Warlock Gf:

I love messing with these annoying accounts

10/10 dad joke

Love some miserable Elon in the morning

Common mistake of new tumblr users is that they start off by only following art accounts that only post like monthly, and then they're confused by why their dash is so dead. Girlie you need to get yourself some Post Hunter Gatherers too to get a more varied experience

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

got emotional at work because i imagined a cuttlefish

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

Absolutely shameful the way he's gone mask off like this.

Tumblr is pretty cool but I think to improve what I'm shown and have the feed be a little more personalized they should have a kill button that kills the poster irl

i was preparing a wet specimen one day and my dad was like this reminds me of my work buddy who ties dollar store balloons to roadkill and watches them fly away. and i had to drop everything for a second and say no. no i dont think this is like that