I Love Homestuck. Homestuck Raised Me. I Will Never Suggest Someone Read It. I Cant Even Tell You The

Toddler with puppy btw. If you even care.

retweet

being mutuals isnt enough. i need to be able to invite them over for the movies i think they would like.

Has anyone done this yet?

I have a pet axolotl in minecraft and he is brown and I named him poop I will show pics later but this is a formal introduction bc he deserves it

Reconstructions made from the ancient skeletons found at archeological sites:

The Whitehawk Woman. She lived in England around 5,000 years ago and was buried with great care. She was also buried with a newborn infant, and died aged between 19 and 25 years old. Researchers believe she died during or very soon after childbirth. Her bones indicate she was otherwise in good health.

Adelasius Ebalchus. He lived in Switzerland 1,300 years ago, and was in his late teens/early twenties at the time of his death. His gravesite indicated he came from wealth, and his bones showed he was well-nourished. His bones also showed that Adelasius suffered a lingering infection; archeologists believe he most likely died from lung inflammation.

The Slonk Hill Man was found semi-crouched in a grave near the seaside town of Brighton, England — in the same area as the Whitehawk Woman. Their lives, however, were separated by nearly 3,000 years. The Slonk Hill Man lived during Britain’s Iron Age. The reconstruction artist (an archeologist and sculptor) described him as being “very good looking”, tall, muscular, and in robust health at the time of his death. There were no obvious signs of what caused his death.

The Wari Queen. She was found in 2012 by a Polish-Peruvian archeology team, entombed in an underground mausoleum in El Castillo de Huarmey, Peru. She lived approximately 1200 years ago and died in her sixties. Her bones indicate she led a leisurely life, and her decayed teeth indicate a diet high in sugar (most likely she regularly drank the sugary corn-based beer, chicha). Other artefacts in her chamber suggest she was an expert weaver — a very highly-valued craft.

ryan's intro to Goncharov (1973)

Unsolved: The Goncharov Hysteria

Classicists see some totally normal text posts then be like 'aha yes major parallels with the death of Plinkios from book 12 of the Blorbiad amirite?'

Ranting about the slimecicle cinematic universe because it’s arguably better than the dream smp. Aka why Schlatt is the ultimate puppetmaster of the Slimecicle cinematic multiverse.

So Jschlatt is basically confirmed to have survived being destroyed by Charlie Slimecicle in “Minecraft but every five minutes there’s a natural disaster” and seems to be wandering the multiverse.

He appears before Charlie several times posing as a shopkeeper and is responsible for a large amount of things that happen in this universe.

The first time he appears, he addresses Charlie by name, despite Charlie mentioning that he has no clue who Schlatt is and offers Charlie some drugs that might not even be drugs but rather some unpronounceable substance that no mortal can comprehend, considering the fact the every attempt to speak it’s name gets redacted. He and his shop then disappear.

The second time he appears, he warns Charlie about some upcoming events, and keeps mentioning storms, possibly foreshadowing the fact that Schlatt is the same “Demon of the Storm” that’s able to control the weather and might even be the one causing the worsening natural disasters that plague Charlie as he attempts to reach day 100. He and his shop then disappear.

The third time he appears, he’s given up on appearing normal, and tells this Charlie about the events of “Minecraft but every five minutes there’s a natural disaster” (or “MBEFMTAND” for short ) before Charlie asks him what he is and he answers with complete gibberish that Charlie cannot understand, before offering him a golden apple.

This is very important because in “MBEFMTAND” Schlatt gives Charlie a golden apple before he begins destroying the world, which Charlie eats, causing him to become an entity similar to Schlatt, which we know because Charlie was the only person capable of standing against Schlatt and eventually banishing him.

But this isn’t the same Charlie as “MBEFMTAND”. This is a completely different universe with a completely different Charlie. We know this because this Charlie has no idea who Schlatt is even after he’s given a vision of the MBEFMTAND universe. This Charlie is also incapable of understanding Schlatt’s explanation of what he is, presumably because that is forbidden knowledge that cannot be understood by mortals. MBEFMTAND Charlie has already eaten the golden apple and would therefore be able to understand it.

After giving his uncomprehendible explanation, he offers this universe’s Charlie a golden apple which would presumably make Charlie into a being just like him, and probably make his explanation make sense instead of sounding like a random string of words.

And Charlie refuses to eat the apple.

Also worth mentioning now is the fact that Schlatt is responsible for just about everything that happens in this new universe.

In the beginning, the Scientist (he never mentions his name and is only referred to as “The Mad Scientist” in the credits) and Tommy created a machine called the Deus Project.

The Deus Project is capable of both accessing other universes and editing the main universe that it’s located in. During the first test, Tommy was sent to another universe that I’m just going to call “the zombie universe” and came back infected with a zombie virus, causing the apocalypse.

There are two things that I should mention about the zombie universe.

It can only be reached using the Deus Project.

The Deus Project is powered by the Deus Charge, which automatically locks onto the zombie universe and needs to be actively calibrated to prevent it from always accessing the zombie universe.

Schlatt is able to access the zombie universe at will and seems to be at his strongest when inside.

When Tommy came back from the zombie universe, he wasn’t just patient zero. He was something else entirely. Capable of commanding Zombies, summoning Zombies, turning himself invisible/teleportation using a mysterious potion and became completely immortal when outside the zombie universe. All of those things, especially the invisibility/teleportation potion, are things that Schlatt is capable of doing. We see him using invisibility in MBEFMTAND and he teleports him and his entire shop constantly. Schlatt also has connections to the zombie universe.

So there’s a good chance that Tommy made a deal with Schlatt while he was in the Zombie universe. Considering the fact that Charlie has no way back when he sends himself to the zombie dimension, that deal may have been how Tommy returned home.

Then there’s the Deus Charge.

The Deus Charge is presumably what allows the Deus Project to access and distort other realities. It automatically locks onto the zombie universe and requires special equipment to stop it from always sending things to the zombie universe.

This is a bit of a stretch, but keep in mind that Deus is the Latin word for god or deity, and it always connects to the zombie universe. Now who’s a god in the SCM (Slimecicle cinematic multiverse) with connections to the zombie universe?

That right, Schlatt.

So Schlatt may have been responsible for the creation of the Deus Project and the apocalypse it caused.

“But why is Schlatt even IN the zombie dimension anyways?” I hear none of you ask. Well, at the end of MBEFMTAND, Charlie banishes Schlatt from the realm, presumably sending him back to whatever godless dimension he came from, before ascending to godhood and trying to rebuild the world that Schlatt destroyed, leading to the events of “the hardest Minecraft difficulty”

Schlatt never appears in that dimension again, but does briefly resurface in another dimension, where “Minecraft but the blocks fight back” is taking place, presumably possessing or replacing the Schlatt that already existed there. He allows the Charlie of that universe to use his powers a couple times and eventually leaves on his own. However, this probably isn’t canon.

What I’ll consider canon in the SCM is anything that is considered a cinematic video. Meaning a longer video with actual lore.

Meaning that Minecraft but every 5 minutes there’s a natural disaster, the HARDEST Minecraft difficulty and We spent 100 days in a Minecraft hardcore apocalypse are the only real canonical parts of the SCM. Everything else is just referencing it.

“But where did Schlatt go when he was banished?” I still hear no one ask because no one but me actually cares about something this specific. Simple, he was sent to the zombie universe, and eventually either escaped on his own or convinced the Scientist and Tommy to build the Deus Project so he could escape through their universe.

Schlatt even influenced the people that Charlie interacted with over the course of the 100 days. Wizly, the wizard that Charlie meets near the end of his journey, is shown to be capable of accessing the zombie universe, and might have originally gotten his magic via a deal with Schlatt a couple thousand years ago.

He also gave the Scientist some of that eldritch substance he offered to Charlie, who used it on some zombies and created the rippers.

Schlatt was definitely the reason that the Deus Project exploded after being fixed. We’ve already established that he was responsible for at least some part of its creation, and he probably doesn’t like the idea of some random guy being able to bend reality at will. That’s HIS job.

And then there’s the very beginning of Charlie’s journey. When he wakes up in a zombie filled laboratory with no memory of how he got there. The laboratory looks similar to the Scientist’s lab, but the scientist didn’t create it. The laboratory also got completely annihilated by a meteor, Aka a natural disaster that Schlatt has control over. So Schlatt was most likely responsible for Charlie waking up at all.

But why?

So he can get Charlie to eat the apple.

Schlatt controls just about everything that happens during Charlie’s journey and eventually, on day 99, when Charlie is at his lowest point, he offers him the golden apple. The change to become a god just like him. To understand the true secrets of the universe.

And Charlie refuses.

So Schlatt makes sure that Charlie MAY see day 100, but he won’t see anything beyond it. Fixing the Deus Project just enough for Charlie to send himself and Tommy to the zombie universe, before watching Charlie be killed. Tying up every lose end that could prove his existence. The Scientist that he spoke to directly is dead, Tommy, who he made a deal with is dead and Charlie, who he spoke to and guided the most is dead.

He may have failed to get Charlie to eat the apple, but he still got the last laugh.

Gold and amethyst ring, Hellenistic, 1st century BC

from Christies