Rua Is So Sweet, Offering Solutions To Problems Lili Was Probably Making Bigger Than They Actually Were.

FAINTING SPELLS     ୨୧     @lgcjunyi   /   on most days, lili could hardly care about the rigidity of hierarchy and its subsequent rules as outlined by said order. but today was not most days — lili had checked the list once, twice, three times and it has definitely passed the reservation time! 

it was her turn to use the practice room — and the last thing lili liked was when her time was wasted, especially on a day before her beloved day off. starting the week strong could only be graced with ending the week just as strongly, and unfortunately, in order for that to happen, she had to finish practice. that is, if her patience didn’t wear off as thinly as it was starting to.

looking through the rooms until she comes across the one she had reserved, she peeks into the window — finding it oddly quiet — huh? was it not in use?

opening the door, she’s shocked to find the collapsed girl inside, buffering as she stares, wide-eyed at the girl sprawled in the middle of the room — fuck, was she breathing? did she need cpr? 

how did that go again? 

scrambling to her feet, lili does the first thing that comes to mind, reaching for her water bottle, she dumps it on the girl, that should wake her up, right?

BY GOOD WILL OR GOOD LUCK? is this lili being nice or is it just luck? — @lgckyoka

one would think — if you’ve been through one thing, something similar to it would be a breeze?

well, to lili, she’d say you were dead wrong. 

( because no two things could be the same, there was always something different )

thankfully, this was not one of those times — these were one of the times she’s able to bless her lucky stars for being so god-damned, four-leaf clover lucky. but perhaps luck had nothing to do with it — because, again, if you’ve been through one thing, you’ve been through it all. 

and since lili had painstakingly gone through grueling work to learn japanese just for some mock hosting gig that never saw the light of day — to do it again, but in korean — a language she would say she was a little more than familiar with, well — lili would tell you she just won the lottery.

that is how lucky she thinks such a task is.

a breeze, it would be — despite her initial belief ( read above ) — because wasn’t hosting all about self confidence? and apparently, lili had that in spades.

and by her good fortune — maybe she was feeling nice or maybe she felt bad for kyoka — she saddles up next to the other after an afternoon lesson, glancing over at the other’s notes before pointing at a phrase she notices with her sparkly pink pen. 

“is this what you wrote for the exercise earlier? the one about improvising a music show scene?”

໒꒱ . XU LILI _ 1V1 CONSULATION 、WORKSHOP # 002

lili prided herself on her one on one evaluations with her coaches. something about receiving critiques empowered her, in a way. if they flat-out told her she sucked, it evoked an irrational sense of determination in her. if they flattered her, it validated her. in the end, it was a win-win situation that worked in her favor. 

“ WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE YOUR STRENGTHS RIGHT NOW? ”

her strengths have always been her most steadfast of skills — they were what made it easy for lili to transition from some no name agency to the likes of legacy in a matter of weeks. her defaults came easy, rolling off the tongue in a crescendo of confidence that she wonders why seo youngjae had bothered wasting his breath. “singing, dancing, modeling — it’s a triple threat combination that i feel like i’ve perfected.” and to this day, lili believes is her clandestine repetotoire for her future and yet — "do you not agree?" she asks, at point blank, because if seo youngjae didn't, then obviously lili was not working hard enough. ( and that irked her )

“ WHAT ARE THREE SKILLS THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO WORK ON IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS? ”

she ponders this, and realizes the slight deflation in her response. it’s no surprise to anyone that her confidence had taken hit after hit in recent months. being looked over and not even considered for certain projects had been low blows that lili had tried her best to not get to her — since nobody asked, lili assumed she had done a good job in not showing it. but now, as the cards are laid down on the table and lili is asked to foresee what she could possibly do more — she feels affronted, almost affixed to her thoughts. “i feel like i’ve fallen short on my performance” — lili only says because coach jang insung had told her something along the same lines in passing the other day and if insung noticed, there was no way it wasn’t going to be brought up today. and lili knew better than to hide from the inevitable. “so, i’d probably work on my performance.” there was also that small stint as an extra for that film project, not much came of it but lili did like her time there even if she didn’t have lines, and if her face was covered — it was something. “maybe try working on my acting, actually being on a set had struck something in me, i guess. i couldn’t really stop thinking about it.” it was her way of saying she liked it without being so upfront about it. “i was also thinking of trying my hand at hosting but if i don’t like it … i could just keep working on my singing, i still have yet to really perfect my whistle tone.” 

“ IF GIVEN A CHANCE, WHAT TYPES OF GIGS WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN PARTICIPATING? ”

“with my current understanding, i feel i would be better suited to modeling and acting opportunities. i am interested in hosting but i don’t think i’m quite well-suited to them yet. otherwise, for modeling and acting, i feel like while i lack experience, i have learned enough about the field and have shown my interest enough that i would be easier for me to adapt to them.” a long-winded answer that, in hindsight, sounds almost rehearsed. and for that, lili’s fingers sneak into the side of her trousers for a slight pinch. it was an answer — eloquent, smooth, almost convincing in nature — that almost mimicked something her grandmother would have ate up and lili … at this point in her consultation, wanted to be honest — apparently, some habits were just too hard to forgo. 

“ DURING YOUR TIME HERE IN LEGACY, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE LESSONS THAT YOU’VE LEARNED ABOUT YOURSELF? ”

while not something she learned while at legacy, she finds it’s something that is becoming more and more of a hindrance to her growth and it’s — “i’m impatient. i feel like i’m ready for whatever it is you’ve yet to guarantee me.” but no matter how impatient she is, she finds herself drowning in this impatience. “and it makes me make more mistakes than i’m used to. i feel like i need to learn better ways to calm myself and/or learn how to be patient.” the latter is easier said than done, so lili prays for the former more than anything. and while lili does not beg, her words seem to beg to differ. 

"we'll talk more in april."

lili leaves feeling like she’s said something she shouldn’t have. a fault of saying too much to ears that only nitpicked to their heart’s desire. a disadvantage, lili thinks, as she walks away from her meeting with youngjae with an almost bitter taste in her mouth. suddenly, lili did not care for how fast time felt. she did not look forward to april. 

the first day of the year.

lili knows what it is — she always know what it is — but as all the years before, she learns it’s better to not expect anything. less expectations, less chances for her to get her hopes up and have them fall apart once the clock strikes midnight and the second day of the year comes with the first going unnoticed — again. 

the first day of the year.

lili knows what it is — she does — because the first day of the year: is her birthday.

this year comes in the form of a phone call and an apology — her grandmother calls, gives her her best, and then apologizes for hosting a party — not in her honor — but for the nth charity excursion her grandmother was aiding. her grandmother was 591 miles, and 2 hours and 15 minutes away and all lili received was a phone call — one that lasted less than ten minutes.

it would be sad if it wasn’t so … expected.

her birthdays of past, much like she believes this year to be, were always inconsequential. days that went by with no thoughts except living until the next day. this year wouldn’t be any different. this year, she thinks, she will still bear the bitter agony of expecting something she shouldn’t.

the first day of the year.

lili knows what it is — but this year, is surprisingly different.

what lili hadn’t been expecting was seeing taeha — having taeha lead with a surprise even though lili has always said ( rather unconvincingly, might we add ) that she didn't like surprises — suddenly being immersed in the brilliance that was taeha and being the center of her energetic display of affection. frozen in her place, her eyes open to reveal the same room she had entered minutes earlier, the one significant change is taeha — carrying a cake that lili can only describe as atrocious on sight, but she bites her lip.

( whether to stop the tears that had suddenly begun to well up at her lashes or the onslaught of forced ‘complaints’ at the tongue — who knows ) 

instead, she fiddles with a small smile pressed between her lips — a hand running through her hair as the other nears, “did you make this yourself?” even if the obvious is very well obvious, she still asks, inspecting the cake as she does so. it was cute, now that she looked at it, if she ignored the imperfections here and there — she could see taeha’s sincerity in clear view.

it’s the first day of the year.

lili knows what it is — had readied herself with zero expectations — but a part of her finds the longing in it quenched at the sight of taeha’s brilliant smile and her horribly iced penmanship. it made the saying it’s the thought that counts loom in the back of her mind and she can’t help the way her heart swoons, leaning forward at taeha’s command — eyes closing, one by one, as she takes a second — maybe three — before she blows out the candles.  

 「 ❀ 」  ━━ ˗ˏˋ 22 CANDLES !

@lgclili

"Close your eyes and keep them closed!" Taeha instructs from her place just outside the practice room. Inside Lili would be waiting for an extra special, super duper surprise ( as the string of texts she'd sent a few hours prior promised ). A bit of scuffle and shuffle can be heard beyond the open door, before she moves to take a few careful steps into the room, balancing a tray on her forearms.

"Okay, now open your eyes!"

On the tray is mini two - well, more like 1.5 if one were to be technical - tiered vanilla cake with a strawberry filling, covered by a thick layer of pink buttercream frosting. The words Happy Birthday are written in purple icing on top, alongside a pink and purple smudge camouflaged by a cluster of red candies arranged in the shape of a heart to conceal Taeha's failed attempts at writing Lili's name in fancy script. Finally, twenty-two brightly lit candles are placed wherever space would allow, illuminating Taeha's excited grin.

Sure, some may call it a "homemade monstrosity" ( coined by her older brother who was quite amused watching the cake's creation on Taeha's FaceTime version of Kitchen Nightmares ), but the trainee is certain her friend will love it! ...At least she hopes she does.

"Happy birthday, Lili! Make a wish!"

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

first snow fall of the year! did your wish come true? 

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

“i bid you no harm!” raised above her head, lili rises from where she had been laying in secret; where the hope of the other passing by her undetected had been all but lost, lili knew it was better to admit quick defeat than harbor another’s ire unto herself — she already had enough of that with the authorities. 

( she could only hope her picture plastered all over the kingdom’s posts did not do her justice )

she emerges from the shadows, slowly. assessing the situation with every dire step she took towards the unknown voice, if necessary, lili would run — there was no knowing how far she would get, but if all else failed, it would be her first prerogative to get the hell out of there.

 in the light, her eyes adjust, blinking for effect as she settles her gaze upon the other girl — and to her surprise, relief floods her, immensely. hands sought unto the girl’s wrist as first chance, nearly pummeling over the other in her rush. “miyu!” she couldn’t believe her eyes, what were the chances? had her luck changed? could miyu her lucky charm, per say? “w-what are you doing here?” the poisoned gardens hadn’t been the first place she would have pegged the other to venture, but then again, neither would lili be caught dead there, as well, if it hadn’t been exactly the place no one would come looking for her. 

━━ gyeseung | blossom ( @lgclili ) 

what drew miyu to the poisoned garden was mainly curiosity. though she had never truly been interested in the art of healing, her parents had tried desperately to teach her the tricks of their trade. seeing the dimension in the pocket realm, something pulled her towards it. she's forgotten most, if not all, of the craft, but is determined.

her journey begins and miyu starts to seek out a certain ingredient that will help restore the shine to her instrument, something to help polish it. it's an act of defiance in a way; using what she'd found in a way that her parents would turn their nose up to. she doesn't intend to stay in the garden for twenty days, not concerned with gaining poison immunity.

in fact, she'd rather get in and out as quickly as possible.

there's no map, no directions, but there's a picture burned in miyu's mind of what she needs to harvest. after searching for what feels like days, she's tired and ready to turn back. until she hears a rustling behind her.

"who's there?" she shouts, eyes darting around the area. miyu listens carefully, waiting for a response, sensing that someone else was in the area. "are you a friend, or are you a foe?"

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VALENTINE INTERLUDE     ୨୧     @lgcjunyi     /     her throat was dying, after belting out to wicked’s naughty high note — broken glasses withstanding — she needed to rest. she had just given the room the best they’ve ever heard — to lili’s standards — and what she wanted was a reward for her efforts.

beelining to junyi’s side, she sits next to the younger girl, reaching for an empty glass to fill with the pink punch that was going around. the reward she wished to be collected lay at the other’s tongue: “i’m parched — how’d your white day go?” cut to the chase; lili wanted details! “some guy gave me the grossest flower arrangements, yellow daisies! do i look like a yellow daisy type of person?” 

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

take me on a date to see nemo 🩵

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

call it an act of rebellion or a battle of wills — or maybe lili was just tired of playing the role of the ‘woe is thou’ and wounded — but the second she found out her grandmother had once again cancelled on her once again, lili was done playing a facade that was barely holding on by a thread. tape and plaster could do little to hold up what once was, such tools were futile to what true care and attention could do. unfortunately, lili knew such a thing — so, maybe in hindsight, it was better to shed these masks rather than cling to their rugged shards.

abandoning her role to play, sitting there to listen to a meeting that had nothing to do with her except play appearances was not how she wanted to waste her free time. the downfall of her crude decree of renouncing these responsibilities were that they had to fall on someone …. and sadly, that someone had to be yutai.

when she arrives, she comes with a consolation — or was it a perceived condolence? — in tow, a box of chocolates she had picked up in cheongdam on her way over. ducking into the fluorescence of the convenience store, she taps him on the shoulder with a passing hand; nearly missing his cup of ramen as she drops the dressed up chocolatier tote onto the counter. “as a thank you for your service today.”

it was lili’s best way of apologizing, even if an apology would never leave her glossed lips. ( it’s like they say, better than nothing, right? )

✧⁺ DIMMED LIGHT: @lgclili

yutai hated still being present in his family's lifestyle, but there was no helping it. this was an alternative to the promise he couldn't hold up with his mom. since he couldn't become a model within a year, he negotiated new terms that allowed him to still train but make appearances when summoned.

though today's dinner wasn't one he was summoned for, instead he volunteered to participate in it for a dear friend of his.

sometimes, he did things he didn't want to do to save the burden of those he cared for. he knew that when lili's grandmother canceled, she would have preferred to not show face when she was hurting. so being the friend he is, he decided to go instead of her and sit through the long, boring conversations about a business he didn't care for.

when he messaged her to meet up with him at a convenience store so he could fill himself with good ramen, he expected no backtalk from her. not today.

standing by the window, he mixed his preferred dinner (even if it wasn't the healthiest) and waited for her to show up so they could talk about all the things she missed out on.