I Just Realized I’ve Spent At Least An Hour Trying To Find A Tumblr Post That Conveys How I Feel Right

I just want you all to know that there is life beyond your eating disorder. There is hope.

Your life will not always be numbers, body checks, obsessing over every little detail, binges or restriction, pain and suffering. I know it can feel like your ed is your home, who you should be, who you are. But it's not.

It may feel like you've lost yourself (or you've found yourself within this disorder), but I can promise you that you WILL find the real you again. You were not put on this earth to be sick. That is not your purpose in life.

It could feel like without this, there's nothing to you, that this is the only thing you can do right. It's not. There are so many wonderful things that make you you, and one of them is not your eating disorder.

In a weird way, it's kind of comforting, isn't it? It always trips me up to think about, but sometimes it feels like coming home after a long day and being able to drop your bags. But the thing is, there's no comfort to it at all. Our disorders are fantastic liars, and they've tricked us into think we need it, that without it, we're just a shell of a person. You don't need it, you've never needed it, and like I said previously, this disorder is not what makes you who you are. You do. Not anorexia, b.e.d, bulimia, orthorexia, or ednos.

You deserve a life not centered around food and the rules you've created. You deserve to be able to think about other things. To enjoy life again. Please don't let your ed tell you any differently.

Please reach out if you need someone to talk to or if you'd like to send an ask. I wish you all nothing but the best ♡

I think I’m learning to become comfortable in my loneliness, which I guess I was going to have to learn to do sooner or later. I would complain about the lack of social interaction I can say that it feels better than overextending myself to talk to the people I consider friends when they take so long to respond or don’t respond at all and then rarely take the initiative to reach out to me and with me already feeling a sense of stress that I don’t even know why I’m feeling it just wasn’t sustainable and yes it does hurt but so did being ignored and disregarded.

Don't sabotage your future peace because familiar chaos is comfortable.

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

girl exorcism ⊹˚. ♡

cuz sometimes we all get a little off track and need to wake the fuck up again !!! 🫶🩷

──★ ˙ ̟🐰 physical! 🎀

have an everything shower

do ur whole skincare routine

brush ur teeth, floss, dental care

arrange a new workout routine

dance, pilates, exercise, move around

go on a walk and thrive in nature like a plant or a tree

find and try out some new cute hairstyles

pamper urself! face masks, spa day, etc.

get ur beauty sleep

change your bedsheets and pillowcases

clean your makeup brushes

go through all haircare, skincare, makeup, etc. products

organise and donate or throw out all of the clothes you don't wear or don't make you feel like your own dream girl

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 mental! 🧸

write down all your thoughts. every one.

write down all the problems in your life right now

have a mental breakdown over something tiny and let all ur emotions out by bursting into tears

write down what you want and go over your dreams and goals

read over or write out your highest self and everything about them

analyse your mindset at the moment

write what limiting beliefs you have

remember and remind yourself of your "why", keep it somewhere you can see

write down all your bad habits

write down some new habits to counteract them, become your best self and to work towards the future

vaunt and go on a huuuge rant to urself about how beautiful and perfect and amazing you are bc you literally are <3

──★ ˙ ̟💬 personal! 🎀

sweep your room

open the curtains

wipe down all your mirrors

dust down all surfaces

go through all ur clothes and chuck out or donate ones you don't wear

clean out under your bed !!!!!!!!

rearrange your shelves

get some new posters & wall prints

go through all of the books, movies, series, content you're consuming right now and choose new ones that align with ur highest self

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 digital! 🎧

go through ur following on every platform and delete everyone that makes you feel even remotely negative

uninstall a bunch of apps you don't need

install useful, helpful, purposeful apps

go on the hunt for accounts that make you laugh, happy, or confident

redecorate your home page

revamp your social medias (pinterest, tumblr, instagram, etc)

go through all your playlists and reorganise your music

delete all depressing songs and media

go through your contacts, rename, delete, etc

It’s important to remember that affirmations are not meant to be said just when you’re ready to believe them. We practice affirmations so that we can offer ourselves reminders of kindness and do our best to act on them. It’s okay if you can say “I deserve good things” but can’t believe it yet. The goal is to gently work yourself up until you can.

things you can do at any stage in life:

love yourself

have a fresh start

go back to school

recover

make new friends

fall in love

go to therapy

learn a skill

discover your passion

repair relationships

change the world

find a new hobby

be happy

it isn’t too late for you. you’ll be okay. there’s no time limit on happiness.

You are allowed to be flawed. You are allowed to be vulnerable. You are allowed to be a complex individual with many layers beneath the surface. You are allowed to have opinions that don't agree with the status quo. You are allowed to live & take up space however you need to. You are allowed to speak your mind. You are allowed to keep your peace of mind protected. You are allowed to cultivate a definition of life you can agree with.

ANTI-CAPITALIST AFFIRMATIONS

i am allowed to spend my time creating things, even if they are not beautiful.

there is no such thing as a "real job." all forms of work are real and valid.

there is nothing that i need to accomplish to be worthy. i am already worthy.

doing nothing is good for my soul.

i am not defined by what i produce.

my worth cannot be measured by my paycheck, my job title, or a list of professional or academic achievements.

i do not need to monetize my hobbies, it is enough to spend time doing something i love.

i will not let society decide what success looks like. i can define what successful life looks like for me.