Objectively, The Dumbest Things The Sides Have Done In My Fics (not Taking Into Account Why They Did

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Virgil Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Patton: I haven't, sorry kiddo, I’ll tell you if I see them

Virgil: Thanks

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Logan: No. I will inform you if I do.

Virgil: Thanks

Virgil: Have you se— Roman?

Roman, frozen:

Virgil: Um, hey? You alright?

Roman: *squeak*

Roman: *falls over*

Virgil: ...Well we don't have time to unpack all of that *sinks out*

Virgil: H—

Janus: No, whatever you're going to ask, I don't, I haven’t, whatever, the answer is no. Now will you people let me soak in peace?

Virgil: *hiss*

Janus: *hisses back*

Virgil: Have you seen my headphones?

Remus, fully clothed, thoughtfully: I had headphones once. They were crunchy.

Virgil: …Please tell me you didn't eat my headphones.

Remus: No, I don't like the black flavor.

Virgil, used to this: Alright

candy. cane. not peppermint. candy cane.

When I was a kid I got the most DELIGHTFUL candy-cane scented candle, one of those giant round mfers, and I told my mom (as a child does) that we should get two in case we can't find it again, and she said 'nah, it's a candy cane scented candle, how hard could it be to find' (a reasonable thought)

Anyway to this day we have never found it again. No other candy cane candle that I've found measures up.

Vanilla and lemon also slap though

And if I could find a cinnamon/anise/clove/nutmeg candle I think I would cry from its beauty

Anyway I'll tag @valiantperfectiontragedy & anyone who wants to join in

(If anyone thinks they might know the candy cane candle, it was a big pillar candle with one wick, and it was white but it had a thick wax coating around the outside that was striped with white, red, and green (I think? maybe not green, it's been a really long time), and I have no idea what store we got it at, please let me know if you have any information leading to my finding of this candle)

whats ur favorite candle scent 🕯️

i love vanilla flavor candles

🤍🤍🤍yess

tag game? (no pressure) : @chroniic-pessimistt @xiniceratops @bored-boring-and-tired @rayslove-forlister @sleepy-vix

Unstoppable force (Patton's love and affection and want to know more about him) vs immovable object (Virgil not wanting to open up to anyone about his past with the dark sides)

QUESTION SANDER SIDES FANS:

Please help me I don't know what this joke means and I can't find an explanation anywhere:

[You call those witty?]

Patton: Well, you call those glasses?

[I mean yes, I'm not sure if you're implying some—]

Patton: Well, I don't think they'll pick up, they don't have a cell phone! ZING!

Something Occurred To Me

So we all remember these scenes:

C!Thomas: You’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right, you’re right.

Logan: Well, now you're just pandering to my fondness for being told that I'm right.

-

C!Thomas: (sighs) You're right.

Janus: Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, what was that? I couldn't hear you.

C!Thomas: (louder) You're right.

Janus: AH! YES! Ha! It feels SO GOOD! SO GOOD! Aah...

And before you say 'praise kink,' hear me out:

Janus recently revealed himself to Thomas, and nobody else seems to like him. Remus might, it's undetermined, but Remus doesn't seem like the kind to tell anyone that they're right.

Logan, as we know, enjoys being called 'cool.' I doubt being called intelligent would have any effect on him; he knows, he's Logic, he has to be intelligent. And they seem to just either know he's saying facts or ignore him.

They're probably the least likely to be told that they're right. (Besides Remus but he seems to take it out by bothering everyone)

That might have been the first time anyone ever told Janus he was right. And don't get me started on how under-appreciated Logan is.

What if they both react this way because they don't get told they're right often/at all?

Like, whenever someone says they want to listen to me rant about one of my hyper fixations (a rare occurrence) I freak out and get really giddy and happy. Maybe it's the same way for them.

And yes, Logan's response wasn't very emotionally charged, but he either suppresses his emotions or doesn't show them as openly as the others. The last time he showed an emotion, he hit Roman in the eye with a crumpled vocabulary card.

So... Yeah. Just consider that. I don't know I never know how to end my rants in real life I usually just get interrupted before I can finish

And now, a new one

Heart broke: Good Omens isn't a romance because while Crowley has been in love with Aziraphale for 6000 years, Aziraphale is either too oblivious or scared to see what's right in front of him and pushes Crowley away

Broke: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale aren't in love

Woke: Good Omens is a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale are in love

Bespoke: Whether Good Omens is a gay love story or not is debatable; it is, however, undeniably a story of the love between Crowley and Aziraphale (whatever type of love that may be)

Neil Gaiman: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because while Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, they are not human males, they are an angel and a demon

Roman, starting Daydream Mode: Thomas may I please have full creative control? Pretty-please? I'll help you come up with the best idea ever! *flutters eyelashes*

Remus, starting Nightmare Mode: BEDTIME BITCH *knocks out Roman* ITS TIME TO MENTALLY SCAR THOMAS

'Daydream Mode' is when Roman has full creative control, right? So I'm just imagining like:

Remus, ranting to Janus: —as long as their beak fits through, the entire rest of them, because that's the only solid part, can squish through—

Remus: *suddenly collapses without warning*

Janus, flipping the page of his book unconcernedly: Someone must have turned on Daydream mode.

Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.

I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻

I had a cursed thought (Remon and Romus) and had to continue (disregarding the cool, plausible names, like Vergilius and Romulus)

Janus, Janan

Remus, Remon

Virgil, Virgus, Virgan

Roman, Romus

Logan, Logus

Patton, Pattus

Thomas, Thomus, Thomon

Janus’s light side name is Janan

[Patton and Emile meet]

Patton: Oh, hi, kiddo! The fans have told me so much about you, about how we'd get along super well—

Emile, whipping out a notepad: So, tell me about your need to always have the answer and inability to say that you don't know for fear of disappointing the others. When did that start?

Patton, tears already streaming down his face: What.