Just Saw A Body Check Of My Stomach From The Morning Before The Binge Episode I Was So Skinny I’m Going

After a particularity gruelling binge last night, I am as of now officially back up to my highest weight of 57kg. A month and a half of restricting, almost 7 whole kg lost, all gained back in the span of 6 days. This feels like a nightmare that I just want to wake up from, I want it all to stop but it won’t. Im in so much pain, I just to purge it all out but I can’t because barely anything comes out when I try to make myself vomit and I have to wait until tonight to take any laxatives because I don’t want to risk shitting myself at work. I feel so alone, I just want this all to end. I dont want to lose my friends but I can’t control myself around them, not like I used to be able too. I can’t take another week of this constant binging because I’m hanging out with them every single fucking day. I just can’t do this, I don’t know what to do.

I binged again, to no ones surprise. I’m such a failure, not just at this but at everything in my life, this is just making me realise that more than I usually would I guess. I don’t think fasting is gonna work out for me, I have too much of a mental block from it right now so I think I’ll just go back to 400 cals a day and progressively increase the intermittent fasting hours if that makes sense. I don’t even know, I’m just itching for some sort of control, a way to prove to myself that I can do something right.

Binging has set me back so much, I’m all the way back up to basically 54kg and my mindset and discipline has crumbled. If I hadn’t binged I would be underweight and would have gotten more than 20k steps by now but alas it’s 4:30pm and I just started walking, and my endurance and motivation has gone to shit so I’ll probably only get 10k steps at best.

I know sulking won’t get me anywhere, and I’m getting back on track but it’s just so hard to deal with.

BMI 17.4 but I look the same if not fatter than I did at BMI 19 when will this suffering end 😔

Just weighed myself for the first time since Sunday and apparently I weigh 0.1kg less than I did before I binged. Honestly I think my scale might be broken, or skinny fat has just got me in a crazy chokehold because I look way too fat to be BMI 16.3

I want to up my intake to 800 a couple days a week so I can speed up my metabolism and get more protein in but I did it today and I feel horrible and out of control and like I’m going to gain so much weight. I don’t know how or if I’m going to be able to do it to be honest, and even worse, I’m having a big sleepover with my friends this weekend and I’m sure there will be so much food. I want to cry, I can’t do this, why can’t this weight just get the fuck off of me already.

Hello !!

Does anyone know how many calories would be in 1 slice of this sourdough? I’ve been putting it into lose it as 136 but I’m worried I’m underestimating.

My tight pants feel a little looser than the last time I wore them, even though my fatass binged last night and now I’m all bloated.

And I’m all the way back up to 52.5kg. 4 kg in 4 days. I was literally less than a kg away from my GW, all my hard work down the drain like it never happened.

I’m so disappointed in myself, so so disappointed.

Just broke my fast and I regret it so much, I feel sick why do I do this to myself