The Saddest Word

“You are what I have been waiting for, the person I should have been with. But I stop myself from having feelings. I stop myself from thinking we have something special. Because not only do I not want to lose you, but I don’t want to lose myself again.”

— not for another heartbreak.

“I only want two things in this world. I want you and I want us.”

—

I really miss having you around. Waking up was bliss and falling asleep was heaven. Either way, you were there.

What do I do?

I needed a hug. I needed to cry on someone else’s lap. I needed someone to shrug off all this hate and pain consuming me. But I only had myself. And I was never enough.

“I am a cold love I kiss the way you like it but I never close my eyes when you put your hands around my waist I’ll tell you how much I need you when you’re too tired to remember how warm the words feel when they hit you I’ll wrap my arms around you at night but you’ll wake up alone in the morning call me cold hearted but I can’t wake up next to you and memorize your smile or the way your hand feels against my cheek when it’s only you, me, and the sunrise You’re fleeting and you know it Don’t fool yourself into believing we’re more than one snapshot in a set of millions I’m always going to leave you in the morning one day you’ll thank me for it”

— Commitment Issues (pt 3)

A letter I’ll never send…

I love you. You are my best friend and I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And each day I continue to fall more in love with you, the more I realize how you’re slowly pulling away. But it’s because you don’t love me the way I love you. Because I am not her. You don’t love me the way you loved her. You gave her the random “I love you” texts and the endless phone calls because you missed her voice. You posted her on Instagram and surprised her with flowers when you knew she was having a bad day. You weren’t hesitant to show your love and hold her when she needed it. I want that. You tell me you just never want to fall that hard for someone again because it was unhealthy, but I know it’s because I’m not her. I want the endless phone calls and random “I love you” texts. I want to be surprised with flowers and be held when I’m having a bad day. I want more than anything to be her. Because you are my him. You are the one I will never forget, you are the one that everyone else will be compared to. In my eyes, you are my everything. But in your eyes, I’m just temporary.

no matter what i do, I still ache. I still yearn for your touch, and every time i wake up I pray that it was all a bad dream - but im faced with the awful, painful, gut wrenching reality that: it isn’t a dream. it’s all real and you don’t love me anymore.

“I’m addicted to you. I’m not sure what it is but you keep me sane. You manage to silence my demons. You know me. Every single time something is up, you know. No matter how high my walls are, you see through. I can’t hide myself from you because you know me. You know me and that scares me. I’m addicted to you and maybe it’s because for the first time someone actually knows me. I can’t fake a single smile no matter how hard I try because you know me. You’re my addiction and I don’t know how to stop it. You know me so even if I try to let you go you would know, so I guess… Don’t let me go because I need you, but it’s not just that… just like you know me, I know you. I know you just as well as you know me, and I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing.”

— 12:14 AM thoughts

“maybe the universe didn’t want us together, but i sure as hell did”

— but we can’t always get what we want, can we?

Meet The Moon Signs Part 2

{Part 1}

Libra Moon

Derives cynicism based on lack of optimism

Most likely born into a family with strong opinions and judgment

Is a true poetic and romantic

Sometimes they fear emotional expression

There’s never an opportunity missed where their opinion wasn’t viewed

Has a great sense of defensiveness (based on past lives)

Other’s are naturally drawn to those people with Moon in Libra just by how in-touch they are with fairness and the artistry of the heart

Has a hard time finding themselves when in a rut

Will find the beauty in everyone

Will daydream a lot

Scorpio Moon

Might have grown up with a bad relationship with their parents

Is the most secretive person you’ll ever meet

Deep need for a soulmate

Experiences deep emotions (based on past life experiences)

Has a tendency to suppress their anger (also past life experiences)

May have experienced isolation as a child

Is meticulous

People are naturally drawn by the mystery of their presence

Sagittarius Moon

Sometimes lacks control

Naturally empathetic

Has a fear of commitment

Always a need to expand

Makes the best out of every situation

Has a spirtual connection to nature

May speak for others based on their bluntness

Fears the cage of expectations

Capricorn Moon

Can be super moody

Got along with their father growing up

They may have grown up in a home with lack of fun or grew up parenting themselves

They compete with themselves

They’re good at controlling their emotions

They hold many emotions to themselves which can lead to illnesses (based on past lives)

Can hide their emotions through sarcasm

Must have control in any situation (based on past lives)

Are very knowledgeable

Aquarius Moon

Most likely to be popular

Will always question you

Will think they know almost everything about you

Will build up emotions

Always feeling like they need approval from others

Emotional stability is dependent (based on past lives)

Has stubborn opinions

Gets abstracted from their own emotions

May have a large family

Oversees emotional needs from self and others

Good with a circle of people

Has a talent for diversity and leadership

Always sees the bigger picture

Most likely the only extrovert to recharge themselves alone

Pisces Moon

You’ll never get anything personal out of them

The best healers

Can be very religious

Can be pretentious

Most likely has had a hard time with food or nutrition (based on past lives)

Has a hard time understanding their own emotions

Every little thing effects their mood

They intuitively feel other people’s pain

Good at reading emotions

Has a great charm

Is most likely psychic

Good at reading people’s energies

Great at perception

Has a great imagination but harsh perfection of idealism