"average Cat Owner Spends 3 Years In Prison" Factoid Actualy Just Statistical Error. Average Owner Spends

My brosephs

I have been going on and on about wanting a tv show/book/movie about a psychic who has to pass visions off as just being really observant or someone who’s really observant and has to pass observations off as visions for literal years

Apparently nobody thought to mention that something like that very much exists and is amazing

Psych my beloved

Okay, so I feel like there could be a situation where Percy’s mortal friends (come on, he has at least one or two) end up getting dragged into godly matters by mistake and so they learn Percy is a demigod. Naturally, this is very shocking for them. Well. One of them. The other is pretty chill about it.

At any rate, I'm just picturing them somehow on Olympus and then you get an interaction like:

Friend 1: wait so you're part GOD?!

Percy: uhhh, well-

Friend 2: that explains the weird cursing. Who says ‘Holy Hera’?

Friend 1: Like a GOD?

Percy: *awkward smile*

Friend 2: which god?

Friend 1: A GOD?! Is it a super powerful god?

Percy: oh. uh-

Friend 1: Well?!?!

Percy, looking at Poseidon but also trying to be humble af: um. He’s alright...

Poseidon:

Percy: I mean, he is- like, powerful. Obviously. Being a god and all.

Friend 2: is he more powerful than the average god?

Percy: ummmmm what even is the average god?

Friend 1: omg that makes him sound powerful. Are you a powerful god’s kid?

Percy: no! I mean- sorry! Sorry, I didn't mean that! I meant- he’s, like, uh- well. Okay. Look. He...he is a sea god. So. There's that.

Friend 1: HE IS THE SEA GOD?!?!

Percy: there are actually lots of sea gods!

Friend 2: but is he the one everyone talks about?

Percy: Triton from the little mermaid?

Friend 2: dude

Percy: I'm really trying here. Uh, a little help?

Poseidon: no

Percy:.....that’s fair.

Friend 2: just tell us if your dad is mega powerful

Percy: Fine. Yes. He is. Happy?

Friend 1: AH! Amazing! Are you powerful then?! Have you ever fought a god?

Percy: look, technically-

Friend 2: did you win?

Percy, looking at Ares: Stop. Asking. Questions.

Friend 1: omfg you kicked a god’s ass didn't you?? Who was it?

Percy: …..pls.

Annabeth: it was Ares

Friend 1:

Friend 2:

Friend 1: THE GOD OF WAR?!

I gotta be honest

I’ve been reading fics And been involved in fandoms for a good number of years now, and I was today years old when I found out that NSFW actually fucking stands for something

I though it was just like “nsfwwwww” or something like that

I’m so fucking stupid

Dude even had the audacity to say “you’re slipping” when will only cut one of the three stings holding horace’s hands together

Why have I not seen LITERALLY ANYONE talk about how in Erak’s Ransom, when Will saves the group, Horace yells “Will!!” And holds up his tied hands AND WILL SHOOTS IT AND FREES HIM??? LIKE THAT WAS SO COOL WHY DO WE NEVER TALK ABOUT THAT????? The fact that, number one, Horace knew Will was skilled enough to do it, number two, Horace TRUSTED Will not to shoot his hand, number three, Will understood what Horace wanted him to do, and finally, the fact that WILL WAS ABLE TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?? Now obviously rangers are very trained and blah blah blah but THATS STILL BADASS????

My gang, my bros, my guys

Never before in my entire life have I ever heard anyone refer to my aceness as (and I cannot stress this enough) being “horny deficient”

And yet

Here we are

An aro meme for myself

𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝑷𝒊𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒘🌒

The link 👈

Im just obsessed with this one

Open tag!

Keep reading

Jaskier meets Lambert after the mountain and they quickly become friends.

Lambert complains to Jaskier about not getting enough contracts recently, because people think of him as "foul mouthed and rude". Jaskier offers to help him with that.

Jaskier takes Lambert's clothes and swords and starts introducing himself as a Witcher. Jaskier does the talking part, getting a lot of contracts and even higher pay. Then Lambert does the monster-killing part. In the end, Jaskier comes back, dressed as a Witcher again, collecting the coin.

They go on like this for almost half a year, having fun and earning lots of coin.

Until one day, when Jaskier and Lambert arrive at a small town, looking for another contract. Jaskier goes to the town's mayor, dressed as a Witcher, and offers his services.

The town's mayor greets him with a smile. "Oh, I'm so glad you came here! We could use another Witcher on this!"

Jaskier blinks in confusion. "Another Witcher?"

He turns around and sees Geralt, sitting on a chair by the door, staring at him with his mouth open.

I FUCKING LOVE NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE

I’mma sing you a sacred psalm

On your knees, pray along…

—

We did a Hatchetfield marathon recently and my decade-long on-again off-again Starkid obsession came ROARING back!! Grace Chasity was designed to appeal to everything I love to paint, so naturally here I am ✨