus: What's in my head?

Logan, no hesitation: A single rat on a wheel. His name is Maurice.

Remus: Is he a space cowboy?

Logan: And a gangster of love.

Remus, grinning: Cool.

Patton: Ooh! What's in Roman's head?

Logan, also no hesitation: A frog named Roberto.

Patton: Awesome! I'm going to tell him.

Patton: *sinks out*

Janus: WHY.

Logan, smiling mischievously: You've got a transgendeer in yours.

Janus: MOTHERF—

Pancake Day! / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Patton Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Patton: Hey Lo do you know where the pancake mix is?

Logan, used to this, casually shampooing his hair: Behind the mixing bowls in the corner cabinet

Patton: Awesome, thank you. Second question: do you want pancakes?

Logan: Yes, thank you

Patton: Hey R—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Patton: Stop screaming it's just me— do you want pancakes?

Patton: Hey J—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Patton, turning red: I— I'll ask later—

Patton: Hey Virge! Do you want pancakes?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Yes, please.

Patton: Hey, Remus, do you want pancakes for breakfast?

Remus, showering fully clothed: Oh I'm always a slut for pancakes

Patton, internally: I need Logan's cards

I'm so glad so many other people appreciate this ship too, I thought it was more controversial than it is XD

Remus: When you pet a cat real good and it leans into your touch so hard it flops over? That's the shit.

Logan: Or when a cat kneads you with its little paws? Absolute heaven.

Janus: When a cat pushes away your book and flops down where it was so you pay attention to it instead of the book.

Patton, who just appeared to tell them it's dinnertime, eyes full of tears: Yeah that's the best haha anyway dinner is ready

Logan, fluffing Patton's hair: When you play with Pat's hair and he turns pink because he's adorable.

Patton, blushing: *incoherent stammers*

Janus, sliding his arms around Patton's waist from behind: Or when you hug Pat because he's so soft and cuddly.

Patton, blushing deeper: *more incoherent stammers*

Remus: When your boyfriend's holding Pat so you can do this:

Remus: *kisses Patton on the cheek*

Patton, bright red:

̷̨̨̡̛̙̠̳͇̘͙̩͓͔̗͙͓̘̖̗̪̱̯͓̩̖̭̞̠͖̞̫̹͎̖͎̪͖̦̰͓̞̜̖̭̝̪͊͌͐͗͛̎̔͋̇̓̒̽̉̓̅̓̅́̀̍̅̐̐͑̌̇̾͐̚̚̚͜͠Ą̵̛̪͚̲̫̲̱̫̤̗̰̬̗͑̾̈́̌̐͆̋̅̀̄̂̂̇̿͂̽̀͗͌̆͗̂̓̽̔̑̔͑͠ͅḤ̶̡̡͔͍̟̠̣̱͍̱̖͎̪̝̟͇͖̙̠̬̩̳͇͙͇̦̃́̒͋͛͌̉̈́̊̌̋̀̔͆̈̇͌͒̿̔̎͜͝ͅH̵̢̧̡̧͓͎͙̣̜̺͚̩̼̼̯̟̤̝͕̩͉̯̮̼̪̳̪͇̺̰̆̽̎̀̿́̒̄̃͋̅͛̑͗̇͠͝Ḩ̵̛̘̣̖̝͆̅̆̔͌͋͐͗̆̃͊̏͛̐̄́͂̂͒͂̒̈͊̂̉͌̐̂̊̎̐͒̋́͘͘͝͝͝͝H̶̢̰̳͕̰̲̲̲̬̳̫̪͚͕͔̝̘̹̭͇͇̙̩̜̯͇̣͓̙̺̲̘͎̠͔̫͉̙̞̼̺͓̹͍̰̗͎̊̌̀͗͊ͅͅH̶̨̲͎̰̯͙̹̯̾̓͛͋̍͗̊̕H̷̡̢̢͖̻̭͍͉̠͉͉̦̗͕̩̥̭̜͇͈̳̦̫͓̞̼̹̪̦͚̃͊͊̇̀̄͗͒̓̈͐̆̏͒́̑́̅̊̓̍̑͊̈͛̍̈́̍͗̆̈̅͐̋̉̽̃̽̍̾̾̈́̇̕͘͜͜͠H̶̗̫̬̘̊͌̒̉̀͌͘͝ ̶̢̨̻͕͙̼̘̱̮̖̭̥̠̤͔̲͔̼̥͖̘̙͉̠̹͙̮̙̜̻͕̞̜̫͙͕̾̓̐̏̈́̽́̈́͛̐̀̅̐͂̏͛̀́̄̀́̓̎̄̑̀̿͛̋̔͒́͜ͅͅͅ

How Remus Describes The Other Sides

From a bit in a fic I wrote; basically, Janus sent a letter to a "new dark side" (its dark!Logan) that showed up explaining—

Y'know what I'll just put in the whole excerpt

Welcome to the ‘dark side.’ There are two of us here and four on the ‘light side.’ Fair warning, most of the others don't like us. More details on that and the main things that have happened if you missed it on the back. I look forward to meeting you, it has been quiet ever since Virgil (Now Anxiety, previously Paranoia) left. There's no rush to come out, though. Take your time. — Janus, Self-Preservation (Nicknamed ‘Deceit’)

He flipped it over, seeing a thorough but quick explanation of the split, Virgil switching sides, who the others were, why the lights didn't like the darks, etc. Janus had very nice handwriting.

It was really… Sweet. Nobody had ever been so considerate towards Logan in his life.

...

Hiya! Figured Jan already did the important introduction, professional and shit, but here's whatcha gotta know about the others—

Roman: My brother, kinda! Very dramatic, title is Creativity, his color is red, he always has his sword and knows how to use it so beware! He dresses like a Disney prince. Minus the crown. He has one. He just doesn't wear it.

Janus: You probably got a good gauge of his personality from his letter, his color is yellow, his title is Self-Preservation but the others always call him Deceit (he’s never corrected them), he's got some scales so don't be freaked out when you see him for the first time (y’know those Catholics and their lying snakes)

Me!: I usually write on neon paper didn't wanna ‘til I knew if you were okay with it, I’m Creativity but the non-socially-accepted Creativity so like intrusive thoughts and such, my color is green, I have a morning star fair warning though I hardly use it on people (never used it on anyone but Roman)

Patton: He’s Morality, he’s very confused about a lot of things, loves cats but he’s allergic, color is light blue, scared of spiders (which is hilarious cuz he loves Virgil), he pretends he’s the dad of the group and calls the others kiddo but he’s just a kid that had to grow up too fast and is now way out of his depth but scared to ask for help??? he wears glasses

Virgil: He’s Anxiety, used to be Paranoia when he was a dark side but then he got a redemption arc and now they love him, his color is purple, he loves spiders, he’s got really intense eyeshadow under his eyes, he’ll probably hiss at you when he first sees you

Logan: Ah, Logan. His title is Logic, and he’s truly the only light side with any braincells. However they NEVER FUCKING LISTEN TO HIM LIKE WTF sorry Thomas is such a dumbass it pisses me off being he! should! just! listen! to! Logan! and! he! wouldn't! have! half! these! problems! but nooOOOOoooOOoooo he’s gotta be a fucking idiot all the time, anyway Logan’s color is indigo he wears glasses he wears a black button-up and a blue striped tie and he’s the only light side worth talking to tbh

He teared up, reading the section about him. Remus got it. He understood how he felt. It was a bit confusing how he described him in more detail than the others, but he quickly moved past that, realizing Remus had forgotten to sign his name and chuckling a little.

(end of excerpt)

Here ya go

Remus: When you pet a cat real good and it leans into your touch so hard it flops over? That's the shit.

Logan: Or when a cat kneads you with its little paws? Absolute heaven.

Janus: When a cat pushes away your book and flops down where it was so you pay attention to it instead of the book.

Patton, who just appeared to tell them it's dinnertime, eyes full of tears: Yeah that's the best haha anyway dinner is ready

Logan, fluffing Patton's hair: When you play with Pat's hair and he turns pink because he's adorable.

Patton, blushing: *incoherent stammers*

Janus, sliding his arms around Patton's waist from behind: Or when you hug Pat because he's so soft and cuddly.

Patton, blushing deeper: *more incoherent stammers*

Remus: When your boyfriend's holding Pat so you can do this:

Remus: *kisses Patton on the cheek*

Patton, bright red:

̷̨̨̡̛̙̠̳͇̘͙̩͓͔̗͙͓̘̖̗̪̱̯͓̩̖̭̞̠͖̞̫̹͎̖͎̪͖̦̰͓̞̜̖̭̝̪͊͌͐͗͛̎̔͋̇̓̒̽̉̓̅̓̅́̀̍̅̐̐͑̌̇̾͐̚̚̚͜͠Ą̵̛̪͚̲̫̲̱̫̤̗̰̬̗͑̾̈́̌̐͆̋̅̀̄̂̂̇̿͂̽̀͗͌̆͗̂̓̽̔̑̔͑͠ͅḤ̶̡̡͔͍̟̠̣̱͍̱̖͎̪̝̟͇͖̙̠̬̩̳͇͙͇̦̃́̒͋͛͌̉̈́̊̌̋̀̔͆̈̇͌͒̿̔̎͜͝ͅH̵̢̧̡̧͓͎͙̣̜̺͚̩̼̼̯̟̤̝͕̩͉̯̮̼̪̳̪͇̺̰̆̽̎̀̿́̒̄̃͋̅͛̑͗̇͠͝Ḩ̵̛̘̣̖̝͆̅̆̔͌͋͐͗̆̃͊̏͛̐̄́͂̂͒͂̒̈͊̂̉͌̐̂̊̎̐͒̋́͘͘͝͝͝͝H̶̢̰̳͕̰̲̲̲̬̳̫̪͚͕͔̝̘̹̭͇͇̙̩̜̯͇̣͓̙̺̲̘͎̠͔̫͉̙̞̼̺͓̹͍̰̗͎̊̌̀͗͊ͅͅH̶̨̲͎̰̯͙̹̯̾̓͛͋̍͗̊̕H̷̡̢̢͖̻̭͍͉̠͉͉̦̗͕̩̥̭̜͇͈̳̦̫͓̞̼̹̪̦͚̃͊͊̇̀̄͗͒̓̈͐̆̏͒́̑́̅̊̓̍̑͊̈͛̍̈́̍͗̆̈̅͐̋̉̽̃̽̍̾̾̈́̇̕͘͜͜͠H̶̗̫̬̘̊͌̒̉̀͌͘͝ ̶̢̨̻͕͙̼̘̱̮̖̭̥̠̤͔̲͔̼̥͖̘̙͉̠̹͙̮̙̜̻͕̞̜̫͙͕̾̓̐̏̈́̽́̈́͛̐̀̅̐͂̏͛̀́̄̀́̓̎̄̑̀̿͛̋̔͒́͜ͅͅͅ

So, the dark sides all have a Thing. Virgil's eyeshadow, Janus's scales, Remus's silver hair.

When the light sides went to Virgil's room, they all began to have eyeshadow piled on, which disappeared once they left.

What if, visiting Janus's room, they grow scales that disappear when they leave?

What if, visiting Remus's room, their hair slowly turns silver but then turns back when they leave?

Idk I just think that'd be hella cool.

(Also, in Patton's room, their emotions were more heightened, right? And in Virgil's room, their anxiety was heightened.

What if, in Roman's room, their theatricality heightens?

What if, in Logan's room, their logical thinking and think-before-you-speak concept heightens?

What if, in Janus's room, their self-preservation, their save-yourself instinct heightens?

What if, in Remus's room, their verbal filter lessens, and their intrusive thoughts heighten?

What if they all realize, this isn't fun at all, and appreciate that everyone's blessings also have downsides? They finally realize why Remus blurts things out, because it's so hard and miserable to keep them in your head. They finally realize, hang on, selfishness makes you feel guilty and like a horrible person even when it's reasonable?)

Happy ending Remus (and anyone else) gets tumblr and shares this stuff on here like I do because keeping it in their head is a big yikes but nobody around them understands what they're talking about