I Was Just Thinking What If Twilight Au With Bella As The Vampire Matriarch Of The Olympic Coven??

GoT characters as Twilight  characters

the similarities are astounding everyone. 

The Starks are obviously the Cullens. Bran is Alice. Jon is Edward on account of being a brooding emotional fuck. Sansa is Rosalie cause gotta slay those rapists like the queen she is. Ned is Carlisle: noble af, old & tired. Robb is Jasper, a military genius. Arya is Emmett cause both are peak jock™. Catlyn is Esme (sorry Cat…we know Esme is kinda bland, but she’s the only one that works).

Rickon is Bella. Very little personality, dies at a very inconvenient time. 

Dany is Renesmee. The Chosen One™. 

Jaime is Jacob. Hot and dumb, but will go to bat for you. Also when faced with “should I own up to my own secret” just starts getting naked. 

Cersei is Victoria. Gotta be on top and will literally slaughter you if you look at her wrong. Or kill her family. Either one. 

Which makes Joffrey…James. Heckling people for no reason and not in a nice way. 

So Robert B. is Laurent. Not the ultimate worst dude, but doesn’t do great things. Mainly because he won’t stop his horrible family members from doing horrible things *cough cough* Victoria/Cersei & James/Jeoffrey.

Lancel (pre-high sparrow) is Riley. Does anything for some dick and easily manipulated to do wrong.

Ramsay is Jane bc that bitch can really torture you. 

Myranda is Alec bc his powers aren’t as cool, but he’s gotta tag team in on that torture too.

Tyrion is Aro. Very calculated and will cut you to get his way. 

Littlefinger is Caius. Hides behind Aro like a facade but is really a lil bitch.

The entire Citadel is Marcus. Old white men. Irrelevant branch of power. The most unhelpful in basically all situations.

The Hound is Demetri. Just following orders, but really loves to catch people and watch them die.

The Mountain is Felix. Truly suicidal to challenge.

Melisandre is Heidi. Uses her body to get her and her allies what they want.  

Stannis is Sam. A true Alpha: strong leader, does what he believes is right even if it makes him unpopular. 

Shireen is Emily. Sweet summer child, but literally scarred for life.

Euron is Paul. Always mad and ready for a fight to the death in the mud. 

Brienne is Leah. Deserves everyone, gets no one due to the cruel world around her, but can beat anyones ass…especially the men that wronged her.

Poddy P is Seth bc baby cinnamon roll obviously.

Theon is Alistair. Runs away at the first sign of trouble on account of being severely traumatized and all.

Yara/Asha is Kate Denali. Electricity running through her veins like a bamf. 

The Sand Snakes are the Amazonian Vampires. Hot & cool af. 

Sam is Charlie. Learns The Truth™ (wights & white walkers & R+L). Becomes Actual Dad to everyone and Real Dad to little Sam. Always like “what in the god damn heck are we doing this is not normal”. 

No one in Twilight is good enough to be Margaery or Oberyn. 

Please add more as you see fit friends. 

Okay but modern AU where Jaskier greencard marries Geralt’s ex, Yennefer, who he kinda hates, because she’s in trouble and he can’t resist helping people and also plans to hold it over her (in a bantery kinda way) and thinks it’ll be funny to rub in Geralt’s face when he inevitably comes crawling back to Yennefer.

They pass the interview with almost zero prep because it turns out back when they were jealous rivals for Geralt’s attention they learned way too much about each other. Then they have (supposed) hate sex when they’re drunk because 1. why not? 2. they’re both curious and 3. they’re both still kinda pissed off at Geralt the booze make it seem like the perfect revenge. 

Jaskier finds inexpressible amounts of glee in referring to Yennefer as his “ball and chain” and “old lady” and other unflattering nicknames for a spouse, and Yennefer enjoys ruining his every attempt at getting laid by waiting for him to make a pass, then storming up and slapping him and bursting into tears about him “ruining their marriage” by betraying his loving wife.

Then they sleep together again because neither of them is getting laid and they’ll each begrudgingly admit the other is good in bed (Yennefer says it’s the only time his incessant strumming is enjoyable).

Then the next thing they know they’re horrified to discover they’ve been in a committed sexual relationship with all the appearance of a romantic relationship for several months. They haven’t had a genuine fight since… well, Jaskier can’t remember. And Yennefer’s been at nearly every gig he’s played since they got married, and he’s got into a routine of giving her a foot rub when she drops onto the sofa after work, and the love song he wrote about her that was intended to annoy her has started to sound distressingly genuine no matter what he does, and Yennefer was terribly rude to Valdo when they ran into him and may or may not have keyed his car, and really, they’re better at being married than either of their parents were. They’re pretty good at being married full stop to be honest, and that’s when they’re not even trying.

And okay, so maybe he kinda doesn’t hate her after all. Maybe.

Bartender: Alright, I need some ID.

Tim “baby face” Drake: No problem.

Jason “Built Like a Fridge” Todd: What the fuck, you’ve never ID’d me before?

Bartender: Because you’re like thirty!

Jason: I’m two years older than him!

Marinette Vs Santa

A quick Christmas drabble.

  How did Marinette find out she was adopted? Well… her little half-brother tried to kill her.

           Also, that’s how she found out her biological dad was Batman. Because… why not. As if her life wasn’t weird enough already.

           And to think Marinette had been secretly writing Santa every year since she was three to like nine asking for a sibling of her own. She didn’t think it would ever happen

           Then one day, on a cold December night, as Ladybug ran across rooftops to see as many of the Christmas decorations as possible. Suddenly every instinct she had told her to duck. And she did just narrowly avoided a sword to the throat.

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