Truth Be Told, Lili Had Been Using The Fact That She Was A Foreigner As Her Golden Ticket. Not Being

u know that scene in jennifer's body where megan fox puts foundation all over her face in a desperate attempt to look like even a semblance of her old self whose picture she has hanging next to her mirror so she's reminded of the appearance she's lost and she gets a little unhinged during the process and just starts smearing it everywhere? womanhood

HOW TO SAY I’M BORED BUT LIKE REALLY, REALLY BORED? lili knows english but apparently not the english that matters — @lgcasami

strangely enough, despite living in america — namely the palm-tree lined yards of bel air — for nine years, lili still considers english her second language; even if she confuses her mandarin more than her los angeles-accented english, she stills tells herself that she’s far more fluent in her mother-tongue than any other language she learns after the fact. and perhaps that is why she’s now stuck here, in english class, relearning grammar structures and how english really makes no fucking sense but here they are — still learning it for the sake of western advancement.

( a part of her wonders why she didn’t just take japanese lessons again, at least she’d be learning something worth her while )

it is with these thoughts that she looks to asami. good ol’ asami, always there to take her mind of the boring present and the relentlessly annoying english grammar system that makes no sense whatsoever. “so, did you learn anything new today?” she asks, actually curious if anyone else had listened to the lesson and had not dazed off like she had. “or are you regretting taking english and wished you took korean instead?”

finally peace and quiet — the perfect place to dish out her grievances without the annoying coaches butting their unnecessary comments in rebuttal to lili’s own annoying complaints.

she was not some dancing monkey at the circus who could work for peanuts — or was it bananas, irrelevant! — lili needed her breaks ( and a place to complain, freely ), too. it wasn’t like she was the only one who had been idling during the break — she was in the middle of an important phone call!

( sure, it had just been a small here and there of whispered complaints to seojin about how she hated catallena with a burning passion but it wasn’t not important as one of the coaches had said — it was important to lili, there was merit in her complaints, alright! )

sliding her phone back into her pocket, she pries herself out of the restroom she had holed herself in to avoid the coaches other unmentionable and otherwise unwarranted pieces of advice when she had received maylin’s text that it was time to go back. 

faced with another trainee — so, that was who had come bustling in with the slammed door and all — lili looks her once over. noticing the slight leveling of the other’s breath, she wonders if she should intrude — the other did look like she was trying to find a moment of peace. obviously another person who couldn’t find such in the stuffy practice room — a thought lili feels induce a smirk of satisfaction, one she stamps out immediately when she notices the water on the other’s cheek.

stilling her movements, lili goes to wash her hands, quietly — trying to find leeway for a conversation, wondering if she should even start one. 

( she didn’t really care for it but lili just couldn’t help but want to pry — )

drying her hands on a paper towel, lili pretends to fuss for a second, maybe two, before she reaches for another towel and hands it to the other girl. “sarang, right?” she makes a movement with her other hand, tapping at her cheek as if to say ‘you have something on your face’. “they’re telling us that we have to head back.” 

it had just been a pretty shit day.

it started with her class, those outside of legacy. sarang wasn't sure if it was something as simple as waking up on the wrong side of the bed but she felt off from the moment she opened her eyes. that feeling only increased as she made her way through the day. but that was horrible enough but then it came to training and it felt like an out of body experience.

she thought she'd be fine with 'ah-choo' but nothing was coming together. mistakes had been made, moves missed, her voice wasn't strong enough. nothing was right and that only served to stress her out more because she hated getting things wrong. for someone who chased perfection, anything less than that was earth shattering. it didn't help that it was public either.

by the time they finally broke for a break, sarang only took a seconds of inching towards the door before she bolted for the bathroom. she headed straight for a mirror, quietly trying to talk herself down.

bad days happened but this one was rough. rough enough that she had to splash some water on her face and take the time to breathe. right now, she knew she didn't paint the prettiest of pictures, bend over the sink that she sick, breathing just a tad too heavily. it'd past, it had too. she had to get back before they started practicing.

@lgclili

“i think i passed him briefly in the makeup trailer.” what lili should have done was introduce herself but what happened to being a gentleman? should lili do everything herself? 

before lili could huff at the comment, he’s retracting it and all lili could do was pout — lips formed, whether because she lost her chance to tease him for it or that she was looking for an outlet to rid her of her nerves.

nerves? around jisoo — who knew.

“sure, i suppose that’s what you meant.” she could only believe him at face value, “how do you know we won’t start a fight in the middle of the shoot — strong personalities and all?” wondering where jisoo’s head was at — to put the two of them together, if that had been the case. lili would have thought it be a disaster — strong personalities often were, especially when pitted against another, if not, stronger one. 

if she chooses not to keep it, he thinks it'd be very amusing if a package arrived for her in the mail anyway - which haru and lili likely would be gifted after it was all over, when the shooting wrapped up, but jisoo isn't going to say that right now, as he definitely is no mind reader and cannot figure lili out - even after all these years, tragic. ( or maybe, the better way to say it is, he can figure her out, but its always better to not say it aloud to dispel the moment. )

the corners of his eyes crease as he smiles, nonplussed at her demeanour. it seems... the shoot will run smoothly? permitting that the two mains don't butt heads. "i mean, you know i can if i am in the corner. just don't put me in the corner, and i won't bite,' clearing his throat, he glances in the direction where she is towards and agrees. "perhaps that may be one of the ones selected. we certainly won't only pick one, so there is some variety." everything seems to be coming aligned, unlike the rarity in the sky that will never occur. but for him, the three of them aligning on the same trajectory was enough.

"have you met your co-star yet?" jisoo must inquire, since it is likely that the dual shots will come soon. "i hope neither of you will chase the other away with respectively, strong personalities in very different ways. its a compliment, i swear," he insists, holding his palms out.

she turns around to gag, the overwhelming smell of chicken shit may  have gotten to her. this was absolute torture — she had no idea how yoomi was doing that, eyes taking in the way the other drops the last remains of dirt into a bin; nearly jumping out of her skin when she sees some of it scatter into the air from the abrupt collapse of weight into such a compact place. 

lili tries to wipe the grimace from her face but she fears it only further enhances the look of wariness that rides along a chagrin smile. she was convinced their management hated them — why else would they drop them into the middle of nowhere doing manual labor when there were far more appropriate ski resorts, zen retreats and water parks to otherwise spend more engaging and family-friendly variety time at? 

farming was so boomer.

“hm.” is lili’s only response, lest she say something she knows she shouldn’t.  from today, lili did not have hopes for tomorrow. picking up a nearby rag by the tip of her forefinger and thumb to place it in the bin they were to wash later that day.

“anything would be better than this.” she returns, trying to swallow another gag as she stands to yoomi’s left. god, when they said they were going to get some fresh air — lili did not think getting poisoned by a chicken’s excrements would be a part of that definition. "i wonder if my career as an idol doesn't work out, i guess i could moonlight as a farmer." she tries to joke, even though, deep down lili knows the last place anyone would ever find her would be on a farm.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ bock bock b***. ࿐ྂ

@lgclili

being forever the optimist, losing wasn't something that ever really bothered yoomi. now, they didn't technically lose anything, but it felt like her team had gotten the more strenuous of two tasks as she cleaned out the chicken coops with the rest of her fellow trainees.

sure, yoomi would've much more preferred to pick fruit from tree than be scooping up chicken poop right now, but she was simply grateful that this wasn't her daily life and that once this show was over, everyone could go back to their chicken poop free lives.

she and lili had finished taking out all the old bedding, all they needed to do was clean out the poop, sprinkle the powder they were given to ward off pests and put in fresh new bedding. "c'mon lili, we can do this! we're almost halfway done. after this we'll never have to think clean another chicken coop in our life!" yoomi flashes her friend a bright smile, trying to keep her spirits up as she swept up all the dirt and poop they had discovered under the bedding.

"yummy." yoomi sarcastically thought as she emptied the last of the dirt into a nearby bin. "okay i think that was the worst of it, let's change all the bedding now and pray that we get a better task tomorrow." she nods, laughing softly as she swiped sweat that was building up on her forehead.

lili laughs, a breath pushed forcibly as she straightens up from her end pose. “you’re much too kind, and you’re probably lying but i’ll take it.”

reaching for her towel, she pats along her forehead before letting it drop to the rest of her belongings. “maybe — maybe a partner would be better.” she sighs, still uncertain with the compromise, finally coming back to sit beside rua.

“you literally read my mind,” lili admits, like a breath of relief to finally be speaking her mind to someone who wasn’t all gung-ho about their current predicament. the others couldn’t wait to express themselves creatively, and yet, all lili felt was exhaustion. “like who am i kidding, i think — i’m just not meant to be choreographing”

it wasn’t to say lili wasn’t creative — no, she could be if she put half the mind into it.

but to be frank, even lili couldn’t fake putting her heart into something that she didn’t really care for — and maybe that was why everything was feeling so wrong. her passion was misplaced, it had only taken now to realize that no matter the excuse she put up — it would always feel wrong because lili wasn’t someone who planned and created, at least not in the form she was in now, no — she was the executioner. 

she was the model to the artist, she would breathe life into the idea — not have the idea, itself. 

( at least, in lili’s not-so-humble opinion )

 “how is your stuff coming along?”

་ ⸼ ⸒ ✴ previously、

as long as lili isn't expecting well, concrete and actually helpful advice, rua is happy to watch whatever the other has come up with so far. even if she didn't know much about techniques and styles and all that, she can at least tell if something is pleasing and nice to watch.

when the song starts playing, rua can already picture the kind of dance that's likely to follow. it screams contemporary (she at least knows that much) but the thing about this genre of dance is that, it's very... free and there's not exactly rules or structure to follow or adhere to, or else it wouldn't be considered that style anymore. to her, one of the defining features of this kind of dance is a flowy-kind of feeling, with some powerful moves when the song hits certain notes or peaks - and that's more or less what she sees when lili starts demonstrating what she's put together so far.

part of her is in awe though, that the other had already come up with this much and although lili calls the movements stiff, rua doesn't think she's giving herself enough credit. "i don't think it looks silly," she says with a light laugh. "it's much better than anything i could've came up with honestly." although that isn't saying much, considering her absolute lack of knowledge and ability to choreograph but that's not the focus here!

"maybe you just need to get used to the movements more?" she suggests, wondering if the 'stiff' feeling lili speaks of is because the dance doesn't feel natural to her yet. "i've barely done any dance like this so i think i'd feel really out of place if i tried to suddenly." but she's not sure if that's really the source of the problem, her just guessing, or a personal issue. "or maybe the moves are meant to be done with a partner?"

“christ,” lili curses under her breath, fingers running through her hair as she steps back. she was thankful — no, relieved — when she sees the other open her eyes to a blurry haze. she was alive — there was no need for cpr that lili did not know heads or tails of or 119. shit, should she still call them just in case? the girl did look like she needed some type of medical attention. “are you sure, you looked like … kinda two steps to heaven?”

watching the other nearly stumble, lili sighs; hands on her hips, brows furrowed before shaking her head. a hand raised to stop the other, if not extend a hand to stabilize her. “no, no — it’s okay. i was going to use it but you don’t look so good, you should stay. rest, maybe go to the infirmary? does this happen often?” 

One moment, she was studying her form in the mirror, checking the angle of her leg as she pointed it towards ceiling. The next moment, she was looking into the eyes of a girl she recognized but was not overly familiar with and completely soaked.

Junyi was not alarmed - this was, unfortunately, a common enough occurrence.

"I am alright," she whispered reassuringly, bringing a hand up to sweep across her wet bangs. People did not typically use water to wake her up; they most often opted for shaking and shouting. Junyi wasn't sure if she preferred this method more.

Regardless.

"Thank you for your help. Apologies if I alarmed you." She smiled despite the circumstances and sat herself up slowly. "I must have overheated. Or something." Her doctors in China informed her that she had a problem with her qi, and that was why she experienced these moments of weakness. It's been improving, but not quickly enough.

"Are you here for the practice room?" Junyi glanced at the clock. "Sorry. I'll get going now." She reached for her towel in the corner to wipe her face. Must have moved too fast, because she nearly fell over again.

nearly wincing at the sound his straw makes as it makes contact with it’s plastic borders, a hand raises to stop him — already feeling the overdramatic and too real ache of a migraine rumbling at her temples. “please stop.” ignoring the fact that it would be her first and only time she ever uttered please in his presence. 

she tilts her head at that — confusion filtering through her features within seconds. “why else would we have coffee?” and lili was far too prideful to head over to jieun’s truck, even if the dessert selection did appear yummier from the looks of the cute banners. “i think they’d rather have a thank you from you though,” her eyes run from him to the workers behind the counter who obviously haven’t taken their eyes off of the actor since his appearance before the stand.

“why don’t you honor them that pretty little actor smile they all love?” 

she almost has to laugh, though, seeing hyunsoo in his element had been interesting. it was definitely a glaring contrast to seeing him at some stuffy party filled with obnoxious social climbers and money-grubbers. 

“hardly — just some annoyance that won’t stop bothering me. maybe you know her.” she fishes for her phone before revealing to him the long list of messages from his mother lili hadn’t bothered replying to. 

There are a number of coincidences that happen within industry when one comes from the background that Hyunsoo does. It becomes inevitable. Children of executives offered positions at studios or pushed into roles by overbearing mothers, bored socialites figuring they will make their acting debut. The industry has and always will reek of nepotism and advantages taken with money.

Needless to say, seeing Lili on the film set comes as little to no shock. Not for any reasons listed prior — on the contrary, he is certain her determination has landed her there just as his did. She would not be subject to walking around in a plague doctor mask ( faceless ) had she a say in the matter and he knows it. And, perhaps, she would not seem so displeased to see him.

To meet her halfway, He pushes past a few young murmuring staff members; of whom giggled amongst themselves when he stood back in awe of his gifted coffee truck. ( Pictures of himself are plastered along the sides on posters that would soon be torn for the next gig. )

"Why are you thanking me? You should be thanking them, too," voice laced with what can only be described as a hint of sarcasm, he reaches for the iced americano, stretching the straw in and out of it with an agonizing scrape before he takes a sip. "You seem particularly... snippy today. What's wrong? Displeased with the movie's premise?"

໒꒱ . LGC FAMILY CONCERT # 2024  、

she needed this.

what better time of the year to get her mind off of the fact that she was practically an orphan around the holidays. and yes, that was exactly what legacy’s family concert turned out to be: the perfect distraction. 

there is no time for hell raising, no complaints to be said this time — they’ve all been done before and surprisingly, lili had no will to fight them this time around. it’s an oddity, sure, the girl who was so used to having poison for a tongue and fire in her eyes, willingly compliant and obedient to an event she, otherwise, wouldn’t have bat her eyes to. but she was there, day in and day out, practicing like she didn’t already know all the words, repeating each routine and step as if it hadn’t already been engrained into her muscle memory. 

it begs the question:

was something wrong?

it’s a tale she’d never tell. in fact, when questioned by some of her peers, all she does is laugh and reply back:

“what? is it so surprising that i might actually enjoy doing the family concert?”  

because yes — it was surprising.

and perhaps enjoy was too strong of a word.

it was a nice relieve to the mundane and her constant woe is me that came with the autumn holidays. it was just nice to think about something else, really.

when the day comes, lili finds herself lost in the bustle — the craziness of family concert that she doesn’t really have the time to think about how her grandmother had sent her away with a pamphlet of money and her well-wishes typed into a text message read by an assistant who cared enough to take the two hour flight from beijing. 

and with all things considered, as she’s mouthing to so hot, laughing against the crowd’s roars, arms linked with jiah, lili can only think — thank god, i get to do this all over again tomorrow.

the date lottery is far from lili’s reality — if anything, it’s her very own acting reel that she needs to polish up. and lili ain’t no actor — but what she is is competitive. so, she plays the show like how she plays her most precious, most interesting of games.

the more she can make the viewers believe that she’s falling for minkyu and his charistmatic charms — and vice versa — the more rewards she hopes to reap. ( whatever rewards may that be —  it keeps things interesting ) at any rate — from the subtle twinkle she spies in minkyu’s gaze; an unspoken agreement seems to form extended from their previous verbal wager — at least they’re on the same page.

“you’ve never skiied before?” the declaration would have otherwise bothered lili — why else would we be at the slopes if you don’t know how to ski? but she remains patient, calming that irritating little devil in her in favor for the calm and tranquil persona she was trying to portray; her brows furrow in a gentle confusion before her lips form a precious smile, almost amused at the thought.

“well, you’re in luck. my grandma has brought me to the slopes almost every winter without fail,” her grandmother had brought her once and left her to fend for herself with strict russian instructors. “so you could say i got a lifetime of snowledge.” kill her — kill her now. her smile brightening despite the cringy dialogue, trying not to laugh at her own demise as she looks to minkyu.

“i’ve been told i’m a good teacher, too.”

no one has ever — on this earth — told her such a thing.

her surprise is paused — a slow lift of the brow as she watches minkyu descend upon one knee. “thank you.” settling onto the seat, she quickly undoing her moon boots in favor of the ski boots that minkyu helps her into. a hand reaches out gently to hold his shoulder to still her movements as she digs her feet, one after the other, into each boot; making sure they’re properly in and not loose. leaning close to inspect her shoes, she turns her chin to look at minkyu, the hand at his shoulder squeezes it lightly, in kind, as her smile is practically beaming. “they fit perfectly, shall i help you with yours?”

From the very beginning of their fake dating experience, one thing Minkyu has been consistently grateful for how effortlessly Lili aligns with his vision of what to portray: the perfect blend of sweet, romantic gestures designed to set hearts fluttering, both among the fans and the ever-adoring staff.

“Well, well,” he muses, a playful lilt in his voice as he sweeps a hand through the crisp winter air, guiding her past the entrance gate toward the ski rental. “You and I, my dearest Lili, are about to embark on our very own ski adventure, from way up there,” he points toward the towering peak of the slope, “all the way back down here.” The distant echoes of laughter and excited chatter from other skiers weave into the moment, painting a picture of a perfect winter wonderland.

He exhales, a chuckle escaping as he admits, “I have to be honest... coming from Busan, where the sun is king, I’ve never actually been skiing before.” His confession is lighthearted, almost sheepish, as they step into the rental shop, where an employee has conveniently already prepared skis in their sizes.

But rather than simply handing Lili her pair, Minkyu’s expression softens. With an easy grace, he gestures for her to take a seat on the wooden bench before lowering himself onto one knee. His usual bravado gives way to something gentler; his voice quieter now, almost intimate.

“Let me help you put them on.” he says, fingertips brushing against the bindings with care. Because even if this is all for show, he’s determined to make it feel real.