Via Radiantsomatics

Very much okay and it’s also okay to be uncertain about it from time to time, there are no rule books anyways

On the floor of my room, curled up as far as my hips will allow, wondering if in a years time I would be in a different place were everything worked out, were everything came together so beautifully, so when I look back in my minds eye and I see my self on the floor of my room, trying to hold it all together, I might in that moment think of this moment as resilience

Is it worth it?

The efforts we put in, to be with another human,

I would say yes, because love holds up a mirror to your face and you get a chance to see your self differently.

But is it worth it?

To feel truly loved by another is the most profound feeling we can experience

But is it worth it?

Yes, because the gain and the loss of love is the truest evidence of our humanity

Love is worth it

Monday

Monday feels different these days, not anxious about the work I am doing or not wanting to do the work, I am doing.

I love what I do, I am happy I get to do this, but it also has its drawbacks, like, when will I get my invoices paid, will I find another opportunity to keep me fed and kept?

And so the anxiety is now about surviving, not the work and in some ways it feels like such a vicious cycle

From the beginning

It never was

I was never the one

I ain’t even in the running

Sometimes we fall into the in between

A neither here or there situation

It might seem familiar but there are no guidelines

It’s like groping in the dark for a version of something that might or might not exist

Hearts breaking, thoughts spiraling

How do you navigate a path that has never been crossed

I miss my lover

I miss the way they laugh, that rings across the room

I miss the way they call to me, which is so specific to them

I miss their quiet presence, with no pretense just them sitting comfortably in their skin,

I miss my lover and the way they bring me food even when i am upset, but

I do not miss the long arguments, the feeling of being unheard or unseen, i do not miss constantly making space for them to expand to exist

With no space for me to be sometimes, i do not miss being a the center of someone else's world or the long winded understanding it requires to love another person

In the space of longing after all is said and done at the core of it all, I miss my lover because love is rarely perfect

Hi there

I hope it hurts a little less today.

Watching another grieve

You almost want to cut a little bit of the sadness and hold it on their behalf

But you can’t, you can only sit with them, hold them,

Try to pour all the love you can muster into them and hope the sadness doesn’t swallow them whole

An aerial view of one of the busiest cities in West Africa, Lagos, Nigeria

Photographed by Wale Adebisi [@waleadebisiphotography]