Me: -eat Something-

Me: *Binges literally all day*

My ed:

Admitting you were abused is hard for whole multitude of reasons, but one that hit me most was the fact that I had to admit to myself that abusers have managed to really, really hurt me. Really badly. That all their efforts to get to me, to make me doubt myself, to make me hate myself, were successful, no matter how much I fought, and pretended not to be hit by it all. I didn’t manage to defend myself. I didn’t beat them. I got hurt. I couldn’t get out of there. I couldn’t get away from them. I continued to get hurt. For a long long time. I was at their mercy. They could have done anything to me. They did anything to me. Nobody stopped them. Nobody fought for me. Despite all my efforts to keep myself sane, to keep myself okay, I am filled with wounds and trauma and damage too vast to even asses. They got what they wanted. And I lost big parts of myself to it. I’ve been lying to myself when I tried to be okay. I wasn’t okay. I needed help. I wasn’t unbeatable. I wasn’t quite that strong. Humans aren’t made to be that strong. Humans aren’t made to survive in environment where they’re tortured and abandoned completely. I wasn’t made to withstand that either. I got broken. I lived in an illusion that this was okay. It wasn’t. I was scared. I was alone. I thought it was my fault. I could have died. It’s a miracle I’m still around.

Never forgetting how i once said i wanted to take my organs out to stop feeling psychological pain and then stopped and said "ok i think im over reacting"

*screaming crying almost having a panic attack* i think im over reacting

Oh dear

Hey guys. EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE who reblogs this post BY MAY 5TH 2019 will be getting a small monster design based on your blog theme, name, or profile picture. Let’s go.

My dad came back home just to sit in the table i was studyng at, while he was in a videocall talking and getting drunk with his friends, i love my dad so much i went to my bedroom ´cause i can´t even study in my own house without being bothered💗

autistic self diagnosis is valid

Me: I want to get better:/

My ed: does that mean that you want to be fat?

Me:

I'm in mcdonald's and I'm surviving drinking grape-strawberry juice and Zero coke, here I go, 170 caloriesssssss and 0 at the same time