Theo: Hey Nice Hands

freddie : it’s saint patrick’s day. the holiday of my people.

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brian : you’re not Irish.

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freddie : binge drinkers.

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roger, from across the room : aMEN!

Asra picking up a call: hello?

Julian calling Asra: I need help, it’s MC

Asra: what’s wrong!?

Julian: well, ever since they got their memories back, they’ve been saying strange things

Asra: what kinds of things?

Julian: well once they yelled about a potion bottle being empty, and then they threw it across the room screaming “yeet”??

Asra: … Jul-

Julian: and another time we were at the market and they screamed “fuck yo chicken strips”?? and they’ve also been doing this weird motion with their arms and calling it a dab?? do you think Lucio is trying to possess them or-

Asra: calm down Julian, I think I know what’s wrong

Julian close to crying: what is it!?

Asra: I think they have Ligma

Julian: Ligma?? I’ve never heard of that, what is it!?

Asra: lig-ma-nuts!!

MC who has been listening in behind julian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Julian: *SCREAMS*

Aphrodite: You can't buy happiness!

Hades: Clearly you don't have enough money to buy a dog.

Persephone: WOKE UP NOT GETTING CHEATED ON

Persephone: some of these girls can’t relate. yikes.

Hades: period.

Hades: ...Thanatos, did you leave the gaping chasm open again?

Thanatos: No. *He lied.*

Hades: Then why is Cerberus outside?

Thanatos: Come on Hades, he's hardly going to get hit by a car-. Wait... shit.

Persephone: Ah, Thanatos! I've been looking for you. Hades and I are expecting-

Thanatos: AAAAA BABIES?! OH MY GOD! I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TWO! I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THEM GROW! PLEASE CAN I NAME IT!!!!!???

Persephone: I was going to say a package but I’ll go tell Hades that.

Me n my friends summoning Satan to get free tuition

Apollo: [to Hades and Cerberus] Alright, Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and, Velma, you get the spooky-looking fridge.

Athena: What?! Why do I get this...dubious-looking device?

Apollo: Because only Velma would say ‘dubious device.’ Velma gets the spooky fridge.

Hades: Who does that make you, Apollo? Fred?

Apollo: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

Abel: Hey Theo, what time is it?

Theo: I don’t know, pass me the recorder

Theo: *plays the recorder loudly*

Hades: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE RECORDER AT 2AM?

Theo: It’s 2am

Persephone: Honey, why are you making chocolate pudding at 4am?

Hades: Because I’ve lost control of my life.