How Tf Is This My Most Popular Post, We're All Just Validation-seeking Binches Huh

v @the-floral-skeleton

Skshdjs now I'm just imagining this and all the possibilities

Light sides: *solving some problem in the middle of the night*

Janus, smacking the roof with a broom handle: SHUT! UP! WE'RE TRYING! TO SLEEP!

Alternatively—

Logan, stomping on the floor:

I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL

Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME

(Remus, tired: Isn't he keeping up the light sides too?

Janus: I believe that's intentional. )

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

I feel like a lot of people miss the point of Sherlock's charging-port-deduction when they poke fun at it.

Now, I'm not saying he's right or some genius (or that you shouldn't poke fun at the deduction), I'm just saying that the point of this specific observation was misunderstood.

Because yes, we all try to plug our phones in in the dark or without looking and miss the port a few times. But not hard enough to leave scratches in the metal. When I look at my charging port, there are no scratches there, because I use the appropriate amount of force when plugging in my phone, and I think most of you do, too.

However, when you're completely drunk, there isn't really an 'appropriate amount of force.' You will jam your charger into the metal around your phone port hard enough to leave visible scratches.

It wasn't that the phone's user missed the port; it was that they missed the port with enough excessive force to scratch the phone.

(Which, of course, doesn't even necessarily mean 'alcoholic'; it could just be someone with difficulty with fine motor skills, or who misjudges how much force they need for things, or wasn't wearing their glasses and got very frustrated trying to plug in their phone, or any variety of other scenarios)

I feel like the longer Bad's hair gets, the more "feral" he gets. Like,

Shaved hair Bad: Says "Do not laugh at me, good sir," to Dream after saying he runs faster without hair

Long hair Bad: Confidently, knowingly, and repeatedly asserts that he is on the top and Skeppy is on the bottom, holding up a shirt with decals of both of them on it (in that order), even after Skeppy points out it's the other way around on his version of the shirt

ROY-G-BIV? No, my rainbow is R?J-R-PLV

Sanders Sides Fans!

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Incorrect Quotes: The Sides As Things My Dad Has Said

(I wrote down who actually said the quote if it wasn't him)

(Yeah, you fell off the wagon.)

Remus: "Fell off the wagon? I dragged that wagon into the woods and burned it."

Janus: "I should go get some cheese do go into all the whine in here."

(Where'd you hear that?)

Janus: "Like every movie ever."

Remus: "You just sprinkle some lime over it— lime could cover the scent of a dead body."

Logan (my brother): "And lye could dissolve it."

Virgil: "I love it up here. Like, here is like where you can sprinkle my ashes."

Roman: "(County)? I– That's where I go hunting for antelope. There's like six people and four skunks that live there."

Janus: "He was talking to the chairman of the committee of bullshit."

Patton: "A platypus looks like a beaver ran into a duck."

Roman: "Oh yeah— Do I still need to impress you?"

Virgil (my mother): "Every day until we die."

Remus: "Even a blind pig finds an acorn in its shit every once in a while."

Patton, completely unprompted: "You ever seen a pig in a french fry hat?"

Janus: "Milford, Nebraska: Where the men are men and sometimes the women are too."

Patton, severely allergic to bees (my mother): "Ah! Close it! There are bees in it!"

Remus, holding jar of honey: "It's fresh!"

Don't forget [̵̱̲̟̓̈́͊̾r̶̦̪͕̝͖̟̟̓̍ȇ̵̛̖̣̞̋͘͘d̷̼̲̠̲̎͆̑̈́̍̅͋à̵͈͚̭̲́̎͝ͅc̵̦̱̅̇̐͐͐t̵̩͙͈̦͈͖̿̍́͜͝ẹ̵̤͖̓̾͑̍̆d̸͙̜̿͌̔͑͋]̵̫̻͖͕͍̭̓̿̀̀ͅ!

So you mean to tell me that a red himbo with self-esteem issues, a father with no son but has spirit, a teen stuck in his emo phase, Google with emotions on incognito, a lawyer with a Self-Care agenda, and Sin ALL make up a man with a flower obsession??

Roman's Quest For Shaving Cream / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Roman Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Roman: Hey, do you have any shaving cream?

Remus, showering fully clothed: No, I don't like the way that it tastes.

Roman: Wh— You eat shaving cream?

Remus: No! Why would I eat it if I don't like the way that it tastes?

Roman: Hey Pat, do you have shaving cream?

Patton, pink because he’s never going to be used to this: No. I can't grow facial hair.

Roman: ...True. I’m not sure why I asked.

Roman: Hey De— Janus—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Roman, regretting his life: Never mind snakes don't even have hair—

Roman: Hey, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance, do you have any shaving cream?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Why on earth would I?

Roman: …

Roman: Do you have any shaving cream?

Logan: Yes. It does have a scent to it, however.

Roman: Oh, that's fine. Is it woody? Or musky?

Logan: It's honey-mango.

Roman: ...What?

Logan: They’re both very good for your skin, and happen to be fragrant.

Roman, after using Logan’s shaving cream: I FEEL BEAUTIFUL.

Remus: I always thought young, good-looking, nice teachers were made up for fiction plots

Roman: And...?

Remus: Then I met this one teacher at my school, and I don't know, there's something about him. Handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, did a flammability lab where we got to light shit on fire—

Logan, handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, loves to light shit on fire with Remus: *speechless*

Roman, when Remus leaves: He's... He's friendzoning you so hard... He's projecting his attraction to you on someone who's like you...

Logan: I have to go. I'm going to smash something with a bat.

Had a dream the (pink? orange? I can't remember) side was just one of the sides that was already there but like revealed themselves just then

Sorta like Janus's 'I am and always have been Patton' except actually true

Their outfit changed and stuff but they looked the same

(That's relevant because for some reason this side was played by Valerie not Thomas)

(To be clear all the other sides were played by Thomas and this side had always been played by Valerie and nobody acknowledged it)