Dazai: Why do you seem to be so nervous around me lately?
Chuuya: I- it's just... I don't know. I guess I don't wanna say something wrong?
Dazai: Babe, I have a praise and a degradation kink. So whatever you say, it will somehow work for me.
Yosano: Hey, Dazai, who's your favorite singer or band?
Dazai: I don't really have one.
Yosano: Oh c'mon pretty boy, everyone has one.
Kunikida: It's propably arctic monkeys.
Dazai: Fine. If you really wanna know that bad...it's taylor swift.
Yosano: Who? Gotta speak up.
Dazai: Taylor Swift.
Ranpo: HAH, I KNEW IT! YOU ALL OWE ME FIVE BUCKS.
Chuuya, during a mission: How are we gonna get out of this?
Dazai: Don't worry, I have a plan!
Chuuya: *sighs* Ah, the four words society fears most.
Dazai: How old were you guys when you found out Santa wasn't real?
Atsushi, whispering to Kunikida: How old am I?
Kunikida: You’re 18, Atsushi.
Atsushi, sadly: I was 18.
Dazai: Kunikida and I get along perfectly. Don't we, Kunikida?
Kunikida: I have never been so stressed in my entire life.
*married soukoku au*
Chuuya: I dont understand. I thought we were on the same page about kids. We talked about this.
Dazai: We did?
*flashback*
Chuuya: Aw, look at these pictures of Q and Elise.
Chuuya: *shows photos of the kids in a water park*
Dazai: Mm.
Chuuya: We should do this someday. What do you think?
Dazai: Are you kidding me? Of course!
*end of flashback*
Dazai: I was talking about going to the water park! You were talking about having kids???
Chuuya: Yeah! I said, "Do you think we can afford it?" and you said, "We'll start saving right away."
Dazai: So you mean, all that water park money I've been saving, you want to spend it on kids now?
Chuuya: Hey, if I ask you a boy question, will you promise not to be weird about it?
Kouyou: Come on, when have I ever been? Go on, tell me!
Chuuya: Well, Dazai--
Kouyou: You can do better!
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Osamu, I'm in love with you.
Dazai: I'm sorry, what? Since when?
Chuuya: Idk, it just happened.
Dazai: How? You think I'm annoying.
Chuuya: You are.
Dazai:
Chuuya: It's one of your most endearing qualities.
*after that dead apple scene*
Chuuya: We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!
Dazai: Nope, don't remember. Didn't happen.
Ranpo, first time meeting Dazai about Chuuya: My special abillity says there's a man in your life you're having problems with.
Dazai, angrily: That's an easy guess.
Dazai: I'm clearly an annoying person and have problems with both genders.
Ranpo: Yes, you clearly are.
Kunikida: Why is Dazai late, again?
Atsushi, writing Dazai's report: He said he's going through an existential crisis and won't get up of his futon cause he doesn't know what's real anymore. 😅
Kunikida: 😡