A Batman Fanfic Idea:

I genuinely love all flavors of superbats and will enjoy all of them in the same fic even though irl I would never date my brother in law/stepbrother because that level of familial integration can only lead to madness.

But at the same time…

Like at what point do the supers just go “well this new one just showed up and is about the same age as X bat so let’s just start saving for the wedding in advance.” While Bruce plays dumb and refuses to acknowledge the pattern in fear of simply imploding from the surrealism that is his life.

~ Detective Comics (1937)

Once again, we get Bruce's parenting technique of letting his kids get their anger out on him. He is even encouraging Tim to let it out, even if he is being yelled at. He is not even fighting Tim or arguing with him, he explains why he acted like he did and he is accepting Tim's anger and emotions.

And sad batblob is back at the end. Sad that one of his babies is in pain, and he cannot just take it away

My face!

Why do people make Tim being “sent” to train under Lady Shiva a bad thing in fanfics?

UM… ACTUALLY! Everything about that sentence is wrong.

Bruce doesn’t send Tim to train abroad after “only a few weeks.”

Bruce doesn’t send Tim to Lady Shiva. Tim finds that trouble all on his own.

Point 1: Bruce doesn't send Tim to train abroad until after he's been trained by Bruce for months and has "earned" the robin suit by saving Bruce from The Scarecrow. Tim meets Bruce during Spring — as seen in the art during Tim’s time tracking Dick to Halley’s Circus during his intro comic — and is being trained by him until Christmas Eve where Tim defeats Scarecrow. That is a at least 7-8 months of training.

After receiving the Robin suit, Tim expresses doubt in his ability to be Robin to which Bruce says “You just need to gain physical prowess” and suggests a training trip in Paris.

Point 2: Bruce then sends Tim to Paris to train under one of Batman’s old teacher: a Tibetan monk who’s taken refuge in Paris and is a specialist in both healing and hand to hand combat. The monk is referred to **cringe** as “Lama.” Tim then gets caught up in a gang fight which spirals into a conspiracy and catches the attention of Lady Shiva all on his own!

(Total side note and I know it was like 1991 BUT SO MANY early Tim stories have awkward racism you can’t even squint past. You gotta just grit your teeth and keep reading. His parents are killed by an evil voodoo guy. He trains under a mystical Tibetan monk. He has some awkward run ins with a Chinese mob. He had to manage a couple of “angry black guy” characters. Like I’m sure lots of other DC properties were just as bad at this time. But then you remember that Tim’s Robin is one of THE MOST successful comic lines during the 90s and early 00s and it’s just awkward. And DC still won’t hire enough non-white male writers and artists when you have beautiful stories like The Boy Wonder written by brilliant POC artists. Like why?!??)

Look I'm not saying Bruce is a perfect mentor to Tim. His reactions to Janet Drake's death is not ideal. Bruce also tries to hide information from Tim when his parents are kidnapped and lets Tim think his parents are dead because "what if Bruce can't fix it". Bruce's control issues are on fine display for several issues.

But sending Tim to Lady Shiva is not a neglectful act on Bruce's part. Tim ditched Bruce’s safe training plan and gets involved with a DEA agent and Lady Shiva.

It turns out — as you find out at the end of the comic set about Tim’s training — Bruce has been lurking around watching and waiting to step in if things get out of control for a while sfter Tim ditches Paris but otherwise lets Tim think he’s alone until Tim has succeeded in his mission and defeated King Snake. Bruce does this is to help Tim gain confidence in the field, something he was lacking during the moment Bruce hands him the Robin suit.

It’s a really sweet arc actually and helps set up what kind of Robin Tim Drake is going to be! Plus it’s a fun read (ignoring the racism)!

There is no reason to treat it as one of Bruce’s failings. He makes plenty of those all on his own.

I know we all live the “Batfam isn’t allowed to go to crime drama watch parties or mystery shows because they crack it in five seconds” trope, but hear me out:

They’re terrible at it, because they’re trained for real life, and real life lacks all the drama. Worse. They can’t interrogate suspects themselves, check the crime scenes, follow their normal protocols.

They’re not invited because they keep complaining about what they would do.

They still excel at escape rooms, but that’s because of the riddler.

“and the universe said…”

Having read a bunch of comics now (though lets be honest, not nearly enough and I'm still working through a lot of the young justice and red robin comics when it comes to Tim content) its really funny how Batman acts like Tim doesn't lies to him. Or that he can somehow tell when Tim is lying.

Tim lies all the time during his run as Robin. He lies to his friends, his parents, Bruce! He loves lying to Bruce! Hell, are we forgetting the fake uncle scheme! And yet in various stories, when Bruce needs one of the Robins to tell him something, he asks for Tim's word because the other's "lie." It doesn't make sense?

And then I got to thinking and I realize, when Bruce says Tim doesn't lie, what he really means is "Tim doesn't break his promises."

Even in the context of the panel above, Bruce isn't trying to extract information. He's trying to get his kids to stay out of the fight.

Tim is loyal to Bruce in a way no other Robin is. Dick and Jason left (Dick to find himself and less said about Jason the easier). Steph and Bruce have a sort-of relationship that never felt really close to me. Damian is a child with a burning desire to prove himself and no real understanding of his own limits. Plus -- for a good chunk of his run and really depending on his writer -- warring priorities. He wants to do right by both of his birthrights.

Tim found Bruce when he was sucidal. Tim found him when he was at his lowest and stayed. Tim found him in the timestream when everyone else thought Bruce was dead. Even now, with a new mantle as Red Robin, Tim has stayed! He’s not in another city. Yes he has his teams. But Tim is in Gotham. Tim works with Bruce. Tim is, first and foremost, an idealist boarding on a romantic with a deep belief in the power/symbolism of Batman & Robin. And that idealism means Tim is loyal to Batman.

So when Bruce says "Tim don't lie to me." What Tim hears is, "Give me your word and promise me." And I think that says a lot about their relationship.

Hey so actually I might be a little obsessed with how Tim is Dick’s only real brother.

Like hear me out. HEAR ME OUT!

Dick’s relationship with Jason is full of regret and guilt. They might be building something now but their past is full of inflicting rotting wounds (metaphorical and often literal) on each other. Dick started the pattern first when he rejected Jason as Robin. And later Jason raging against Dick after his return. Jason’s semi-valid villain crash out ending with Dick putting him in Arkham because Jason was a straight villain pre-rebirth. And even then it takes rebirth remixed canon to allow Jason some family bonding time. I say they have a handful of months — and even then how often did Dick visit! He didn’t start reconnecting with the BatFam until after the Killing Joke and Death in the Family — they got along before shit got worse.

Damian is Dick’s BABY! That is his firstborn! Dick might have had some adoption tendencies pre-crisis with Jason but they realized that shit with Dick’s (Second? Third?) time in the cowl. Dick saw this small murderous child and was like “I can do it better than Bruce” and did. And yes they might be settling into a brotherly role with Bruce stepping the fuck up.* But I promise you having witnessed siblings with a 10 year age gap — even when the parents are perfect and emotionally available — that older sibling quickly becomes a third parent. With Dick, he was the first second and third parent. No way Damian and Dick could ever just be brothers and I love that for them.

So that leaves Tim! The little baby brother he started calling little brother YEARS before Bruce ever adopted Tim.** Timmy, the freak who broke into his apartment to track him down and drag him back to Gotham. Timmy who Dick follows back to Gotham and — through his growing relationship with Tim — reconnects with his second family.

He spent his early 20s with Tim! He comes into his own as Nightwing with Tim as Robin. He literally grows into his adult self with Tim as his witness.

How many lows has Tim helped him pick up after? How many falls has Dick caught Tim after (metaphorically and literally)?

But that’s the sweet sappy shit.

Tim is the one brother Dick doesn’t have to be responsible with. He eats shitty pizza with Tim. He has movie nights and hang outs and poor-tasting inside jokes with Tim. They race each other across rooftops! They play fight in the streets. Dick booby traps his apartment so Tim can have fun breaking in.*** Dick complains about his messy love life to Tim while Tim mocks him!

THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR!

With Jason there is too much pain. With Damian there is too much responsibility. With Tim, Dick gets to be his age and just hangout with his brother!

There is a reason Dick calls Tim his equal. Dick loves his brothers, he’ll always be there for them. But Tim is the one Dick doesn’t have to watch or monitor or hover over. Tim is his brother, not his regret or his child.

20 years in real time and 4 years of comic time put Tim and Dick through the ringer. No Man’s Land. Knightfall. The nuking of Bloodhaven. Contagion. Try to name a tragedy Tim and Dick haven’t witnessed and weathers side by side! But no matter how they fight or have to disappear for the mission, they always find each other and trust each other and believe in each other. Because they are truly brothers!

(So context… I’m very much reading the 90s and 2000s run. I’m like chronologically in 98. I’ve heard modern comics have dropped this FOR SOME FUCKING REASON (they forget Tim exists, I guess). But I refuse to believe that rebirth got rid of their brotherly bond. Just as Tim’s “friendship” with Kon-El transcends timelines so does Dick and Tim’s brotherly bond! They are family bonded through the fires of time and comic book bullshit!)

* How much this is true take with a grain of salt. I’m not reading modern yet. I’ve read some cause Damian just slaps and I love him. But there’s so much!

** Tim was adopted for like a year before being emancipated. WILD! What fatherless behavior!

*** What feral menaces! I love them!!! I just need to scream. Not important. Carry on. ^>^

One day I’ll sell my crafts. But for now I’m glad I finished these!

I know it’s for the angst and maybe it’s a thing in canon cause comic books. But if the batfamily are just human — Just straight 100% human — then they cannot hide their injuries.

A sprained ankle, once sprained, is easier to sprain. A bruised rib can turn into a fractured rib. A cut can get infected. A bruise can be hiding internal bleeding. All injuries, if ignored, can get worse.

First off. Just to clarify. The reality of the situation is that our very fun fleshy human characters just cannot be getting as hurt as frequently as they do in fics. In the comics, Bruce getting bruised ribs is a sign he is not taking care of himself and is being reckless and dangerous after Jason’s death. This might have changed in modern comics (that’s dumb. Batman doesn’t get hurt because he’s skilled and prepared. If they’ve changed that for shock or vibes, it’s stupid.) but it just can’t be true. The human body doesn’t heal that fast. There is no “magnify the sun to heal faster” tech for the batfamily. It’s one thing if Bruce used magic so they could insta-heal. But he doesn’t like magic either!

Bruised ribs and sprained ankles which seem “not that bad” in a lot of fics can keep a professional athlete from practice for weeks if not months. Let’s not even get into how it can affect a professional during the actual game/race/event.

The batfamily — who must be operating at peak physical fitness and pushing their bodies to the physical limit on top of the rigorous training/working out they do to enhance their skills — must 1) treat their bodies intelligently, 2) have some kind of rest day system so their bodies don’t shut down from the stress and 3) treat every injury seriously and timely to avoid exasperation and unnecessary healing time.

I get its comic books. I get Damian has such perfect awareness of his body he can shift his organs (ew.) to avoid being fatally stabbed. He’s still just a guy! They’re all just guys in super cool futuristic body armor and some neat gadgets.

(Side note: That body armor has gotta have some kind of kinetic dispersion system like Black Panther’s to keep the bruises minimal. Which means that body armor has to be good at stopping knives and guns from piercing the human flesh underneath. Which means that body armor cannot have any obvious flaws or weaknesses like only the cape is bulletproof and short shorts revealing the femeral artery!

(What I mean is maybe Dick and Jason had some like flesh colored armor leggings. Please let me live in delusion!)

Plus there has to be under layers. The color pattern top might be spandex or some kind of colored Kevlar-like fabric, but there must be special under garments, jock straps, compression shorts, ankle and wrist wraps. Something! Just Kevlar against bare skin would be impossible. Think of the rash! The sweat!There must be some kind of sweat-slicking layer or something that keeps you cool while you exert yourself running around a massive city like Gotham*. Otherwise they’d pass out from overheating!)

And since they’re just guys, when they get injured it is a big deal! They cannot hide their injuries, especially if they’re working with others. Injuries mean physical limitations which means your teammates have to pick up the slack. If your teammates don’t know they have to pick up the slack, not only are you endangering yourself but you are endangering your teammates.

And no matter how frustratingly emotionally constipated the bats are, no way are they choosing to risk their friends and family welfare for the sake of pride.

Think about it:

If you have mobility issues then you’re on sidewalk duty? Youre walking or motorcycle. Either way you’re off rooftops until you can safely grapple without pulling some stitches on your side or exasperating the ache in your upper back.

If you hide it and then you lose your gripe on your grapple because you have a full body flinch from pulling something and your teammates have to catch you or you die. Well that’s stupid. That’s a stupid way to die. No ego is worth that stupid death.

If you’re not sleeping which means your reaction time is sloppy** then you’re just not patrolling. There is plenty of work that doesn’t require the bats to be fighting around the city. The detective work can be done at a desk looking through camera footage, tracking down informants or victims or witnesses, or just mining the web for info. Plus paperwork, gadget maintenance, and the other fussy work that happens when you don’t have a company dedicated to maintaining your status of superhero like Ironman does.

All I’m saying is I know the cool part is the swinging and the patrolling and the fighting. Having an injury — a serious one with bone and blood — sounds cool and adds tension. Hell hiding an injury sounds like something they would do because they’re emotionally stunted idiots who don’t want to be a burden on their loved ones, right?

But they’re Bats! They’re effective, efficient, smart. They are human with human limits that can keep up with Supers and Flashes and Themyscirans. But to do that, they have to be managing their human limits intelligently.

TLDR: The BatFam cannot be getting injured that frequently or hiding injuries from teammates — the family or otherwise — without becoming massive liabilities in the field which would make their jobs nearly impossible to complete at the level of excellence they must do to keep up with the rest of the superhero community.

——

* By the way, Gotham is a city with a population of 10 million. For reference, NYC has 8 million people. Gotham also has enough land to have entire city blocks permanently unoccupied. Think about that! If NYC had a plot of land unoccupied, it would be built up into housing and business space immediately because space is a hot commodity in a city of 8M! How much fucking space does Gotham have!!!

** Yes you can survive without any sleep up to 30 days but that’s because by day 30 your organs shut down. Lack of sleep starts costing you as soon as 36 hours without sleep. They have to be sleeping a full 8-10 hours (or more because again they’re moving so much!) at some point to keep up. If they have insomnia then maybe they take something to go to sleep like a special bat-ambien.