I Have So Much I Have Yet To Upload, Too Depressed, See No Point In Uploading My Art Honestly. But Yeah,

I haven't much to post because of tedious painting 8) I got a laptop recently but havent felt like investing time in drawing on it yet.

Birthday gift for my mom tomorrow. Rarely draw traditionally but it is nice to do once in awhile.

Sucks having zero friends, "cliques", "squads", etc. To where you consider seeing a person you know for less than a min. Hanging out with someone. Literally having no ability to do anything "normally" enjoyable in life...feeling bad because you know feeling bad makes others feel bad for not being there, which makes endless guilt on all sides possibly. My daily entertainment and feeling of purpose is Litterally me just sitting at my desk all day drawing or art-ing in general. Other than that....youtube and Steven Universe, sleep, avoidance.

I haven’t done this in a few years but I finally have a sort of price list together, I’m just doing bust-shots for now, but If you are looking for anything else, please ask, I don’t mind discussing it. c:

(this is just where you get the digital files, no physical copy.)

I will draw: people, armor, robo/mechs, anthro, creatures. Payment required before I start, through paypal, (I send invoice first) any questions, just ask.

I won’t draw: ask for now.

I desperately need money, I can’t afford food (I have celiac disease), barely bills and rent as well as financial abuse from our roommate(my dad), I cannot work, I also cannot get ssi and such so stuck in an awkward place. My husband and I are forced to move in a month and a half but have no money saved and am going to lose most of my things and my cats, my husband is so stressed because of my dad and my lack of work that he is threatening to break the lease because we have no food or money for food, he doesn’t get paid until next thursday, I am unable to leave the house by myself without having severe breakdowns and he always gets off too late to do anything else himself. (I am literally stuck in this situation with no other options I’M capable of doing. But I have always planned on selling my art, I just need to do what I can right now) I’ll make a better price list eventually that is more than jist bustshots, I just want to be able to do as much as I can in a timely matter for both sides while testing the waters after all these years If that makes sense.

Thank you so much if you read this.

(Posting so much later then intended)

I might relupoad it…even though i tried with another thing and failed multiple times cause the quality messed up, so might see me as spamming, idk.

owo

I *need* to start taking commissions but heck, I don't even know if anyone actively follows me still. I haven't really posted, I have barely had the motivation to post anywhere really. I've made a lot of art though, just haven't posted...idk.

Last submission I made. Is there a no logo thing? I didn't have the slightest idea until I initially submitted, I didn't see it in the initial rules of the contest (I read over it multiple times and am scared I overlooked it.) and I was posting extremely last minute to where I started panicking because Tumblr was erroring like crazy I was worrying I wasn't going to make it.

(My reasons for being so late is because I have literally used every minute I could to work on these and I was putting as much as I could into all of these submissions.) I thought it would be odd if the titlecards had nothing pointing out which game they were supposed to be from. I seen earlier submissions with them so I thought nothing of it either.

I have never submitted anything on Tumblr ever, I actually had to find out where it was.

I hope this is okay, I vectored the "uno" and "cards against humanity" I honestly couldn't hand draw those in time either (I did want to but time was getting low.)

I really apologize if anything possibly breaks the rules for the contest or rules in general.

Submission 4, last entry I finished.

This is for Uno maybe took fiveish hours?

I kept thinking of this sorta scene while watching Minx play Uno, I love how vibrant that game is.

I am highly interested in the paid position as well, 24 years old, US.

(I just realized, I’m not sure if I forgot to tag my last submission.)

I probably won't be uploading many drawings at all, or any in general (unless it's from a Sketchbook and/or has to do with sculpture concepts.) I'm not satisfied with my art, not with my speed mainly, or with how I go about things. I'm just going to be doing sculpts and stuff for awhile as it has been the past few months c: I won't lie, I feel highly discouraged when it comes to drawing, for many reasons. Oh, also my computer isn't doing so well (it's internal fan doesn't work as well as our USB fans died so I can't be on the computer longer than five minutes without heating up badly and freezing badly.)

I need to maybe say this, please read if possible.

I’ve seen plenty of posts saying “if you like to art you should be happy just sharing it rather than wanting notes, unless you want to get paid for it” or things around those lines.

Well honestly, I love doing art, I enjoy people seeing what I do, I enjoy doing it in general, but even since I thought “if I keep trying I could be an artist and make some sort of living out of it” I’ve always wanted to be paid for what I do, not only because it’s kind of a dream of mine but also because I actually NEED it now, well for a few years I’ve needed it, I can’t work physically, out in the open, etc. I promise you, I am unable to do anything in RL, it made me realize I am really not able to do anything, I have too many limitations, I’ve graduated HS even if I was there a few more years than planned, I’ve never had a job, not even babysitting, the reason why I didn’t graduate on time is because I couldn’t bring myself to go to school most of the time, as well as If the bell rang before I got to a class, I could never go to a class, that’s how bad my anxiety is, how all my problems are, I can’t even speak up to clerks, judges, anything, no matter how bad the situation. I’m always told “well once it gets bad enough you’re gonna have to bring yourself to do it” IT DOESN”T WORK THAT WAY, not for me, I wish it would, it makes me feel even more like a failure knowing I can’t do it. I won’t magically be able to do something just because the circumstances get worse, if anything that would make things harder for me. That’s another reason why I try to believe in what I do when it comes to art, it’s the only thing I’ve been “open” about, the only thing, ONLY thing I’ve ever been confident about, which makes it worse that I know I’m not well known, I’ve never been successful with it, especially not in a memorable way. I’ve had random one shot things that I’ve never been paid for, winning design on an anime store logo, getting into an art gallery, but not much else. I NEVER leave my house, I don’t have any friends, so it would also be good since all my time is dedicated to art, I’d be able to have a full time job doing this. I am always balancing on “my art sucks, not because my skills suck but because what I do isn’t memorable or I don’t pump things out fast enough.” and “I’m good, right? why am I not getting any attention?” I know most people don’t like when people have mindsets like this, well people who are open about it. So, since I, myself do want to get commission work and sell what I do, am I allowed to want attention? Should I actually try to get attention? I try my best not to because of how frail my mind is, anything breaks me, and hey it sucks, I try not to get attention due to being afraid of people me things like stop asking for attention, or people who want to hate on you just to do it, I already have enough at that as it is. I really need it though, I’m homeless now, no money, no place to go, no nothing, I’m scared. Even right now my mind is saying “I’m a failure” over and over again, though I try to think “everything will be okay, you just need to keep trying” but then it switches to “you’re not good enough, nobody likes you, stop trying already you aren’t good enough to be more than you are now.” I hope someone reads this..