This Is The First Time Anyone's Tagged Thomas On One Of My Posts (I Think) Oh My God This Was A Barely

Remus: When you pet a cat real good and it leans into your touch so hard it flops over? That's the shit.

Logan: Or when a cat kneads you with its little paws? Absolute heaven.

Janus: When a cat pushes away your book and flops down where it was so you pay attention to it instead of the book.

Patton, who just appeared to tell them it's dinnertime, eyes full of tears: Yeah that's the best haha anyway dinner is ready

Logan, fluffing Patton's hair: When you play with Pat's hair and he turns pink because he's adorable.

Patton, blushing: *incoherent stammers*

Janus, sliding his arms around Patton's waist from behind: Or when you hug Pat because he's so soft and cuddly.

Patton, blushing deeper: *more incoherent stammers*

Remus: When your boyfriend's holding Pat so you can do this:

Remus: *kisses Patton on the cheek*

Patton, bright red:

̷̨̨̡̛̙̠̳͇̘͙̩͓͔̗͙͓̘̖̗̪̱̯͓̩̖̭̞̠͖̞̫̹͎̖͎̪͖̦̰͓̞̜̖̭̝̪͊͌͐͗͛̎̔͋̇̓̒̽̉̓̅̓̅́̀̍̅̐̐͑̌̇̾͐̚̚̚͜͠Ą̵̛̪͚̲̫̲̱̫̤̗̰̬̗͑̾̈́̌̐͆̋̅̀̄̂̂̇̿͂̽̀͗͌̆͗̂̓̽̔̑̔͑͠ͅḤ̶̡̡͔͍̟̠̣̱͍̱̖͎̪̝̟͇͖̙̠̬̩̳͇͙͇̦̃́̒͋͛͌̉̈́̊̌̋̀̔͆̈̇͌͒̿̔̎͜͝ͅH̵̢̧̡̧͓͎͙̣̜̺͚̩̼̼̯̟̤̝͕̩͉̯̮̼̪̳̪͇̺̰̆̽̎̀̿́̒̄̃͋̅͛̑͗̇͠͝Ḩ̵̛̘̣̖̝͆̅̆̔͌͋͐͗̆̃͊̏͛̐̄́͂̂͒͂̒̈͊̂̉͌̐̂̊̎̐͒̋́͘͘͝͝͝͝H̶̢̰̳͕̰̲̲̲̬̳̫̪͚͕͔̝̘̹̭͇͇̙̩̜̯͇̣͓̙̺̲̘͎̠͔̫͉̙̞̼̺͓̹͍̰̗͎̊̌̀͗͊ͅͅH̶̨̲͎̰̯͙̹̯̾̓͛͋̍͗̊̕H̷̡̢̢͖̻̭͍͉̠͉͉̦̗͕̩̥̭̜͇͈̳̦̫͓̞̼̹̪̦͚̃͊͊̇̀̄͗͒̓̈͐̆̏͒́̑́̅̊̓̍̑͊̈͛̍̈́̍͗̆̈̅͐̋̉̽̃̽̍̾̾̈́̇̕͘͜͜͠H̶̗̫̬̘̊͌̒̉̀͌͘͝ ̶̢̨̻͕͙̼̘̱̮̖̭̥̠̤͔̲͔̼̥͖̘̙͉̠̹͙̮̙̜̻͕̞̜̫͙͕̾̓̐̏̈́̽́̈́͛̐̀̅̐͂̏͛̀́̄̀́̓̎̄̑̀̿͛̋̔͒́͜ͅͅͅ

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Janus Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Janus: Where'd you put my hat?

Roman, having hung a towel over the glass shower door, knowing this would happen: I don't know what you mean.

Janus: You know I can tell when you're lying, right?

Roman, smugly: Yep.

Janus: Where’d— oh, god, sorry— *sinks out*

Patton, blushing red from head to toe, whispering: Did that just happen?

Janus: Where— nope— *sinks out*

Logan: ?

Janus: Where’d Roman put my hat?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: *hiss*

Janus: *hisses back*

Janus: Did Roman tell you where he put my hat?

Remus, for once not wearing clothes like a normal person: No. I still think he took my morning star.

Janus: Hm. *starts to sink out*

Remus: Wh— wait! Is that it?

Janus: This isn’t a porn, Remus. I asked you a question, now I leave.

Remus: It could be…

Janus: No. It literally can’t.

Remus, sighing: I saw it in the freezer.

Janus: Thank you.

Remus, getting a new idea: If you get it out now, it might take a minute to defrost.

Janus: You’re stubborn, you know that?

Remus: :(

Janus: I’ll be right back

Remus: :D

"He hasn't told me his name, so I’m just calling him ‘Guy.’ He—”

A green liquid ran off of his arm, landing on the ground with a splat. He quickly kicked it behind him, where it soaked into the ground, and then announced, “I’m human! I'm bones and stuff! I have so many bones. I've got like 300 bones in me like everyone else.”

“He does that,” Quackity finished. “I don't know what he is.”

—(unpublished fic excerpt)

Logan: Just... Explain to me how you do this.

Remus: Simple. Cinnamon? Delicious flavor. Not super strong like cloves. In my life I have never made anything too cinnamon-y. A lot of recipes fear spices, so you gotta use your own judgement.

Remus: 'That's close enough?' I measure with my heart is my answer, but in reality I'm a lazy bitch and don't want to measure out all those tablespoons and teaspoons and then wash all the extra dishes.

Remus: Salt? Salt doesn't make things salty until you add too much. When you add the right amount, it just makes things taste. It enhances the natural flavor. Almost always add salt.

Remus: Almond flour? Almond flour is literally finely ground almonds. As long as you don't accidentally make almond butter, you can totally make it yourself.

Remus: Adding cinnamon and chili powder to hot chocolate is how they do it sometimes in some places in Mexico, and frankly, it's delicious. I just add it to taste.

Logan: But how do you know?

Remus: Uh... Experience? Intuition?

Logan: I CAN'T LEARN THOSE!

Logan, in front of camera: Yeah, I'm good at baking because it's a science, I follow instructions exactly and get the desired outcome.

- (Flashback) -

Remus: A fourth teaspoon of cinnamon? You're fucking with me. What do you think this is, radioactive?

Remus: 1/6 cup? Eh, this'll be close enough

Remus: This frosting doesn't have salt? Seriously, the recipe's fucking with me. You can't have frosting without salt.

Remus: I'm out of almond flour for macarons? Eh, I'll grind my own

-

Interviewer: And how do you feel about Remus's baking always turning out better than yours?

Remus: *in background, putting cinnamon and chili powder in his hot chocolate*

Logan: *eye twitches* It's fine.

My skin is so crispy I wouldn't be surprised if I just shedded it like a snake at this point

Concept: Slimecicle meets Karl and it goes like

Slime: Hello, Karl Jacobs from Every-when!

Someone else: Don't you mean 'everywhere'?

Slime: I definitely do *wink*

Karl: (having a crisis trying to remember who this guy is and if he told him)

Imagine if spells could be cast to inflict you with any symptom, not just those of physical illnesses

Like, screw 'coughing fit' or 'fainting spell,' give me

Hocus pocus, leaping locust,

I cast curse of hyperfocus!

Or

Tic tac, bric-a-brac,

I hex thee: Panic attack!

Tiktok fucking banned one of my favorite sander sides cosplayers (and accounts in general) and this WILL NOT FUCKING STAND

I stg if they don't unban them I'm deleting my account

Also, to be more lighthearted—

Roman/Remus: Please convince Thomas to do a Minecraft letsplay series sometime. Also please ask Patton why he asked what a ship was/to show you some of that 'neato artwork and writing.'

Janus: Only answer the ones you're comfortable with: How many arms can you have? (Like is six the max?) Are your scales only on your face? Do the gloves serve a purpose other than a fashion statement/symbolism? Where did you get your hat?

Patton: Please, please, please tell the other sides about ships (if you haven't). It would be funny!

Logan: Please teach me more about psychology. If you don't have time then please just tell me what books/texts you have so I can read them.

Virgil: (I'd swap playlists with him. His taste in music seems close to mine. I'd also ask what other Disney movies he recommends because I watched The Black Cauldron and loved it.)

Nobody Asked, But If I Could Say One Thing To Each Of The Sides, They'd Be:

Roman: We appreciate you. Not everything you make has to be the work of Adam (Driver). It's okay to mess up. You aren't just Thomas's hero; you're the hero of a lot of fans too.

Orange: TBD. (Right now, 'Come out, come out, wherever you are!')

Janus: Thank you. Also, I think your name is awesome.

Remus: You aren't evil. You're just as important as the other sides.

Patton: It's okay to say 'I don't know.' You aren't supposed to have all the answers. You aren't letting anyone down.

Logan: I listen when you're talking, and I learn from you, and I know a lot of other fans do. You can show your emotions, we know you have them. We'll always take you seriously.

Virgil: We love you. You've never been the villain— you've always been looking out for Thomas's safety.

(I know some of them aren't really 'one thing' shh)

(I know Remus is as important as everyone else because @thatsthat24 doesn't make one-dimensional sides. All the sides are like onions: they have several layers and once they're revealed you usually start crying)

Who else is ready for Logan to go absolutely feral? Who's ready for Logan to just say, 'I'm done being nice, screw it, I'm evil now'?

I'm ready for this scientist to go mad. He's earned it. They ignore him too much, and they're going to realize how horrible of an idea that was.