Junkdrawerfan-2 - @JunkDrawerFan’s Backup

I know it’s for the angst and maybe it’s a thing in canon cause comic books. But if the batfamily are just human — Just straight 100% human — then they cannot hide their injuries.

A sprained ankle, once sprained, is easier to sprain. A bruised rib can turn into a fractured rib. A cut can get infected. A bruise can be hiding internal bleeding. All injuries, if ignored, can get worse.

First off. Just to clarify. The reality of the situation is that our very fun fleshy human characters just cannot be getting as hurt as frequently as they do in fics. In the comics, Bruce getting bruised ribs is a sign he is not taking care of himself and is being reckless and dangerous after Jason’s death. This might have changed in modern comics (that’s dumb. Batman doesn’t get hurt because he’s skilled and prepared. If they’ve changed that for shock or vibes, it’s stupid.) but it just can’t be true. The human body doesn’t heal that fast. There is no “magnify the sun to heal faster” tech for the batfamily. It’s one thing if Bruce used magic so they could insta-heal. But he doesn’t like magic either!

Bruised ribs and sprained ankles which seem “not that bad” in a lot of fics can keep a professional athlete from practice for weeks if not months. Let’s not even get into how it can affect a professional during the actual game/race/event.

The batfamily — who must be operating at peak physical fitness and pushing their bodies to the physical limit on top of the rigorous training/working out they do to enhance their skills — must 1) treat their bodies intelligently, 2) have some kind of rest day system so their bodies don’t shut down from the stress and 3) treat every injury seriously and timely to avoid exasperation and unnecessary healing time.

I get its comic books. I get Damian has such perfect awareness of his body he can shift his organs (ew.) to avoid being fatally stabbed. He’s still just a guy! They’re all just guys in super cool futuristic body armor and some neat gadgets.

(Side note: That body armor has gotta have some kind of kinetic dispersion system like Black Panther’s to keep the bruises minimal. Which means that body armor has to be good at stopping knives and guns from piercing the human flesh underneath. Which means that body armor cannot have any obvious flaws or weaknesses like only the cape is bulletproof and short shorts revealing the femeral artery!

(What I mean is maybe Dick and Jason had some like flesh colored armor leggings. Please let me live in delusion!)

Plus there has to be under layers. The color pattern top might be spandex or some kind of colored Kevlar-like fabric, but there must be special under garments, jock straps, compression shorts, ankle and wrist wraps. Something! Just Kevlar against bare skin would be impossible. Think of the rash! The sweat!There must be some kind of sweat-slicking layer or something that keeps you cool while you exert yourself running around a massive city like Gotham*. Otherwise they’d pass out from overheating!)

And since they’re just guys, when they get injured it is a big deal! They cannot hide their injuries, especially if they’re working with others. Injuries mean physical limitations which means your teammates have to pick up the slack. If your teammates don’t know they have to pick up the slack, not only are you endangering yourself but you are endangering your teammates.

And no matter how frustratingly emotionally constipated the bats are, no way are they choosing to risk their friends and family welfare for the sake of pride.

Think about it:

If you have mobility issues then you’re on sidewalk duty? Youre walking or motorcycle. Either way you’re off rooftops until you can safely grapple without pulling some stitches on your side or exasperating the ache in your upper back.

If you hide it and then you lose your gripe on your grapple because you have a full body flinch from pulling something and your teammates have to catch you or you die. Well that’s stupid. That’s a stupid way to die. No ego is worth that stupid death.

If you’re not sleeping which means your reaction time is sloppy** then you’re just not patrolling. There is plenty of work that doesn’t require the bats to be fighting around the city. The detective work can be done at a desk looking through camera footage, tracking down informants or victims or witnesses, or just mining the web for info. Plus paperwork, gadget maintenance, and the other fussy work that happens when you don’t have a company dedicated to maintaining your status of superhero like Ironman does.

All I’m saying is I know the cool part is the swinging and the patrolling and the fighting. Having an injury — a serious one with bone and blood — sounds cool and adds tension. Hell hiding an injury sounds like something they would do because they’re emotionally stunted idiots who don’t want to be a burden on their loved ones, right?

But they’re Bats! They’re effective, efficient, smart. They are human with human limits that can keep up with Supers and Flashes and Themyscirans. But to do that, they have to be managing their human limits intelligently.

TLDR: The BatFam cannot be getting injured that frequently or hiding injuries from teammates — the family or otherwise — without becoming massive liabilities in the field which would make their jobs nearly impossible to complete at the level of excellence they must do to keep up with the rest of the superhero community.

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* By the way, Gotham is a city with a population of 10 million. For reference, NYC has 8 million people. Gotham also has enough land to have entire city blocks permanently unoccupied. Think about that! If NYC had a plot of land unoccupied, it would be built up into housing and business space immediately because space is a hot commodity in a city of 8M! How much fucking space does Gotham have!!!

** Yes you can survive without any sleep up to 30 days but that’s because by day 30 your organs shut down. Lack of sleep starts costing you as soon as 36 hours without sleep. They have to be sleeping a full 8-10 hours (or more because again they’re moving so much!) at some point to keep up. If they have insomnia then maybe they take something to go to sleep like a special bat-ambien.

My face!

Pls enjoy the first drawing I’ve worked on in four years. It’s my sister’s player character from my kids on bike’s campaign set in my high fantasy novel that I’ll finish one day :P

I think at some point Jason said “No Guts. No Glory” while not looking at an explosion and posing like an 80s action star with a machine gun unironically cause he wanted to feel cool

“and the universe said…”

| a little tomfoolery

You know that feeling when you're writing a fanfic idea for a tumblr post but then that fanfic idea becomes 4k long and you start wondering if it might be easier to just write the damn fic.

But hey! Get ready for some Dark!Bruce Wayne, Time Travel, Fix-it fic with some glorious Manipulate, Mansplane, Malewife vibes.

Here is a teaser:

While he was waiting for Haly's Ciricus to come to town, Bruce wasted no time checking on Jason. Batman spent several weeks sweeping through Crime Alley until he'd managed to peer through the right apartment window. Jason is a precious three year old. He toddles around the apartment with a confidence that suited him at every age. His step mother, Catherine Todd, is quick to follow him around, laying out strategic pillows to keep Jason from bruising his knees when he toddles too fast and falls. She's sober -- for now. In fact, according to the records Bruce found, she had yet to become an addict.  This is unacceptable.  Even if Bruce jumps the gun and puts Willis in jail -- it'll be so easy, too easy really -- Catherine is still a suitable, if poor, mother. So Bruce makes plans and then contingency plans, all on paper, all to be burnt at the minute of completion.

Doomed Siblings Core

Welcome to my unpopular opinion but I am so, so tired of people and just the fandom as a whole vilifying the Drakes to an obscene amount. Like, were they the best parents in the world? No, but they weren't the abusive and neglectful monsters most of the fandom tries to write them as.

Jack and Janet were fully under the impression Tim was being taken care of when they were gone because he was in boarding schools, a responsible and logical place to put a child if you knew your work would have you traveling a lot. The only reason this wasn't true because Tim was the one to make it so. Tim was the one sneaking out of boarding schools and not telling his parents what he was doing.

Every time in the comics when the Drakes came back, Tim was excited and actually did spend time with them. We are given multiple accounts from Tim of him hanging out with both of his parents when they are back in town while Tim is being robin.

The Drakes also very much cared about Tim. The first thing Jack does when he finds out Tim was in a dangerous situation (being Robin) was get Tim out of it. Yeah, it sucks that Tim's opinions and thoughts were acknowledged, but Jack did what any loving and responsible parent would do the moment they find out their son was risking their life and doing something extremely dangerous and reckless and that's get him out of it! Jack moved Tim away from potential danger to keep his son safe. The moment Tim went missing Jack dropped fucking everything he had in terms of influence and fortune to get his son back. Is that the behavior of someone who couldn't give a shit about their son? Someone who clearly doesn't care about their safety and existence? No. It's not.

Besides, not even Tim himself vilifies his parents. Time and time again in the comics, Tim is shown missing his parents, talking fondly of them. Literally during the whole saga where Tim was traveling through time and the multiverse to find Bruce during failsafe, Tim embraces his mother and just enjoys being with her. Tim's ideal world and life is his parents being alive, it's Tim being with his Dad and Mom.

The Drakes are not evil monsters, and honestly, Tim's story and dynamic with Bruce is so much more interesting when the Drakes are loving and caring and Bruce isn't 'saving' him from his parents.

A Batman fanfic idea:

A “Tim gets adopted early” AU but Jason still goes to Ethiopia, still gets betrayed and captured and tortured and dies.

So Batman is losing it. It takes all of Superman’s strength and cunning to keep Batman from killing the joker. And it’s only his youngest son’s voice through the comms who calms him down long enough to be restrained.

But even then, Batman can’t control himself completely. He’s not drinking. He has a child to take care of and he’d die before he turns into the worst kind of father’s Gotham has to offer.

But Dick still hates him and Alfred’s quiet presence isn’t the balm it usually is — instead just reminding him how much he missed Jason’s noise and joy. Of course, little Tim isn’t handling the lose of his brother very well either, the quiet child turning inwards in his grief.

So Batman goes out and with each sunset becomes darker, more violent, more desperate. Sloppy. One night he takes two shots to the back after already tearing his suit. He has no backup. He can’t think of a back up plan.

Once again it’s Tim’s voice, warm and alive, over the comms that gives him the strength to get up and limp into the Batmobile. It’s Tim’s presence that gives him enough strength to come home.

Tim is waiting in the cave for him, refusing to leave as Alfred and Dr. Thompson dig the bullets out of his back and sew his skin closed. Tim holds his hand through it all, never turning those ice blue eyes, even when the tears come.

It’s the last night he’s Batman. He can’t do it anymore, can’t do it to Tim. He can’t make his last son an orphan. Not again.

He tells Alfred first. Then Superman who tells the league. Finally, he calls Dick and tells him the truth, not the lie he told Superman about injuries and rest or the story he spun Alfred about being tired, he tells Dick, “I’m not strong enough.”

Dick understands and Dick hates him for it.

Nightwing moves to Gotham. Dick Grayson-Wayne moves back to the manor.

Tim never becomes Robin. There isn’t a Batman to save anymore.

Bruce Wayne calms down after the death of his son, people say. He rarely leaves the manor these days and only when he’s accompanied by his sons. What a doting father!

Nightwing gets a sidekick called Black Bat. Batgirl returns with blonde hair. The underground speak of an all seeing eye coined Oracle.

Bruce Wayne never adopts another child after Tim Drake-Wayne.

Eventually, because of time and family therapy, Dick forgives Bruce. Nightwing never forgives Batman.

And three years after the retirement of Batman, Red Hood returns to the city that failed him.