Saving These For Later

i microwaved my spaghetti so much that the textures broke

They call me J.R.R Jelqing, on account of me being a big Tolkien fan. Also I can oft be found in my study jelqing just like the old masters.

wizards when they turn out the lights

Channeling the dark arts

bitch you think you’re the shit? you’re not even the shart.

posts like this make my glad i can read

day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing

wearing my big boy pants and my funderwear to my date wish me luck

at in n out listening to this kid explain his gambling technique to his mom rn

currently listening to an irate italian grandma rant to her friends about trip planning while i take the scotrail from inverness to aviemore

Your blog really runs on the logic of unfunny + head/getting head/life changing head = funny. (I think you should check your maths)

when she sends you hate mail <<333

you’re telling me a queer coded this?