Ares: Trust No One In Laser Tag. No One.

Hades: Since we’re going to Alaska for a while, i’ve left all of you a complimentary bowl of advice.

Hades, picking one piece of paper out of the bowl: For instance, “Theo, stop doing that” just applies to everything.

*before that whole kidnapping affair*

Demeter, to Hades: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Persephone, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay FOREVER?

Freddie: [is nagging about something Roger did]

Roger’s mind as he nods along: bow Chika bow wow that’s what my baby says, mow mow mow and my heart starts pumping, Chika Chika choo wow never gonna stop, gitchee gitchee goo means that I love you

Hades: *mumbling* I like you

Lucifer: What?

Hades: I SAID I LIKE SNIFFING GLUE

Poseidon : Can I get a waffle?

Zeus : *hands slammed on table* YOU HAVE TO STOP IGNORING YOUR FEELINGS HADES

Hades : I DO WHAT I WANT ZEUS

Poseidon : … can i please get a waffle?

Underworld social networks

Hades: tumblr. Never reblogs anything, but follows a lot of science blogs and entertains himself thinking how smart he is. His nickname is Hector.

Lucifer: Twitter. Strictly professional, only uses it for official communication.

Charon: goodreads. He doesn't really use it as a social network, but he needs to keep track of the books he has read.

Cerberus: no social network. (But there's a user in some porn webs called @BadassGuardian that just happens to like the same things as him).

Cain: he is that one troll in every social network ever. He also happens to follow a lot of fashion channels both in YouTube and instagram

Abel: he's that one guy who never logs off Steam.

Ambrosius: YouTube. He follows dance channels and tries to copy the choregrafies.

Akin: tumblr. He's in every Fandom. OTPs, shipping, crying when one of his OTPs becomes Canon... he is the ultimate fanboy.

Lea: instagram. Fashion, weapons and videos of herself training (and looking fabulous while doing it).

Roger: Deaky, the big question is, does Brian like you? Cause if he doesn’t like you then this is all a moo point.

John: A moo point?

Roger: You know, like a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter, it’s moo.

John: Have I been living with you too long, or did that just make sense?

I saw giant Costco dog plushies the other day and thought about Hades and Persephone 

Theo: hey nice hands

Sept: thanks?

Theo: i bet they'd look better wrapped around my

Abel: wrAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE PRAISE THE LORD AMEN

Poseidon: dude, you’re never picky with who you hook up with. Have a little dignity

Zeus: nah man, hook ups are like Pokémon, gotta catch ‘em all