| A Little Tomfoolery

Absolute CRACK BatFic Idea:

An AU where Tim knows Batman needs a Robin and discovers (somehow) that Bruce Wayne has a biological son and sets out on a quest to kidnap Damian into become the new Robin.

It’s like “Fine! Dick doesn’t want it and Jason’s dead. If Bruce Wayne needs a son to turn into Robin, I’m going to go get him one!”

Too competent, no awareness Tim Drake (very fandom Tim Drake I know but listen…. It’d be funny!) hacking into the League of Assassin computers (sneaks into the cave during Bruce’s solo patrols to connect his personal laptop to get access to the BatNet) so he can talk to Damian (small boi, very sweet, was never taught internet safety because who the fuck could be talking to him on the LoA’s intranet!) and get his location.

Tim waiting months, befriending Damian the whole time, until Talia takes Damian to one of the Leagues’ European safe houses, all the while promising Damian that he’s his friend and he wants to meet but his mom is too protective.

Tim: you can’t tell her. She’ll make us stop talking.

Damian: but what if I convince her we’re friends?

Tim: hmmm let’s wait until I can see you in person! That way we can convince her together!

Maybe they’re in Paris (it’s always Paris) when Tim meets and admits the reason he’s talking to Damian is because he knows his dad who sent him to bring him home (lie).

“I’m friends with his eldest son,” Tim says, you know… like a liar. (But he did snap a selfie with Dick for this exact purpose because oh holy contingencies Batman. “I can take you to your dad.”

And Damian is unsure and resists but than Tim points out Talia never tells Damian when he’ll get to see his dad. “And isn’t taking initiative something encourages by the LoA, Dami?”

Anyway, Tim gets Damian on that plane fast enough (and with Damian’s help and Tim’s tech savvy sneakily enough) to avoid the ninjas. Until it’s 8 hour later and Tim is knocking on the door (he’d tricked Dick into visiting for the weekend because he knows he’s going to need the older boy to smooth all this over) like “TA-DA! NEW SON ALERT!”

Cue fallout and Dick and Bruce quickly realizing they’ve got two new kids in the house because Talia is going to have to pry sweet baby, naive, adorably arrogant 6 year old Damian from Bruce’s cold dead fingers and also “Oh my god we need to fix this little stalker neighbor boy before he becomes a new rogue.”

(Side Note: this could so easily be a horror fic from limited POV like Damian’s :D where the audience doesn’t know who Damian is talking to while he’s being stalked and eventually kidnapped. Until the end it’s revealed to be Tim who’d have never hurt Damian and actually did bring him to Gotham to meet Bruce!)

So I’m catching up on Batman lore and comics.

I NEED A FANFIC WHERE SOMEONE SITS DOWN AND TELLS JASON THAT BATMAN TRIED TO KILL THE JOKER, ALMOST STARTED A WAR, AND WAS STOPPED BY SUPERMAN.

It drives me insane that the only reason Joker is not in a lead box at the bottom of Gotham Harbor is he somehow magically became the Iranian ambassador (how?!) and the UN hired Superman to stop Batman from causing WW3.

AND NO ONE TELLS JASON!

Oh! I hear you cry, But he saved Joker’s life after Dick beat him to death! Jason deserves to be angry.

OH BULLSHIT!

Dick wasn’t trying to avenging Jason! He almost kills Joker by mistake in a moment of grief and Joker egging him on! Dick literally mourns after he realizes what he’s done, claiming by killing the Joker “Joker won.”

So why would Batman save the Joker? I’ll tell you why. Batman didn’t save the Joker for Joker! Batman saved the Joker to save Dick!

Dick is acting on revenge for the near death of Tim and despite it being Killer Croc who had captured and presumably killed Tim, Dick blames the Joker and goes on a poorly thought out vengeance quest that haunts him even when it doesn’t work. He’s spiraling the minute Tim points out Joker is dead. You really think Bruce couldn’t see the writing on the wall that actually killing someone would destroy Dick and try to minimize the guilt Dick would feel by not letting the Joker die.

His second son is dead. The third was just thought to be dead. Batman isn’t going to sit back and let his oldest kill himself!

(Now you could argue all that I’m saying is fandom rationalizations of weird character choices made by multiple writers over at DC (Disregard Canon). Batman does let Dick walk away in shame after reviving Joker. But if I chose to forget that Bruce PUNCHES Dick after Dick rightfully demands to know why Bruce didn’t try to tell him his brother died before the funeral, I can damn well recontextualize a stupid panel and scrape together a consistent character profile based on the versions of Batman that I like! Fuck you!)

So yes! SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL JASON WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AFTER HE DIED SO HE CAN MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION FOR ONCE!

A feast for kings

I love Dick Grayson! But man I wish they’d kept pre-crisis Dick & Jason’s relationship and let the man age gracefully out of Robin before handing it over to Jason.

Like it makes sense for Jason to cling to Robin and the period of time he was happy and safe before his death.

Just… give us some variety. Stop making Robin this thing the brothers steal from each other. Let them just age out of it!

One day I’ll sell my crafts. But for now I’m glad I finished these!

Break Me (Like a Dream)

Summary:

Fate seems determined to keep throwing them together. Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng have a chance to talk. This fixes some things. Sequel to Listen to the Ocean (Hear it Break)

Ship: ChengQing

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence | Post-Golden Core Reveal | Hurt/Comfort

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/63570229

Excerpt:

Wen Qing says nothing as Jiang Cheng opens her cell door. The slow grind of metal on stone is far too loud in the present silence as if only hours ago she had not heard the screams of her people and the sounds of battle.

“Lady Wen,” he greets, surveying the confines of this cell and stares long and hard at the manacles around her wrist and the array drawn on them. 

Qi sealing arrays. She’d designed them herself for risky surgeries where one’s qi could lash out and hurt the physician or patient. The irony of it all feels like a slap in the face. And was most likely Wen Chao’s intention.

As does his presence here. 

“Sect Leader Jiang,” she echoes like it is enough, like it can encompass everything that lies between them. 

---- Read More ----

I want Damien and Tim to be friends so bad. I want chaotic younger sibling energy team up to make everyone else’s life hell! They both have big gremlin energy and 0 chill and poor understanding of other peoples limits.

Stop being cowards @DC, let Tim and Damien wreak havoc!

If you have fics, pls rec and my life is yours!

A Batman Fanfic Idea:

Tim is a Creature, an answer to a prophecy that spells the doom of the coming universe. On his 18th birthday, the dark blood inside him will rear up to rip away his human facade and all of earth and the many plants known and unknown will be crushed under his heel.

It is a prophecy that has been guarded by the magical community for eons. They know the signs. They know what this doomsday child looks like. The day Timothy Jackson Drake is born, the magical community turns its attention to stopping the prophecy, of sealing the creature away in human flesh and bone.

The problem is that nothing works. Every ritual and spells falls away to fate. It is written. Tim will bring upon the doom of the universe. So what if… they just don’t let him turn 18.

It works for a few years. Messing with time has side effects. People don’t remember but they do? Villains get smarter and tougher. Magic feels less potent as more and more is siphoned of to hold back the flow of time. Mutations occur, ripples in the time stream that twist ally to foe and foe to ally.

(They try to kill him. Three “years” into the whole mess, Tim falls asleep while Bruce and Kon hold his hands. And then he wakes up the next day, a whole day older, in his coffin during his funeral. No one ever mentions it (not enough remember and those that do can’t). The prophecy will not let him die before his time.)

It’s not possible to keep the whole world stuck. Some events can’t be undone. Natural disasters persist even as time doesn’t. Some people age. Some don’t. Damien grows. Dick and Jason and Steph and Cass and Duke and Bruce don’t. For “years” no one notices.

And then Damian is only a year younger than Tim and the inconsistencies become too much to handle. The magic breaks. The spell shatters leaving a gash in the world.

For the first time since his 17th birthday, Tim ages a day. And then a week. A month passes and he can feel his hair growing longer for the first time in six years and has a panic attack.

People start to remember. Bruce goes form 35 to 41 in a week. Dick complain about back problems and aching joints of a 30 year old.

But there is nothing they can do. It was always unsustainable. There’s discussions of trying new ways to kill him, to freeze him. But even a frozen bodies feels time.

His birthday is a countdown.

Damian refuses to give up even as everyone else does.

The whole hero community holds its breath as the last month approaches. They prepare for war.

Tim prepares for death. He makes his peace. He says his goodbyes. He writes letters. It’s like a terminal illness. There’s enough time to say goodbye. There’s not enough time to heal it.

Tim and Kon get married. Kon is 25 now and beautiful. Tim, as always, forever 17. But they won’t have enough time for anything else. The wedding is gorgeous, expensive, a little gaudy. Bruce pours all his energy into planning it. He can’t fix this. There’s nothing he can do to save his son but he can give him two perfect days. It’s beautiful and they record every minute of it.

(Jason is Tim’s best man. It’s funny. Laugh!)

Damian never gives up. He runs to the League, searching the depths of his grandfather’s library. Oh the hero’s asked Ra’s. They scoured the globe for solutions. No knowledge forbidden in an attempt to stop the apocalypse. But there are secrets only family can access, records so lost to time that Ra’s barely remembers them.

He takes Jon (17 and Damian only 16, once again similar in age) with him on the quest, runs himself ragged against mortal and supernatural foes alike. He nearly misses the wedding, surfacing just long enough for a day of family photos and tearful congratulations that do nothing but add to his feverish resolve.

(His family has lost so much, has suffered in ways no family should. He loves them. He aches for them. His brothers and sisters. His aging father. He can’t lose this family when they never got to have enough time.)

He finds a portal to the fea world. The space between dimensions full of holes after six “years” of holding back time. He spends six months within its borders and dances a deadly game of wit with Kings and Queens older than time and returns to the mortal plan to find only 3 days have passed.

He returns to the manor with an untried solution, one he had to pry from the lips of an undying seer trapped within the depths of a catacomb (hard won after outsmarting a face stealer, wondering through an impossible fog, and facing far too many dragons) two days before Tim’s birthday.

The blood ritual is done with all the family present. There is a gash along Damian’s neck that will never stop being angry red, magic always pulsing beneath the skin. But it is worth it to see the hope flare in his family’s eyes.

The solution is deceptively easy and terribly dangerous. You can’t stop fate but you can make it wrong. Tim’s creature blood will rise to the surface on his 18th birthday. But what if it comes a day early. There is a risk that it will all go wrong, that the creature will always ache for blood and death even without fate pulling it along. But, Tim argues, at least then he can die (no one finds this as reassuring as he’d hoped).

Bruce and Kon hold his hands — a parody of that moment three years ago when he fell asleep — and Tim braces for pain. But there is none, just a new taste of magic and the ease of his body morphing. Ears twisting into points, his hair turns feathery and fluffy, pupils spinning into triangles. There is more. Seams along his cheekbones and neck he knows can open into extra mouths and eyes. A tail curling along his spine. His tongue splits at the tip. But his limbs do not twist into anything inhuman (though maybe he could if he tried). And his mind — oh his soul — stays his.

As the clock strikes midnight on Tim’s 18th birthday, nothing happens.

Hey so actually I might be a little obsessed with how Tim is Dick’s only real brother.

Like hear me out. HEAR ME OUT!

Dick’s relationship with Jason is full of regret and guilt. They might be building something now but their past is full of inflicting rotting wounds (metaphorical and often literal) on each other. Dick started the pattern first when he rejected Jason as Robin. And later Jason raging against Dick after his return. Jason’s semi-valid villain crash out ending with Dick putting him in Arkham because Jason was a straight villain pre-rebirth. And even then it takes rebirth remixed canon to allow Jason some family bonding time. I say they have a handful of months — and even then how often did Dick visit! He didn’t start reconnecting with the BatFam until after the Killing Joke and Death in the Family — they got along before shit got worse.

Damian is Dick’s BABY! That is his firstborn! Dick might have had some adoption tendencies pre-crisis with Jason but they realized that shit with Dick’s (Second? Third?) time in the cowl. Dick saw this small murderous child and was like “I can do it better than Bruce” and did. And yes they might be settling into a brotherly role with Bruce stepping the fuck up.* But I promise you having witnessed siblings with a 10 year age gap — even when the parents are perfect and emotionally available — that older sibling quickly becomes a third parent. With Dick, he was the first second and third parent. No way Damian and Dick could ever just be brothers and I love that for them.

So that leaves Tim! The little baby brother he started calling little brother YEARS before Bruce ever adopted Tim.** Timmy, the freak who broke into his apartment to track him down and drag him back to Gotham. Timmy who Dick follows back to Gotham and — through his growing relationship with Tim — reconnects with his second family.

He spent his early 20s with Tim! He comes into his own as Nightwing with Tim as Robin. He literally grows into his adult self with Tim as his witness.

How many lows has Tim helped him pick up after? How many falls has Dick caught Tim after (metaphorically and literally)?

But that’s the sweet sappy shit.

Tim is the one brother Dick doesn’t have to be responsible with. He eats shitty pizza with Tim. He has movie nights and hang outs and poor-tasting inside jokes with Tim. They race each other across rooftops! They play fight in the streets. Dick booby traps his apartment so Tim can have fun breaking in.*** Dick complains about his messy love life to Tim while Tim mocks him!

THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR!

With Jason there is too much pain. With Damian there is too much responsibility. With Tim, Dick gets to be his age and just hangout with his brother!

There is a reason Dick calls Tim his equal. Dick loves his brothers, he’ll always be there for them. But Tim is the one Dick doesn’t have to watch or monitor or hover over. Tim is his brother, not his regret or his child.

20 years in real time and 4 years of comic time put Tim and Dick through the ringer. No Man’s Land. Knightfall. The nuking of Bloodhaven. Contagion. Try to name a tragedy Tim and Dick haven’t witnessed and weathers side by side! But no matter how they fight or have to disappear for the mission, they always find each other and trust each other and believe in each other. Because they are truly brothers!

(So context… I’m very much reading the 90s and 2000s run. I’m like chronologically in 98. I’ve heard modern comics have dropped this FOR SOME FUCKING REASON (they forget Tim exists, I guess). But I refuse to believe that rebirth got rid of their brotherly bond. Just as Tim’s “friendship” with Kon-El transcends timelines so does Dick and Tim’s brotherly bond! They are family bonded through the fires of time and comic book bullshit!)

* How much this is true take with a grain of salt. I’m not reading modern yet. I’ve read some cause Damian just slaps and I love him. But there’s so much!

** Tim was adopted for like a year before being emancipated. WILD! What fatherless behavior!

*** What feral menaces! I love them!!! I just need to scream. Not important. Carry on. ^>^

In modern comics, why are artists drawing Damian to look like Tim/Dick? His hair is no longer spiked, his eyes aren’t green but blue, he’s paler. It’s weird right? Like Damian looks a lot like young Tim and I don’t get it? At least they keep Damian’s costume unique.