Lili Had Always Been An Only Child. 

•  ໒꒱ . TRAINEE MISSION # 18 _ LILI : OFF DUTY 、

something to know about lili was that she was not an early riser.

as someone who loved her beauty sleep — she, more often than not, could be caught snoozing her alarm; it was a sore reminder for the days when she used to room with jiah, and could only rely on the other to wake her up before she left for the day. but without her, relying on herself and her phone’s alarm had made mornings a little harder. 

this particular morning was by far the hardest — waking up early was a bad, waking up even earlier to set up the camera for the most perfect ‘i just woke up like this’ shot was the worst.

blinking the sleep away, a brush of her fist against her eyes as she looks to the camera that she had pointed at her face — a unobscured close up — that lili only smiles to, breathing a rather groggy, “morning.” before laughing and turning away from the camera — pulling the covers up to her nose as she blinks at the time noted in red from across the room on the alarm clock. 6:35, ugh — so early. 

she shuts off the video then, checking the footage first, in the off chance that she’d have to redo that embarrassing display over again — thankfully she does not — and once it’s done with, lili wishes she could just lay back, continue on to dreamland but alas, now that she was up — she was up. 

wandering into the kitchen, lili picks up a banana and a protein shake from the fridge — the initial grimace she usually makes when she takes a gulp of her shake is wiped clean as she remains as passive as possible while going about her morning. 

today’s agenda includes lgc family concert practice — a continuation of some nostalgia stages and others — and her japanese lesson; things she lists off to the camera while finishing off her banana, “and then i get to go home and do my skincare.” she laughs, quietly noting that doing her skincare and makeup may be her favorite parts of her personal time. 

for someone who wasn’t well-versed with documenting every second of her day for someone other than herself to see, lili was quick to fall into ease in front of a camera. propping it against her tumbler; she sits back for her japanese lesson; taking out her usual suspects for the review: her my melody plush pencil case and it’s paired notebook as well as the recording device she usually brought with her to record the teacher’s dictations ( it helps her to repeat the phrases she learned that day when she hears it again spoken by a professional  ); all placed side by side as she waits for the teacher to come in.

it’s kind of funny how diligent lili is in her lesson considering just a couple months ago she had dreaded learning the language all because she had been under the impression that she had been placed in the workshop as a mistake — yet, here she is, almost five months into learning a new language.

maybe it was something she had a knack at — and at this point, after feeling somewhat comfortable in not one, not two, not even three but four languages — lili couldn’t help but feel proud of herself.

she wouldn’t call herself fluent — never, not yet at least — but as she scribbles on her notebook to show to the camera, at the end, she can’t help but feel that she was getting there.

❮  わたしの ほうが かわいいでしょ？  ❯

i'm cute, aren't i?

giggling, she shows what she’s written to the camera, winking as she points at herself before setting the notebook down.

while the day hadn’t been long, lili was more than happy to be home, already slipping on her my melody headband ( not meant for washing faces but don’t tell lili that because she’ll still wear it regardless ) and reaching for her oil cleanser to remove the bits of her mascara, tone up cream and sunscreen. 

her night routine wasn’t some agonizing 10 step system but it definitely did take a while and would keep lili in the bathroom for longer than she should be; it’s why after she washes her face, with a quick pat, she’s returning to her bedroom to do the rest of her skincare; making sure to dry each layer she places on her skin — whether its her toner, serum or emulsions — they each take their time to dry before she places the next. 

she’s left with just her face mask when she’s met with the camera once again — hand waving as she blows a cute kiss it’s way before saying goodnight. 

“愿你走进甜甜梦乡 ~”

may you enter sweet dreamland. 

BLACK WIDOW. lili makes a passing observation, unfortunately it's about jieun ; black banquet filming site — @lgcjieun

lili wasn’t a superstitious person — because coincidences could very well be just that — coincidences. and maybe it was just lili overthinking — or maybe, just maybe, it was the devil working her magic.

or worse yet — maybe it was jieun being in absolute close proximity that was driving lili up the wall.

( read: yes, it was 100%, absolutely, quadruply that )

like now for instance:

from a distance, lili had been fine. mingling with the other extras hadn’t been hard — they were friendly enough, seojin was here somewhere and then he wasn’t ( but this wasn’t about him ) — she was minding her own damn business, still sipping on the coffee she had gotten from hyunsoo’s coffee truck when from the corner of her eye she spots jieun’s manager running about like their head had been cut off.

enough that the sight had been picked up by not just she, but the others around her. each one, of note, murmuring their amusement while lili — while amused — couldn’t help but feel that aftertaste of envy under her iced americano. ugh, how unsightly. 

they weren’t too far from where jieun — a near shoulder or two apart, really — not that it mattered, as lili recounts her mere observation to any willing ear. 

“god, that poor manager, one paycheck away from being her slave.” she says to bumbling fools and nodding heads, a scattered agreement that turns to silence when the manager in question comes to a stop in front of them with jieun’s coffee and the realization of who they were gossiping about had been beside them all along. the quieted gasps turn to quickened steps as they make their escape, leaving jieun and lili to more than just rubbing shoulders and iced coffees.

“oh, jieun. didn’t see you there, seems like your manager was able to find you right away though. thank god, he was looking for you everywhere.” poor him, lili thinks.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

soaking up the springtime sunshine

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

family con is always my favorite time of the year! what was your favorite performance? mine was obviously performing i got a boy and so hot with everyone! will i see you all tomorrow? let’s go another day 💗

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

“i think i passed him briefly in the makeup trailer.” what lili should have done was introduce herself but what happened to being a gentleman? should lili do everything herself? 

before lili could huff at the comment, he’s retracting it and all lili could do was pout — lips formed, whether because she lost her chance to tease him for it or that she was looking for an outlet to rid her of her nerves.

nerves? around jisoo — who knew.

“sure, i suppose that’s what you meant.” she could only believe him at face value, “how do you know we won’t start a fight in the middle of the shoot — strong personalities and all?” wondering where jisoo’s head was at — to put the two of them together, if that had been the case. lili would have thought it be a disaster — strong personalities often were, especially when pitted against another, if not, stronger one. 

if she chooses not to keep it, he thinks it'd be very amusing if a package arrived for her in the mail anyway - which haru and lili likely would be gifted after it was all over, when the shooting wrapped up, but jisoo isn't going to say that right now, as he definitely is no mind reader and cannot figure lili out - even after all these years, tragic. ( or maybe, the better way to say it is, he can figure her out, but its always better to not say it aloud to dispel the moment. )

the corners of his eyes crease as he smiles, nonplussed at her demeanour. it seems... the shoot will run smoothly? permitting that the two mains don't butt heads. "i mean, you know i can if i am in the corner. just don't put me in the corner, and i won't bite,' clearing his throat, he glances in the direction where she is towards and agrees. "perhaps that may be one of the ones selected. we certainly won't only pick one, so there is some variety." everything seems to be coming aligned, unlike the rarity in the sky that will never occur. but for him, the three of them aligning on the same trajectory was enough.

"have you met your co-star yet?" jisoo must inquire, since it is likely that the dual shots will come soon. "i hope neither of you will chase the other away with respectively, strong personalities in very different ways. its a compliment, i swear," he insists, holding his palms out.

super late plot call for the trainee mission ! if anyone still needs a prep & activities thread, lili is free to take up a couple ! please like or reply and i’ll hop into your messages ♡

rua is so sweet, offering solutions to problems lili was probably making bigger than they actually were. it’s to a point that lili felt the need to further whine, arms winding around the other, almost leaning on her, as she groans — the workshop had been fun but the evaluation was truly going to be the death to her and her creativity (and she severely lacked in that department), “ughhhhhh, why can’t we just go on shows together — i wish this evaluation was a paired thing, at least, if you were by my side i wouldn’t feel as weird about making a fool of myself.”

and it was the truth.

looking dumb by herself was one thing — but doing it together, at least it shaved off some of the embarrassment.

then she pauses, pulling back to give rua a look. “please tell me you are not seriously thinking of stuffing your mouth full of marshmallows on national television as a form of entertainment.” she frowns, shaking her head, rua was much too good for this industry. “if i can be cool, you can be cool too.” 

rua had a point, she could just be super competitive and witty and cool in that way but did lili want her public persona to be that of a cool girl? hadn’t she wanted to be someone so far off from her regular persona a la double life? 

་ ⸼ ⸒ ✴ previously、

rua pauses drinking the water and blinks at lili's words for a moment before slowly nodding. "i think, anyways...?" she caps her bottle and places it next to her before thinking. "astrid sunbae seemed to think me being able to fit a lot of big marshmallows in my mouth was a good talent but i have a hard time calling it a special skill, you know?" it felt a bit silly to, honestly, but she supposes that is probably expected when it comes to variety shows. "i might just go with that," she shrugs, still a bit unsure herself. at the same time, it's not like she had many other potential skills she could use that would also be possibly entertaining.

"i guess anything can be turned into a special skill or talent, in a way," rua says after hearing lili's concerns and mulling them over, trying to recall what she had learned from the workshop and how you can find surprise so-called 'talents' from the most minor and random things. "like how did me being bored one day and deciding to try stuffing my mouth with marshmallows after seeing the chubby bunny challenge becoming a trend become something i could use for a variety show?" rua laughs because she never would've guessed that random moment would come in handy at a time like this.

an idea suddenly hits her at that moment though and she sits up straighter like something had physically struck her. "oh! but you're a good dancer right? that could be your talent too! it doesn't always have to be something funny... you could just be cool, too?"

it's then that she remembers something else from the workshops and decides to bring it up just in case it might help the other. "you could also just go the route of being witty and clever, and bantering with the cast and other guests on a show, instead of just focusing on a specific skill to show off... or maybe just being super competitive if its a show or segment with missions and games," rua suggests as she mentally goes down the list of shows she's watched in the past and what she's fund personally entertaining while watching them.

HOW TO SAY I'M FUCKED IN JAPANESE? where lili probably shouldn't be in this workshop and yet, here she is — @lgcichika

she shouldn’t complain, really.

wasn’t this what she meant by she was interested in hosting — looking back, lili hadn’t really thought they would have taken such a small mention so seriously. at least, this is what she tells herself as she sits across from ichika and tries to find rational in why she was lumped into a workshop for a language she didn’t know a lick about.

still, she was no quitter, even if said workshop expected her to speak a whole-ass dialogue and such for some mock hosting gig as the evaluation. no, even then, lili was no quitter.

but — she did think they could have cut her some slack. just from the basic phrases and such that ichika had gone over in passing earlier with the rest of the group, lili was still having trouble wrapping her head around it all and this is after going over her notes thrice in the last half-hour. “i know, i suck — but i swear, i really didn’t know any japanese going into this so i think … really, i’m quite the improvement, wouldn't you agree?"

shen xiaoting

all lili can do in return is nod. hand dropping once the other takes the tissue to wipe her face — and under lili’ scrutinizing gaze ( one that lili tries her best to disguise as concern when it really was just her busybody nosiness rearing its ugly head ) — lili wonders what had gotten the other so worked up. had sarang also been stressed over the setlist? or had she suddenly been delivered a bout of bad news?

she wasn’t pregnant was she?

lili does a once-over before shaking her head. no — that couldn’t be true. but did she have a right to intervene? she hardly knew the other — and lili wouldn’t call herself a saint. 

her eyes go wide when sarang begins to bumble — words stuttering out that lili feels herself freeze. lili was in no way a comforting person. sure, a hand on the shoulder — as she dead-scrolled on tiktok — an open ear and nodding grace — as her eyes glassed over and picked on key words — these were lili’s form of companionship when cornered with someone who needed a sprinkle of comfort and concern.

but words of ease? words of encouragement — lili feels her jaw slacken. “are you okay? it’s okay to breathe — i’m sure they’re not starting right this second.” shit, maybe not the right thing to say to someone who looked like they were about to drop dead from their self-inflicted hyperventilation. “okay, why don’t we slow down — uh … have you tried breathing exercises before?” 

“you know — like one, in — two …. out …” lili says, in her most gentlest tone — instructing in the same way she would her grandma’s dog. “why don’t we try that again? please don’t pass out on me, i don’t know first aid.” 

she hadn't noticed that there was another person in the bathroom. she was too busy going over every single thing she managed to get wrong during practice. not even mistakes only she noticed but enough to get constantly called out. her thoughts were spiraling fast. as if they hadn't been already.

then came the little prick of tears. what if this lead to a bad review? what if it lead to her being kicked out? the more she thought, the more she tossed water on her face to cover that up as well. but she couldn't bring herself to calm down. so it didn't help when she heard a voice and she had to kept herself from screaming.

sarang's face paused in horror for a moment. more so of the fact that someone caught her in the middle of a break down. it took more than a few seconds needed to process what was being said to her and held out to her. it took a few more seconds to take it with a slightly shaky hand and bow of head. "y-yeah." she not only mumbled but stumbled over the word.

"l-lili right?" she muttered back, trying to force herself to take breaths as she rubbed at her eyes. did the other notice she was crying? it only made her rub her eyes harder in an attempt to hide. her face dropped at the news. she needed more time. "u-uh..." breathe. "i-i'll be back in a sec-cond. um, could you.." she didn't want to bring anyone into her mess either. "i-...i- i'll be b-back...soon, i just need a s-second." now she was making a fool of herself but that didn't matter when she couldn't slow her heartbeat.