“I’ll Never Cry In Front Of You. I’ll Never Tell You How I Feel. I’ll Never Wear My Heart On

A letter I’ll never send…

I love you. You are my best friend and I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And each day I continue to fall more in love with you, the more I realize how you’re slowly pulling away. But it’s because you don’t love me the way I love you. Because I am not her. You don’t love me the way you loved her. You gave her the random “I love you” texts and the endless phone calls because you missed her voice. You posted her on Instagram and surprised her with flowers when you knew she was having a bad day. You weren’t hesitant to show your love and hold her when she needed it. I want that. You tell me you just never want to fall that hard for someone again because it was unhealthy, but I know it’s because I’m not her. I want the endless phone calls and random “I love you” texts. I want to be surprised with flowers and be held when I’m having a bad day. I want more than anything to be her. Because you are my him. You are the one I will never forget, you are the one that everyone else will be compared to. In my eyes, you are my everything. But in your eyes, I’m just temporary.

“I only want two things in this world. I want you and I want us.”

—

“i’m not going to pretend that you weren’t a huge part of my life, because you were. you were the biggest part of my life. regardless of what may happen in the future, where our paths take us, or who we become, i think a little part of me will always wish it was you next to me.”

— maybe in another life 

“I’m addicted to you. I’m not sure what it is but you keep me sane. You manage to silence my demons. You know me. Every single time something is up, you know. No matter how high my walls are, you see through. I can’t hide myself from you because you know me. You know me and that scares me. I’m addicted to you and maybe it’s because for the first time someone actually knows me. I can’t fake a single smile no matter how hard I try because you know me. You’re my addiction and I don’t know how to stop it. You know me so even if I try to let you go you would know, so I guess… Don’t let me go because I need you, but it’s not just that… just like you know me, I know you. I know you just as well as you know me, and I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing.”

— 12:14 AM thoughts

“I want him but I’m frightened to want him. I don’t want my happiness to be entirely dependent on somebody else’s, to be a hostage to fortunes I cannot control.”

—

Jojo Moyes (Me After You)

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““I just laugh now when I think about you and me, because it’s funny how I even let you get that close to me.””

— - wasted years

“I’m afraid to love you. I’m afraid that you’ll leave and that I’ll go back to being alone again. Only it will be a hundred times worse because I’ll know what I’m missing. …I want to be able to love you more than I fear losing you, and I don’t know how. Teach me… Please teach me. Don’t let me destroy this.”

— Mia Sheridan

I needed a hug. I needed to cry on someone else’s lap. I needed someone to shrug off all this hate and pain consuming me. But I only had myself. And I was never enough.

“This is how it has always been with me. Give me something good, I’ll destroy it. Love me, I’ll destroy you. I have never felt deserving of anything in my life.”

— James Frey, A Million Little Pieces