I’m really scared that I’m becoming an unlikable person as I unmask. I’m more blunt, I talk more, I advocate for myself more and I’m perceived as argumentative when I’m just trying to offer my thoughts/ explain myself. I make sure not to actively be an asshole, so it’s really more just my tone and the social norms that shouldn’t really matter.
I see people give me looks of annoyance when I speak. The exasperation when I finally work up the courage to actually ask a question.
It’s really freeing to not have to think so hard about my every breath or word in social settings but I still really want people to like me. I guess I need to accept that not everyone will, that’s just how it is, but it makes things hard because then those people will treat you shitty.
And then I wonder… is it just my fault? Maybe I should go back to masking. Maybe it’s not worth it to ‘be myself’ or whatever if it will bring ridicule. Even though there’s that crushing, continuous weight that comes from having to conceal parts of myself, maybe I need to just deal with that so I can get along with others.
But I’m also not sure that I COULD go back now.
i just saw a post on reddit titled "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" and it was about OP clicking off a fic because they don't like the direction it's going in. slightly different context but can we all be more like this reddit OP. i think "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" should be the new "don't like don't read." dead doves may give you diarrhea but don't make that everyone else's problem.
something abt having subpar-but-not-shitty parents is that yes i trust these people to keep me alive but safe???? they wont even believe im in danger. sometimes they are the danger. they used to be. its like im in limbo.
I simply don't think that's true eBooks.com but thank you anyway
*pelican voice* put girl in lap. lap safe place for girl, comfy, perfect shape for girl to sit. put girl in lap. nothing bad happen to girl in lap. please.
cracks knuckles. we're doing this again because the,,,1-2 years ago when i made my last one is very inaccurate now
GENERAL/BASIC INFO
My main name is Felix but Ruix or Robin work as well. My pronouns are he/it but I don't particularly mind they/them or she/her. He/him and it/its are just my preferred pair. I live in Canada, which, in terms of pop culture and [most] slang, is pretty much the same as the US.
INTERESTS
These change all the time, this is still the same. Please do not follow me for a singular fandom as it is unlikely that I'll continuously post for it. I get fixated on something for a little bit and then move on, though somewhat steady fandoms have been the Riordanverse [specifically the mythologies series' and spin-offs] and Genshin Impact. My own PJO inspired OCs are my main interests, however.
CONTENT
Mainly shitposts about my current interest(s), and if I feel confident enough, oneshots about a character or pairing that I enjoy. Reblogs of random things that I enjoy will be scattered throughout, but I generally try to keep those to my sideblogs [which are not yet properly set up but I'll get to them. Eventually]. I might do miscellaneous writing prompts and post them here. Quality is absolutely not guaranteed because most internet things I do are for fun and not serious at all.
TAGS
I use the most commonly used/accepted fandom tags for pairings, characters, and everything else. For my own, I'll use #reblog for reblogs, obviously, and #og ruix for any original posts of mine. I...will try to remember to put the date in the tags, in the #DD/MM/YYYY format. Other than that, I will be tagging trigger warnings for things such as: substances [illegal or legal], depictions of violence/death, flashing lights or eyestrain, etc. I will NOT be tagging for swearing.
Jan De Vliegher (Belgian, b. 1964), Pigeons 2, 2010. Oil on canvas, 60 x 90 cm.