A Batman Fanfic Idea:

I’m honestly surprised breakdown cut your hair in the bathroom at 3am and dye it hot pink isn’t more common in Batfamily fanfics.

But Dick definitely grew out his hair for years, researching the right conditioners and at one point giving into those weird hair gummy bear ads on insta. But after a bad night that shouldn’t be considered that bad considering the bullshit he’s put up with in his life, gives himself bangs at 5am in the morning and dyes it Cosmic Purple.

Tim has a manic breakdown and gave himself a rough cut that can only be salvaged by a bowl and Alfred’s sharpest fabric sheers at 3am after Steph’s fake death and he’s crying the entire time.

Jason had a phase where he was dying that white chunk ever color of the rainbow for months in an attempt to feel more in control of his body so he always had dye stains underneath his fingernails until it became stringy and gross and he had to shave his head. (Roy did it). (He hates that it grew back.)

Cass constantly cuts her hair. She tries lace wigs. She dyes it different colors. Always at a salon with Bruce’s credit card. Until one night, she can’t stand to look at herself in the mirror.

She feels numb. It’s been a shit day, week, life. And everyone can tells she’s pissed and she knows and they know she knows. But when they try to ask her what’s wrong she can’t get the words out because words suck and also she doesn’t know. So she just shaves off all her hair and her eyebrows and regrets it as soon as the trimmer touches scalp but it’s too late.

I'm reading Tim Drake's origin story (Batman #440-447) and I cannot believe this panel exists. Pre-9/11 was a different world!

For context, Two-Face is trying to figure out what to do to get Batman's attention.

Both Tim and Damian dating their respective supers and Tim trying to mess with Damian by calling him his “sisterwife” and regretting it immediately when Damian double down and starts using it in public to fuck with him:

Damian: As sisterwives, we should get married on the same day. It will help father with the wedding costs and ensure a higher dowry from the Kent’s. Tim: **just trying to live his life** why do you like to see me suffer? Jason: **a massive regency fan** oooh! What about themed engagement rings?

Let it be known there is no game of chicken Damian Wayne-Al Ghul will lose unless unconscious.

Absolute CRACK BatFic Idea:

An AU where Tim knows Batman needs a Robin and discovers (somehow) that Bruce Wayne has a biological son and sets out on a quest to kidnap Damian into become the new Robin.

It’s like “Fine! Dick doesn’t want it and Jason’s dead. If Bruce Wayne needs a son to turn into Robin, I’m going to go get him one!”

Too competent, no awareness Tim Drake (very fandom Tim Drake I know but listen…. It’d be funny!) hacking into the League of Assassin computers (sneaks into the cave during Bruce’s solo patrols to connect his personal laptop to get access to the BatNet) so he can talk to Damian (small boi, very sweet, was never taught internet safety because who the fuck could be talking to him on the LoA’s intranet!) and get his location.

Tim waiting months, befriending Damian the whole time, until Talia takes Damian to one of the Leagues’ European safe houses, all the while promising Damian that he’s his friend and he wants to meet but his mom is too protective.

Tim: you can’t tell her. She’ll make us stop talking.

Damian: but what if I convince her we’re friends?

Tim: hmmm let’s wait until I can see you in person! That way we can convince her together!

Maybe they’re in Paris (it’s always Paris) when Tim meets and admits the reason he’s talking to Damian is because he knows his dad who sent him to bring him home (lie).

“I’m friends with his eldest son,” Tim says, you know… like a liar. (But he did snap a selfie with Dick for this exact purpose because oh holy contingencies Batman. “I can take you to your dad.”

And Damian is unsure and resists but than Tim points out Talia never tells Damian when he’ll get to see his dad. “And isn’t taking initiative something encourages by the LoA, Dami?”

Anyway, Tim gets Damian on that plane fast enough (and with Damian’s help and Tim’s tech savvy sneakily enough) to avoid the ninjas. Until it’s 8 hour later and Tim is knocking on the door (he’d tricked Dick into visiting for the weekend because he knows he’s going to need the older boy to smooth all this over) like “TA-DA! NEW SON ALERT!”

Cue fallout and Dick and Bruce quickly realizing they’ve got two new kids in the house because Talia is going to have to pry sweet baby, naive, adorably arrogant 6 year old Damian from Bruce’s cold dead fingers and also “Oh my god we need to fix this little stalker neighbor boy before he becomes a new rogue.”

(Side Note: this could so easily be a horror fic from limited POV like Damian’s :D where the audience doesn’t know who Damian is talking to while he’s being stalked and eventually kidnapped. Until the end it’s revealed to be Tim who’d have never hurt Damian and actually did bring him to Gotham to meet Bruce!)

My face!

A Batman fanfic idea:

A “Tim gets adopted early” AU but Jason still goes to Ethiopia, still gets betrayed and captured and tortured and dies.

So Batman is losing it. It takes all of Superman’s strength and cunning to keep Batman from killing the joker. And it’s only his youngest son’s voice through the comms who calms him down long enough to be restrained.

But even then, Batman can’t control himself completely. He’s not drinking. He has a child to take care of and he’d die before he turns into the worst kind of father’s Gotham has to offer.

But Dick still hates him and Alfred’s quiet presence isn’t the balm it usually is — instead just reminding him how much he missed Jason’s noise and joy. Of course, little Tim isn’t handling the lose of his brother very well either, the quiet child turning inwards in his grief.

So Batman goes out and with each sunset becomes darker, more violent, more desperate. Sloppy. One night he takes two shots to the back after already tearing his suit. He has no backup. He can’t think of a back up plan.

Once again it’s Tim’s voice, warm and alive, over the comms that gives him the strength to get up and limp into the Batmobile. It’s Tim’s presence that gives him enough strength to come home.

Tim is waiting in the cave for him, refusing to leave as Alfred and Dr. Thompson dig the bullets out of his back and sew his skin closed. Tim holds his hand through it all, never turning those ice blue eyes, even when the tears come.

It’s the last night he’s Batman. He can’t do it anymore, can’t do it to Tim. He can’t make his last son an orphan. Not again.

He tells Alfred first. Then Superman who tells the league. Finally, he calls Dick and tells him the truth, not the lie he told Superman about injuries and rest or the story he spun Alfred about being tired, he tells Dick, “I’m not strong enough.”

Dick understands and Dick hates him for it.

Nightwing moves to Gotham. Dick Grayson-Wayne moves back to the manor.

Tim never becomes Robin. There isn’t a Batman to save anymore.

Bruce Wayne calms down after the death of his son, people say. He rarely leaves the manor these days and only when he’s accompanied by his sons. What a doting father!

Nightwing gets a sidekick called Black Bat. Batgirl returns with blonde hair. The underground speak of an all seeing eye coined Oracle.

Bruce Wayne never adopts another child after Tim Drake-Wayne.

Eventually, because of time and family therapy, Dick forgives Bruce. Nightwing never forgives Batman.

And three years after the retirement of Batman, Red Hood returns to the city that failed him.

Hey so actually I might be a little obsessed with how Tim is Dick’s only real brother.

Like hear me out. HEAR ME OUT!

Dick’s relationship with Jason is full of regret and guilt. They might be building something now but their past is full of inflicting rotting wounds (metaphorical and often literal) on each other. Dick started the pattern first when he rejected Jason as Robin. And later Jason raging against Dick after his return. Jason’s semi-valid villain crash out ending with Dick putting him in Arkham because Jason was a straight villain pre-rebirth. And even then it takes rebirth remixed canon to allow Jason some family bonding time. I say they have a handful of months — and even then how often did Dick visit! He didn’t start reconnecting with the BatFam until after the Killing Joke and Death in the Family — they got along before shit got worse.

Damian is Dick’s BABY! That is his firstborn! Dick might have had some adoption tendencies pre-crisis with Jason but they realized that shit with Dick’s (Second? Third?) time in the cowl. Dick saw this small murderous child and was like “I can do it better than Bruce” and did. And yes they might be settling into a brotherly role with Bruce stepping the fuck up.* But I promise you having witnessed siblings with a 10 year age gap — even when the parents are perfect and emotionally available — that older sibling quickly becomes a third parent. With Dick, he was the first second and third parent. No way Damian and Dick could ever just be brothers and I love that for them.

So that leaves Tim! The little baby brother he started calling little brother YEARS before Bruce ever adopted Tim.** Timmy, the freak who broke into his apartment to track him down and drag him back to Gotham. Timmy who Dick follows back to Gotham and — through his growing relationship with Tim — reconnects with his second family.

He spent his early 20s with Tim! He comes into his own as Nightwing with Tim as Robin. He literally grows into his adult self with Tim as his witness.

How many lows has Tim helped him pick up after? How many falls has Dick caught Tim after (metaphorically and literally)?

But that’s the sweet sappy shit.

Tim is the one brother Dick doesn’t have to be responsible with. He eats shitty pizza with Tim. He has movie nights and hang outs and poor-tasting inside jokes with Tim. They race each other across rooftops! They play fight in the streets. Dick booby traps his apartment so Tim can have fun breaking in.*** Dick complains about his messy love life to Tim while Tim mocks him!

THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOR!

With Jason there is too much pain. With Damian there is too much responsibility. With Tim, Dick gets to be his age and just hangout with his brother!

There is a reason Dick calls Tim his equal. Dick loves his brothers, he’ll always be there for them. But Tim is the one Dick doesn’t have to watch or monitor or hover over. Tim is his brother, not his regret or his child.

20 years in real time and 4 years of comic time put Tim and Dick through the ringer. No Man’s Land. Knightfall. The nuking of Bloodhaven. Contagion. Try to name a tragedy Tim and Dick haven’t witnessed and weathers side by side! But no matter how they fight or have to disappear for the mission, they always find each other and trust each other and believe in each other. Because they are truly brothers!

(So context… I’m very much reading the 90s and 2000s run. I’m like chronologically in 98. I’ve heard modern comics have dropped this FOR SOME FUCKING REASON (they forget Tim exists, I guess). But I refuse to believe that rebirth got rid of their brotherly bond. Just as Tim’s “friendship” with Kon-El transcends timelines so does Dick and Tim’s brotherly bond! They are family bonded through the fires of time and comic book bullshit!)

* How much this is true take with a grain of salt. I’m not reading modern yet. I’ve read some cause Damian just slaps and I love him. But there’s so much!

** Tim was adopted for like a year before being emancipated. WILD! What fatherless behavior!

*** What feral menaces! I love them!!! I just need to scream. Not important. Carry on. ^>^

Why did no one tell me Tim didn’t grow up in the Manor next door to the Waynes and instead moved into it after his father woke up from his coma/paralysis!!!

Did they change this after the reboot or something?

| Welcome Home, Sweetheart

Some drawing practice!