H!
I'm back from the dead!
And I have things to talk about š¤
Last month into this month has been fucking wild for me!
I was connected to a girl my age through my therapist, her name is Sam. We've really hit it off and I now consider her a friend.
Then... for some reason I felt confident enough to make a dating profile.... and
AGAINST ALL ODDS I MET SOMEONE.
Like I live in a town over an hour away from any cities.. but he only lives a half hour out of town... so not a super long drive.
Anyway, we've seen eachother in person twice but I fell so deeply in love with the guy.. and I can tell he feels the same about me... the way he looks at me.... How he talks... He is also a total romantic.. much like myself, so it's been going really good! I'm hoping we'll get to see eachother again next week.
But I never thought I'd ever get into a romantic relationship... if I'm being honest
Don't read on if you're easily triggered by mental health issues and/or sexual themes.
I never intended to be around this long... I was literally planning on ending it all shortly after my 18th birthday... But for some reason... I kept going.. and I'm super happy that I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have ever met my friend and boyfriend.
Seriously...
Things are finally going right for me after so many goddamned years of being alone, isolated unable to find any real connection and incredibly miserable because of it...
I have finally realized I am not unlikeable, I'm not worthless and I can find friends. And for the rest of 2022 and into 2023, I will work as hard as I can to not let my anxiety control me anymore
My next big leap comes in November. I will be looking for my first job!
And here comes the part where I gush about my boyfriend
I now have this dream now where I'm settling down with my boyfriend.... we move into a little apartment in one of the cities nearby (in fact that dream could very well come true... because we both want to go to the same city for college) and we settle into a peaceful domestic life together.... hopefully with cats!
Ok... but like honestly this guy is literally the one I've been dreaming of. He's very attractive and emotionally available, and he doesn't judge me for who I am! I neglected to mention here, but I have discovered that I am agender and my pronouns are they/them... I live in probably one of the most conservative provinces in Canada and to make it worse, I'm in a small town with like 4 churches of the same exact brand of extremely homophobic and transphobic Christianity... I fully expected him to lose interest in me. But no, It hasn't affected how he thinks of me. and he is very careful to respect my pronouns...
He's also very funny (which I really love in people... I can't be around someone who is super serious all the time) I mean... when I last saw him on Monday, we were at my place, playing around (in an adult sort of way) and he discovered my toys
One of them had a suction cup at the base, so he goes and sticks it on the wall a few times... then he sticks it on his forehead looks at me and says "I'm dildo man" we laugh about it together.... and he goes to pull it off his face only to discover it has suctioned pretty hard to his face, so I help him by wedging my finger under the suction cup and lifting it off...
and HE HAS A BIG ASS BRUISE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD... We're still laughing our asses off... me almost pissing myself with laughter as we frantically search for way to get rid of bruises and hickeys online... we try the fork method, icing it... everything we can do, nothing works.. so we decide to just take a bath to clean up before my parents get home from a trip they were on (at this point my parents don't know we've had sex... and I wasn't exactly ready to tell them) While we're in the bath, my parents get home and my dad calls out to me... I fucking panic and we get out and dress at breakneck speed.
My parents brought home some takeout and my boyfriend stayed for dinner... he met my mom for the first time... but damn... coming downstairs after that was... super awkward... but thankfully my parents aren't the type to be bothered by that kind of thing, all they needed to know was that we used protection (which we did ofc)
It's funny though, he really gets along well with my dad.. Maybe it's their sense of humour. Or maybe the fact they are both quite talkative..
But damn.....
This guy is special.. and I hope we last for years, decades... life even...
And done.. Sorry about all that.. just had to write this all down somewhere.. It's really hard to contain my happiness right now.
Only listens to grunge
He finds everything else āfucking insufferableā
Naturally, his favorite band is⦠you guessed it, Nirvana!
His favorite song is About A Girl
Least favorite genre though is pop.
He usually listens to music while working cases and writing.
He finds it relaxes himā¦. But heās rarely ever relaxed anyway so it doesnāt really make much difference with his mood or anything.
He is into MCR and nobody and I mean NOBODY can convince me otherwise.
Honestly he probably bought a Black Parade jacket AND a Party Poison jacket.
He even owns all of The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys comics, in fact, the album by the same name is his all time favorite, but he does love all the albums dearly, even the EPs and demos and all that.
But if he had to pick a favorite, it would be Na Na Na
Heād never admit to it but he thinks Every Snowflake is Different totally slaps.
He tries to get Mello to listen to his music, but is usually met with āturn that stupid fucking emo shit off before I beat you with a flyswatterā
Matt isnāt really the type to hate any genre of music⦠He appreciates all of them!
I think he listens to instrumentals.
He especially loves movie soundtracks.
Just as long as thereās no words, he finds lyrics distracting.
Heāll typically listen while working or playing with his toys.
His favorite is Molossus
Really you could play almost anything by Hans Zimmer and heād probably vibe with it.
He dislikes death metal, it gives him headaches š
Listens to Gorillaz quite a lot⦠(IDK why I immediately looked at him and thought Gorillaz. I barely ever listen to them myself, but he just seems like that type.)
His favorite song is Clint Eastwood
Has also recently gotten into the habit of listening to random weirdcore/dreamcore/internetcore playlists.
For that he doesnāt really have a favorite itās usually just background noise anyway.
In general all music, for L, is background noise. He never really pays much mind to it so due to that, he doesnāt exactly have anything he dislikes.
Complete and total fucking silence.
What do you expect? This dudeās unhingedā¦
He will not listen to music, if anyone near him dares to play musicā¦..
Oh boy⦠Rest In Piecesā¦.
Oh, if anyone is interested I have two Spotify playlists for Matt and Mello, if I add any more playlists for DN I'll add them here!
stop ruining the christmas mood thorin thatās mean Ā
Heyo, Just wanted to let you know, my inbox is open again and Iām accepting requests once more!Ā
Iāll also mark my husbandos and waifus.. Because thatās relevant information... W= Waifu H= Husbando Ultra= God tier/Will die for this character
From Black Butler
MeyRin (Ultra W)
Sebastian Michaelis (H)
Beast
Joker
Snake
Vincent Phantomhive (H)
Undertaker (Ultra H)
Ciel Phantomhive
Angelina Dalles
Grell (W H)
Ronald Knox
Lau
RanMao (W)
Ā From Seraph Of The End
Guren Ichinose (Ultra H)
Shinya Hiragi (H)
Norito Goshi
Mito Jujo
Sayuri Hanayori
Shigure Yukimi
Mahiru Hiragi (W)
Yuiciro Hyakuya
Mikaela Hyakuya
Yoichi Saotome
Shinoa Hiragi
Ferid Bathory (I seethe with anger whenever I see him or hear his name, Iām sorry if I like end up making all the fics I write with him spiteful lol)Ā
Krul Tepes
Ā Ā From Demon Slayer
Giyuu TomiokaĀ (H)Ā
Kyojuro Rengoku (H)
Muzan Kibutsuji
Kagaya Ubuyashiki (H)
Ā Ā From Blue ExorcistĀ
Yukio Okumura (Ultra H)
Rin Okumura (H)
Shiemi Moriyama
Shura Kirigakure (W)
Mephisto Pheles
Ā Ā Ā From My Hero Academia
Shouta Aizawa (H)
Hizashi YamadaĀ
Ā Ā Ā From Attack On Titan
Levi Ackerman (H)
Zoe HanjiĀ
Erwin Smith (Ultra H)
Eren Jaeger (Fuck this guy... )
Mikasa Ackerman
Historia Reiss/ Christa Lenz (W)
Yimir (The lesbian brunette chick) (W)
Annie Leonhart
Sasha Braus (W)
Ā Ā Ā From Danganronpa
Byakuya Togami (H)
Toko Fukawa (W)
Ā Ā Ā From Jojoās Bizarre Adventure
Dio Brando (Both Phantom Blood and Stardust Crusaders versions please specify in your ask)
Jonathan Joestar
Robert E. O. Speedwagon (ULTRA ULTRA H)
Bruno Bucellati/Buccarati (H)
Giorno Giovanna
Guido Mista
Kars
Joeseph JoestarĀ
Jotaro Kujo
Jolyne Kujo
Noriaki Kakyoin
Ā Ā Ā Ā From Mystic Messenger:
Jihyun Kim/V
Unknown/Ray/Saeran
707/Luciel/Saeyoung
Vanderwood (ofc heās still an ULTRA H)
Jaehee Kang
Ā Ā Ā Ā From Obey Me:
Beelzebub
Lucifer
Satan
Mammon
Leviathan
Asmodeus
Diavolo
Barbatos
Solomon
Simeon
Ā Ā Ā Ā From The Arcana:
Julian Devorak (H)
Asra Alnazar
Nadia SatrinavaĀ
Muriel (H)
Portia Devorak (W)
Valerius
Valdemar (idk what the gender neutral term for waifu/husbando is...but I like them a lot)
From Death Note
Matsuda
Raye Penber
Misa Amane
For the Wammy boys please go to my new side blog
And I think thatās all..if you want short scenarios or short fics of any of these characters, please send me an ask!Ā
If I had to see this so do all of you motherfuckers.
Don't ask me where I got this screenshot, but there is a girlie out there with a $20,000 life-sized Astarion sex doll.
I just have to askā¦were the fanfics not enough??
Vandyās reaction to MC waking him up with kisses?
Thank you for requesting, Anon!!
-You had woken up before Vanderwood.Ā
-You guessed that he had a late night.Ā
-But you knew he liked waking up with you, so you decided to wake him up.
-You rolled on top of him and started kissing him.Ā
-You started with a gentle cheek kiss.Ā
-Then a forehead kiss.
-Then a peck on the lips.Ā
-He was still asleep.Ā
-You then forced your tongue in his mouth.Ā
-That seemed to wake him up.Ā
-He pushed you away.Ā
-āWhat are you doing?ā He asked tiredly.Ā
-āKissing you.ā You replied.
-āOh ok.ā He said before pulling you back in for another kiss.
-Honestly he really enjoyed days where youād wake him like this.
No bc I actually screamed and cried when I saw his sword and the realization hit me... AND THEY GAVE HIM HIS SILLY LITTLE CRAVAT THING HE HAD IN SOTN TOO. I NEED a second season like yesterday lol.
Jumin and Vandy reacting to their MC asking them to sing for her bc she thinks their voices are really soothing?
Thanks fro requesting, Anon!!
-You were laying in bed next to eachother.
-It was already 3AM and you were restless.
-Desperately searching for a way to get to sleep, you woke Jumin.Ā
-He groaned out of tiredness.
-āJumin, would you mind singing to me?ā You asked.Ā
-You had remembered walking in while he was singing along to a song he liked.
-You found his voice very relaxing.Ā
-āOf course Iāll sing to you, MCāĀ
-He then softly sang you a song as you drifted off to sleep.
-You were sitting in the living room with Vanderwood.
-You had been thinking about Vanderwoodās voice.
-His voice always relaxed you.
-You wondered what his singing voice was like...Ā
-So you asked him to sing for you.
-āVanderwood, Iām curious, are you good at singing?āĀ
-āIām really not a good singer.Ā ā
-āOh come on, Can you sing for me, please?āĀ
-He sighed and sang a song for you.Ā
-āThat was amazing, Vandy, Your voice is so relaxing, It could put me to sleepā You smirked and kissed him on the cheek.Ā
-He made a mental note to sing to you more often.
Can you do headcanons where undertaker has an s/o thatās similar to him? Aka they like to laugh and fool around, they like obscure things, collect bones and furs, and are just overall eccentric? Thx ā¤ļø
Thank you for requesting, anon! I'm sorry about it being so short.. This is my first HC I've done in a while lol I'm a little rusty, but I hope you enjoy regardless! š¤
Ā -Honestly he'd probably love thatĀ
-You two would joke around pretty much all day
Ā -He'd even give you some skulls and things he'd collected from unclaimed bodies.
Ā -When you go scavenging for bones, you better be prepared to have a partner.
-Sometimes he allows you to read his books, but only a select few for them. -He's not afraid to show you who he truly is.Ā
Ā -You've seen his eyes, you love their colour, sometimes you joke about how he might be radioactive.Ā
Ā -You mock noblemen together all the time (It totally pisses Ciel off)
Time to write fanfiction about my comfort characters comforting a reader with trypanophobia as a way to prepare for the insane amount of anxiety I am inevitably going to feel soon when I get my shot. (Oh... On that note... I haven't seen many people write trypanophobia comfort fics... So... if you want more of this, let me know!)
Editing note: I don't know how this slipped by me but I didn't finish these (most likely because I was literally going in to get my first shot and I was freaking out)
Trigger warning: Mentions of hypodermic needles and descriptions of panic attacks
Mello x reader with trypanophobia
You and Mello were relaxing on the couch together, listening to the news. He was reading, and you were just sitting there.
That was when...
"The health administration has now moved onto phase 3 which will include all members of the public ages 12 and over"
You froze... Panic flooded your veins.
Your breathing became very shallow.
It felt as if you couldn't breathe.
Tears flooded your vision before trickling down your face
Mello peered up from his book.
Immediately, he set his book down turning his full attention to you.
"Babe, what's wrong?" He asked.
"Needles" you managed to choke out.
Mello nodded in understanding.
He was observant...
He noticed every time you got your flu shot each year...
How you'd shake with fear... you would have panic attacks over the very thought.
In fact it was kind of hard to ignore...
"Love, I swear, I'll be with you every step of the way."
ššššššššššššššššššššššš
The day of your appointment came.
Mello had been vaccinated before you and was approved to accompany you as a support person.
While you waited in the car, you had a panic attack.
it was about the same as before.
Mello leaned over the console
He took your hand, gently caressing it with his thumb as he looked into your eyes.
"Hey, look at me... Take a deep breath in.......And let it out....... I'm here with you, You're not alone. If you need a distraction, I can think of something. It'll all be okay, my love."
You followed everything he said and felt just a little bit more relaxed... but not by much.
When you were ready, you exited the car together, ensuring your masks were on.
He held your hand the entire way to the clinic.
As you sat in the waiting room, he wrapped an arm around you.
When the doctor called you for your turn, you turned to Mello nervously.
He took the hint and got up, leading you to the doctor's office.
He sat across from you.
"Hey, see that poster on the roof there?" He said eyes flicking between you, the doctor and the poster.
You looked up and your eyes focused in on a brightly colored poster stuck to a ceiling tile.
"I want you to read it to me" Mello continued.
By now, the doctor had prepared the injection.
You slowly read the text... something about the affects of smoking on the lungs.
Before you knew it the doctor was done, it was over, you didn't even notice the needle.
Mello smiled and stood up.
"I'm so proud of you! Hmm.. how about we go get some ice cream?"
You nodded excitedly and followed behind him ready to get out of the awful hospital and spend the rest of your day being fussed over by your smazing boyfriend
Vandy reacting to his MC always having cold hands and sticking them up his shirt to warm them up? Esp at night when heās trying to sleep?
Thank you for requesting, Anon! Lol this one sound like fun to write!! I get cold hands all the time, I wish I had a Vandy to warm them up!!!!!
-Your bedroom was constantly cold.Ā
-Vanderwood liked it cold.Ā
-You, however, didnāt like it very much.Ā
-You had tried to turn up the thermostat or close the windows, but heād always turn the thermostat down and open the windows up again.Ā
-The coldest part of your body was your hands.Ā
-One night, you were laying in bed next to Vanderwood.
-He was sleeping, you were wide awake and your hands were like iciclesĀ
-You had been trying to warm them up with the blanket and your own body.
-But of course, you werenāt warm enough.
-Then you had an idea.Ā
-CUDDLE WITH VANDERWOOD
-You noticed he was pretty damn warm.Ā
-You shoved your hands in his shirt waking him up.
-āAH HOLY SHIT YOUR HANDS ARE LIKE ICICLES, MC! DONāT DO THAT!!!!āĀ
-āYouāre so warm, I couldnāt resist.āĀ
-He grunted before trying to go back to sleep.
-He made a mental note to buy you mittens in the morning.
Artist/ fanfic writer 20 they/them ā š³ļøāā§ļø trans rights are human rights š³ļøāā§ļø Astarion brainrot is going strong.. save me
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