Dazai: Some Of These Ppl Out Here Rlly Got Me Struggling To Be Ace.

*how Dazai overcame his fear of dogs*

ada Dazai: They say that the phobias are overcomed by taking incremental steps to confronting the phobia in question.

ada Dazai: In my case, that started with watching a tv show that was adored by all children but for me was a staff of nightmares.

*flashback*

15!Dazai: *watches Scooby Doo*

*end of flashback*

ada Dazai: The next step was to come face to face with real dogs.

*flashback*

15!Dazai outside a pet shop, looking at 5 adorable puppies: Ok that's enough. *runs away scared*

*end of flashback*

ada Dazai: AND finally, a close encounter of the third kind; physicall contact with the canine spices.

ada Dazai: *points at Chuuya*

Dazai: Kunikida and I get along perfectly. Don't we, Kunikida?

Kunikida: I have never been so stressed in my entire life.

Dazai: I hope I get run over.

Atsushi: Aww, come on, it's Christmas! Get in the spirit!

Dazai, sighs: Fine, I hope I get run over by a reindeer.

Akutagawa: Mr. Dazai, truth or dare?

Dazai: Dare.

Chuuya: Why do you always choose dare?

Atsushi: Because he’s too scared to face the truth.

Chuuya: And what’s the truth?

Atsushi: That he’s waiting for someone to dare him to make out with you.

Dazai, who had a sex dream about Chuuya: Drunk ppl do tons of things they don't normally do when their sleeping, like snore and have really weird dreams.

Dazai: Like sex dreams but it doesn't even matter cause dreams don't mean anything.

Chuuya, who also had a sex dream about Dazai: You're right. They don't mean anyhting. You can have a sex dream about someone you're repulsed by irl.

Dazai: Yes, yes exactly. Thank you, Chuuya.

Dazai: You could have a sex dream about, like, me.

Chuuya: But I didn't.

Chuuya: And if I had it would be a sex nightmare cause I hate you.

Dazai: And I hate you too, thank you.

Chuuya: Shut up!

Dazai: Or what?

Chuuya, thinking what to say that could make Dazai shut up forever:

Chuuya: Or else I'll marry you!

Dazai: *malfunctions*

Dazai: Kissing can burn 26 calories per minute, wanna work out with me?

Chuuya, offended: Are you calling me fat???

Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Dazai: And loud!

Dazai: And grumpy!

Dazai: And short!

Dazai: And oblivious to reality!

Chuuya:

Dazai: Chuuya is mad at me and I don’t even know why.

Odasaku: Were you talking before he got mad?

Dazai: Yeah.

Odasaku: That’s probably why.

Chuuya: Dazai, I said that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been 5 seconds late to our date. Please say something.

Dazai: Karma's gonna track you down, step by step from town to town...

Chuuya: I-