Emojis For Those Of Us Who Love To Smile And Grin. Spread Them Like An Invasive Species. No Need For

i hate when you google a word and some fucking company comes up instead. Do you think you are more important than the english dictionary you piece of shit corporation

all skeletons are now alive

I don’t like being referred to as a boy

Okay, I guess

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

i was preparing a wet specimen one day and my dad was like this reminds me of my work buddy who ties dollar store balloons to roadkill and watches them fly away. and i had to drop everything for a second and say no. no i dont think this is like that

me: man i wish dodos still existed so i could eat one

brain: there are many extant species of pigeons and doves still

me: hmmm is it morally right to eat a dove

brain: the morality of eating meat is not affected by the beast it originates. the idea that certain meats are “wrong” to eat is a societal expectation

me: okay what diseases do pigeons carry

brain: some but with proper preparation and with a disease-free specimen you will be okay

me: what is stopping me from eating a dove

brain: your cowardice. you fear social rejection and dread the idea of judgement. but, those who judge you are just as biased and imperfect as you are. you must accept that this is an inevitable part of life, but it should not hold you back. you are in charge of your own destiny

me: okay lala ^_^ *googles “dove resippy” for 4 hours and salivates so hard it floods my room and i drown*

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf: so dinner tonight is kind of a deconstructed pasta bake

me: by deconstructed you mean

warlock gf: i eldritch blasted it

me: you eldritch blasted it