🥺 💗

“i bid you no harm!” raised above her head, lili rises from where she had been laying in secret; where the hope of the other passing by her undetected had been all but lost, lili knew it was better to admit quick defeat than harbor another’s ire unto herself — she already had enough of that with the authorities. 

( she could only hope her picture plastered all over the kingdom’s posts did not do her justice )

she emerges from the shadows, slowly. assessing the situation with every dire step she took towards the unknown voice, if necessary, lili would run — there was no knowing how far she would get, but if all else failed, it would be her first prerogative to get the hell out of there.

 in the light, her eyes adjust, blinking for effect as she settles her gaze upon the other girl — and to her surprise, relief floods her, immensely. hands sought unto the girl’s wrist as first chance, nearly pummeling over the other in her rush. “miyu!” she couldn’t believe her eyes, what were the chances? had her luck changed? could miyu her lucky charm, per say? “w-what are you doing here?” the poisoned gardens hadn’t been the first place she would have pegged the other to venture, but then again, neither would lili be caught dead there, as well, if it hadn’t been exactly the place no one would come looking for her. 

━━ gyeseung | blossom ( @lgclili ) 

what drew miyu to the poisoned garden was mainly curiosity. though she had never truly been interested in the art of healing, her parents had tried desperately to teach her the tricks of their trade. seeing the dimension in the pocket realm, something pulled her towards it. she's forgotten most, if not all, of the craft, but is determined.

her journey begins and miyu starts to seek out a certain ingredient that will help restore the shine to her instrument, something to help polish it. it's an act of defiance in a way; using what she'd found in a way that her parents would turn their nose up to. she doesn't intend to stay in the garden for twenty days, not concerned with gaining poison immunity.

in fact, she'd rather get in and out as quickly as possible.

there's no map, no directions, but there's a picture burned in miyu's mind of what she needs to harvest. after searching for what feels like days, she's tired and ready to turn back. until she hears a rustling behind her.

"who's there?" she shouts, eyes darting around the area. miyu listens carefully, waiting for a response, sensing that someone else was in the area. "are you a friend, or are you a foe?"

thank god it’s not the ugly burger outfits she had seen during the briefing. it was the least they could do — hitting rock bottom in terms of stage outfits shouldn’t be a given, not when they were already putting their vocal chords on the line with the atrocitious catallena screech.

( honestly the sound alone had begun to haunt her in her sleep )

she steps towards the selections, cycling through the arrangements with a pursed lip — fingers flipping through the outfits with an discerning eye, noticing that the names had, in fact, been hung alongside the attires. oh, it was as bad as she had feared. 

“i hate to be the bearer of bad news.” she didn’t, it was probably one of her favorite things to do — but this was maylin, and lili couldn’t help but have a soft spot for the girl. so, she chooses to ease her into the burn — if one could call it that. “but — alright,” turning away from where she had spotted their name tags alongside the outfits, she takes maylin by the hand and corners her attentions.

“would you rather be a tuna nigiri or a salmon maki?”

 not that it would matter, but wasn’t it more fun to build the suspense?

the silence came rolling in, along with the carts of hats that stared back at the girls. maylin could have sworn she saw sparkles for a split second. while the others were giddy and filled with excitement to wear such clothes and perform on a stage that would be broadcast to the public, maylin could feel her blood temperature drop for a second.

talk about the digital footprint.

the brunette's arms dropped to her side in sudden disbelief. she figured this round of costumes would be a bit more unique and different, though, this was as unique as it got and with how significant it was for the actual song - there was no avoiding her fate. "i truly can't believe i will have to talk about this exact moment when we all debut. we'll never live this down." dramatically, yes, but every word that came out was true.

"do you think we get to pick out which outfit we want? that would at least allow me to not feel so burned."

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

angel of mine  ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱  

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

lili speaks with an ease of someone who didn’t care of the eyes on her — then again, when had people looking at her ever mattered?

in fact, for lili, it was always the more — the merrier. 

she basked in the idea of eyes on her, whether or not, it was deserved. lili was vain, ambitious and had the cut-shit guts to get what she wanted— this she knew. and it was this same thirst and vanity that she saw in spades in jieun — maybe that was why it bit into the very envious tremble that she kept at bay beneath her smile. 

“oh but of course — we all know how some actress can be so, so high and mighty. primadonnas.” the words dance along a line of dismissiveness but her smile speaks otherwise, directed to jieun in a way only lili knew the other would recognize. like a snake as it slithered up to your throat, coiling tight in between words that could have been passed off as nothing. 

( except coming from lili — it was never really nothing ) 

“you guys have that saying right — the more a diva fusses, the more they try to compensate for their … shortcomings, is it?” she feigns the slightest uncertainty — as if her lack of korean fluency would tangle her words. “but you don’t have that problem, though — you’re always so well taken care of.” 

old vices are hard to relinquish, even when she has become a better person and is on her best behavior on the set. it's that same space that makes her wary of the friendly grins that would easily pull the rug out from under her.

it doesn't help she is there too, in a habitat that jieun judged natural only to her and her fellow actors, staff and production team, mingling around the people she tried so hard to impress and to make see her in a good light. especially now.

so even if the conversation a few steps from her is irrelevant and she's busy reading the script by herself as she waits for the next scene, jieun is somewhat alert. enough for the scoffs and good samaritan masquerade not to go unnoticed, but she doesn't look up to check who they are talking about. she doesn't even need to, because it only takes a couple of seconds for one of the managers to kindly offer her a cup of iced coffee.

"oh? you're a lifesaver! thank you manager-nim," she smiles genuinely as she takes the coffee and the man runs somewhere else, probably after another actor he had to take care of ( he wasn't even her manager ). the actress turns to face lili and flashes a smile at the girl, sipping her drink.

the subtle implications that jieun is making his life hard or abusing her power hit a nerve — not that it was hard to rub her the wrong way. jieun was guilty of many sins, but she never mistreated her staff or co-stars as her work and everyone in it were important to her. but, right now, she can only swallow her annoyance and do what she does best: acting.

"oh yeah, he is always in a hurry but is very attentive... it's not easy to look after so many of us," she points out with a grin, keeping it safe in case anyone eavesdrops. "it's a relief to know there are so many people looking after them too. you know how rude some celebrities can be..."

XU LILI '01 / B. BEIJING, RAISED IN LA .

hellooooooo ~ this is nini again with a second character who's definitely a whole 180 approach from jino lol. took me a while to get an intro up because end of the year things kept me busy ! and i was also still trying to figure out how best to explain little miss lili here ~ but nevertheless, we're here now and down below you can get a good idea of this gal who is both bite and bark and will very much prove it !!! but i promise she can be nice even if it comes off haughty and self-serving so please like if you'd like to plot ♡

TL;DR signed jul. 2020, female senior morning group, female dorm a; self-serving, self-absorbed and overly self-concious? yet deep, deep, deep down she has a heart of gold? just got to dig deep enough underneath all her generational trauma lol

BACKGROUND

born li yifei, her name was legally changed to xu yifei when she got adopted by her grandmother / it was further changed when she gained dual citizenship through her grandmother when she moved her to los angeles -> now she goes by xu lili

her parents were a love that burned hot but burned out fast kind of relationship

also didn't help that her dad and mom were from starkly different social brackets that when her grandmother strongly opposed the marriage, her mother got disowned and left to be with her husband

but when the marriage ultimately fell apart, in a last ditch effort, they had lili

for a while it worked until the pains of motherhood, marriage and poverty got too much and when she turned 5, her parents divorced: her mother got her and her father got his freedom back — apparently that meant never seeing lili again, too

a year after her divorce, her mother met a new man (richer, older) and started a new family alongside that man’s children from a prev. marriage. by the time she was 7, lili was brought back to her grandmother’s and like her father, that would be the last she’d see of her mother

being adopted by her grandmother was a start to a new life, adapting to a new environment and learning that love wasn’t just given: it was earned

her grandmother was the owner of a real estate investment / development group; a woman of high expectations and most of all, showed love like how she did business: she expected results in return for her nurture

in the case of lili: her grandmother enrolled her into all the best programs, nurtured her love for performing, and expected the excellence that proceeded from the investment

but excellence can only go so far with natural talent, lili had the talent but in comparison to her peers, she didn’t have the it needed to take her far, something she learns when she receives no offers to continue her ballet career

( 2017 ) instead, she looks elsewhere to continue her love, to find adoration elsewhere is null when her grandmother is pressuring her for results: she auditions for a company in la and passes; suddenly she’s on a flight to korea and training to debut in a girl group of some unknown company

just when she was about to debut, her grandmother ends up sick and she went home when she was supposed to be practicing/preparing for debut

( 2020 ) she ends up getting dropped from the debut lineup upon return (and still has the audacity to be sad about it) ~

she joins lgc in jul. 2020 after getting dropped from debut and consequently the label

TIDBITS

much prefers to be called lili

was quiet and withdrawn as a kid because of her parental troubles, only was able to really fully express herself through performing

because of that she was able to come out of her shell, however, it was falsified by the desperate need of validation and her inherent ego that waged a war with her insecurities 

has imposter syndrome, so she on the low sabotages herself

such as when she was supposed to debut, she knew what was at stake but still left -> her grandmother didn’t even appreciate her visiting when she was sick, instead she was told to go back to korea and finish what she started

headstrong and stubborn, her grandmother had brought her up to say what was on her mind and not care about others -> it only made her selfish and self-serving

a bit of a tsundere, if you squint but i swear it’s there, she’s not used to people being overly affectionate to her and is very rarely affectionate; will be the one to give an awkward shoulder pat when comforting

honestly because of her parents she doesn't believe in love, thinks it's superficial, thinks lust is also dumb but what can a girl do when she has needs 💅 might also think she's hard to love / doesn't deserve it because of her trauma from her parents and her grandmother

is 100% right, always, even when she is 100% wrong — will argue why she’s right

she likes being as she says ~ playful ~ and riling people up and causing friction, call it what you will but i think it’s the attention-seeker in her thinking that even if she can’t get people to like her, if they’re irritated, that means they have to be thinking about her still? right ???

ambitious to a fault, she will do what she needs to do to get where she wants to, even if that means burning some bridges

her grandmother had taught her to learn to control her emotions, but what can we say, she’s an open book and if she’s not on a default rbf — she’s giving face

v relationship phobe - more or less will keep one at arms’ length; the type to make you think you’re close but you don’t really know much about her 

will get out of everything and anything but saying she doesn’t speak korean / can’t understand what you’re saying

does not like pity, will not stand to be pitied

smokes like a chimney, we know its bad !!! but girl is stressed !!! and when she’s stressed !! she smokes !!

vain, superficial and far too outgoing and confrontational for her own good (can’t be me lmfao) and will 100% tell you what’s on her mind without prompt

she is an enabler, she will enable you 100% to make bad choices

she only cares about her grandmother really because it’s her validation she seeks the most but lbr she seeks validation everywhere in everyone and that’s kind of her ruin because she also has foot in her mouth syndrome and a temper 😵‍💫

PLOT HOLES

⤷  honestly give me everything ! we want drama, friction ! friends who try to dip deep, friends who make her angry ! friends who are obviously surface friends but want to be more ! friends who care but are annoyed with lili's aloof attitude ! friends who are no longer friends ! rivals !!!!! i'll take everything and anything anyone comes up with

NOTE

⤷   also i should have her profile with a proper bio finished soon ~ sorry about that xx

“wishful thinking.” lili says, because the horror that maylin had wished would not happen — comes sliding right in on a silver cart. presented in a decadent array of vibrant colors were the cherry on top to an already embarrassing ensemble. in a way, if this had been circa met gala 2019, lili would have passed it off as camp — perhaps avant garde. but this was neither 2019 nor the met gala.

and it was obvious, this type of dress that had been all the rage for the time it had been in should have stayed there.

“god, i really should not have eaten that salmon skin roll for lunch.” 

it surely had come back to bite her in the ass — or more specifically, in the form of attire she was to grace national televisions in the upcoming weeks ahead. sigh, the things she did for fame. 

“i love sushi as much as the next person, but i’m not lady gaga — i don’t want to wear what i eat.” 

siren.

this had to be some kind of karma put onto maylin for all her days of complaining and teasing the innocent.

there was no other explanation as to why she was standing here wearing - well, she knew the day would come when the songs were announced for the senior trainees. it was popular during its release date and resurfaced recently in the charts. she's seen many people perform it in the past, and all of them wore the sushi on top of their heads with a smile on their faces.

and she had no choice but to smile as well, while her eyes were dead to the world and regretting every second.

with dress rehearsals and fittings hitting them all like a wave, maylin showed up in her usual black and neutral attire as she waited for her turn. when she spotted a familiar face, she immediately went over to @lgclili and linked their arms. "please tell me i'm not the only one gagging at the thought of wearing a certain outfit." she whispered, speaking in Cantonese. "maybe they'll spare us all and we only get the dress, or something completely different. i simply can't accept our fates here."

the delusions, that's all her mind was filled with at this point.

໒꒱ . TRAINEE MISSION # 15 、

round and round it goes.

where it stops — no one knows. 

she pulls the string once more, ricocheting the top into the floor. the clatter it makes as it hits the ground does not strip her from her reverie, irises hypnotized by the spin and pull of the game. finally a game that she had a knack at — that didn’t require her to think or to do or to ace at the first go. all it took was a pull of the twine and the top would fall apart from her fingertips. ready to split the ground beneath it as it run amok around them. 

and run it does, running in circles from point a to point z. never in the same place, its center of gravity teetering fast until it tilts a little too far on one side, collapsing upon itself as it topples. a pause in the game as she snatches it up to start all over again. 

again, it’ll spin round and round.

where it stops — her eyes will go.

follow it until the end, like an expectant child would to a mother.

or like what she believes an expectant child would do in the presence of one it fawned over. lili would no know better. like the top, she finds herself spinning and spinning — fast and furious through the lanes of people, around people, through people, continuing on until her own center of gravity tilts — and she stops, 

all to begin again.

because like a top, lili finds herself adjusting — forcing herself to acclimate to places unfamiliar, submerging head first into a game she doesn’t know, but must learn in order to survive. 

like a top, she’ll spin — spin and spin because she’s at the mercy of someone else.

the top pivots at the will of her pull, like she bends for the validation of others. begging for acceptance, vying for a win amongst the multitude of losses just stacked against her. 

fingers pull at the string once more.

and again, she’ll spin — spin, spin.

round and round, it goes.

where she’ll stop? no one knows. 

BLACK WIDOW. lili makes a passing observation, unfortunately it's about jieun ; black banquet filming site — @lgcjieun

lili wasn’t a superstitious person — because coincidences could very well be just that — coincidences. and maybe it was just lili overthinking — or maybe, just maybe, it was the devil working her magic.

or worse yet — maybe it was jieun being in absolute close proximity that was driving lili up the wall.

( read: yes, it was 100%, absolutely, quadruply that )

like now for instance:

from a distance, lili had been fine. mingling with the other extras hadn’t been hard — they were friendly enough, seojin was here somewhere and then he wasn’t ( but this wasn’t about him ) — she was minding her own damn business, still sipping on the coffee she had gotten from hyunsoo’s coffee truck when from the corner of her eye she spots jieun’s manager running about like their head had been cut off.

enough that the sight had been picked up by not just she, but the others around her. each one, of note, murmuring their amusement while lili — while amused — couldn’t help but feel that aftertaste of envy under her iced americano. ugh, how unsightly. 

they weren’t too far from where jieun — a near shoulder or two apart, really — not that it mattered, as lili recounts her mere observation to any willing ear. 

“god, that poor manager, one paycheck away from being her slave.” she says to bumbling fools and nodding heads, a scattered agreement that turns to silence when the manager in question comes to a stop in front of them with jieun’s coffee and the realization of who they were gossiping about had been beside them all along. the quieted gasps turn to quickened steps as they make their escape, leaving jieun and lili to more than just rubbing shoulders and iced coffees.

“oh, jieun. didn’t see you there, seems like your manager was able to find you right away though. thank god, he was looking for you everywhere.” poor him, lili thinks.

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

soaking up the springtime sunshine

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

“oh, thank god.” she says under her breath at the sight of minkyu. relief floods her senses while a smile breaks onto her face; if there was ever a time for lili to be thankful — maybe it would be now. 

finding out it was minkyu who had been selected as her secret date for the afternoon was a blessing in disguise. lili wouldn’t say she was an introverted personality, however, she is someone who did not take kindly to strangers well. something about her resting bitch face and her overly prickly personality seemed to deter people and lili could never quite understand it. 

( couldn’t or wouldn’t — )

she is, nonetheless, at a loss for words as he comes her way. her finger immediately going to the kuromi plushie with a tease on her tongue and a smile already riding her lips — the nerves she had felt just minutes prior already a thing of the past. the cameras a figment of her imagination as she stops in front of minkyu with a laugh. “what — no way, i should have known this was yours! if i knew i would have chosen my melody instead of this.” she takes the snake with a small shake, “did you guess it right, though? tell me, who did you think you were going to meet today? i’m all ears.” 

she had chosen the snake to represent her chinese zodiac, other than that she hadn’t really put too much thought into the secret item. 

“i’m so glad it’s you, though. i feel like i’ll have a fun time today.” which, honest to god, lili finds herself not lying about — if it had been anyone else, she wonders how much of herself she could show before finding herself retreating into the shell she knew others would gravitate towards. with minkyu, lili knew she didn’t need to try as hard. like she said: blessing in disguise.

"can you guess what we'll be doing today? hm, hm." if it wasn't already obvious with all the kites flying overhead.

Appearing on a dating show should, in theory, leave Minkyu feeling at least a tad jittery, perhaps a touch anxious. Yet, all he exudes is the confidence of a leading character in a romantic anime–it's like a dream come true for him to be at the heart of a romance-themed scenario, his favourite genre, even if the whole affair is staged and far from reality.

Undeterred, he's styled his hair into that signature side part and wears a boyish grin on his lips as he strides towards the designated spot, brightly coloured kites adorning the sky.

"I wonder what the date idea is," he muses aloud, mindful of the ongoing filming–after all, the viewers can't tune into his inner thoughts unless he vocalises them. Running a hand through his carefully styled locks, he scans the area and spots the jellycat snake he's been instructed to seek out, just ahead.

And when his eyes lift to meet the owner's face, his own expression lights up instantly; it's a genuine reaction, devoid of any pretense or scripting, as he hoists the Kuromi plushie and waves at his designated date partner as he approaches her.

"Lilissi!" he calls out, adding the honorific for the sake of public television. "Wow, I can't believe it. You're really my date partner!" His words spill out with genuine excitement, pausing briefly as he stands before her, holding up his item. "I bet you didn't expect me to be yours, huh?"