I Think I’m Just A Little Too Autistic For Most People
I think I’m just a little too autistic for most people
Like I’m definitely a low support needs autistic person in the sense that I can navigate reality on my own, understand complicated things more or less fully: all to say, I’m not intellectually challenged (not say I’m some genius lol).
But I’m weird. When masking, I speak and write in a very formal, stilted, clear manner. I make every effort to be understood, or at least hopefully not misinterpreted. The only times that I come across as emotionally present are either when I’m very heavily masking and doing emotional regulation for someone else, or if I’m not masking at all because I’m comfortable around someone. They’re very different kinds of emotionally expressive though.
The problem is, I still do the stilted speech thing even when not masking if I’m trying to say something difficult or make sure I’m being coherent. And the thing is, I am fully cognizant that my mannerisms are off-putting. Sure people might tell me they don’t mind, but I’m not stupid - I can tell if they’re lying, even if it takes me some time to notice.
But I’m not just weird in my mannerisms. I have very niche, even cringe interests (I am held hostage by Sonic the Hedgehog and I won’t shut up about Deep Space Nine). I really suck at small talk, and love listening to people I care about talk about whatever they’re passionate about. I think that can breed a sense that I don’t contribute the same amount to conversation, even if cognitively I’m fully present. I’m quick to get attached to people I find comfortable around, especially because that’s so rare for me. And the quickness is probably what prospective friends find the most off-putting.
It feels like the only other person that will understand me is just someone who’s a carbon copy of myself. And I’ve yet to find her. Hell, I’m not even entirely confident we’d get along.
But I guess I have to hold out hope there’s at least one person that will get me. Because if there isn’t, what’s even the point? Why am I living in loneliness if not for the shred of hope that it’ll eventually end?
It just hurts to be abandoned again. And again. And again.
And it’s getting harder and harder to be strong/brave enough to even give people a shot.
More Posts from Jem-jams and Others
While it has not improved my opinion of the game, I have discovered the transfem Sonic mod for Sonic Unleashed Recompiled (thank you for featuring it on your website) and I adore her so much
new internet rule: every bit uploaded to the internet on April 1st, or every post scheduled in advance to be public on April 1st, should be scrubbed automatically come April 2nd. I should be allowed to avoid the internet for a day and not be served the slop afterwards by algorithms that think I accidentally missed it
When a trans woman says “do not call me dude or bro,” that is not an invitation to explain to her why you are going to call her that. Simply do not use the words. If you are told “do not misgender me,” it does not matter how much you explain how you aren’t misgendering her when you use a term that’s misgendering her. It does not matter if you don’t think you’re misgendering her by using a masculine term in a gender neutral way.
All you are telling her is that you do not care about her as a person and will misgender her as long as you feel like you are justified in doing so, which is the exact same logic used by transphobes in misgendering trans people. You cannot tell someone what their gender is. You cannot see their true gender, better than them, and decide what words you want to use.
When you say you are using bro or dude in a gender neutral way, you are not calming her down. You are telling her that she is to blame for the dysphoria caused by your misgendering.
All you need to do is not use the words she tells you not to use. Oftentimes it’s two words. All you need to do is not call one person two specific words. It’s tiring seeing people willing to die on this hill, defending their right to misgender trans women because they can’t let go of two words for a little bit.
I love trans women's voices. I love their voices so much. It doesn't matter how little or how much they voice train. How feminine or how masculine or how androgynous their voice sounds. I love each and every one of their voices. Maybe it's just a natural response, since I'm hearing the voice of people whom I identify and find safety in. But whenever I hear a trans girl speak I instantly feel a lot more at ease. I know that I am not alone here. I know that there's so so many more of my people than just me.
They're also just soso cute when their voices whimper and whine, or growl and moan with carnal desire. Heheh idk I just really like tgirl voice no matter what :3
Thank you for reading my silly gay post. Have a great day, I love you
t4t will save us all.
I think everyone should be in 2024 now so Happy new year, and hope the year treats you well 🍾 🎉
Morning Sermon
Who else?
Bullnose
I want to be mutuals with every trans woman on Tumblr.
Not just because we’re all hot, funny, unhinged, powerful, emotionally intelligent, and dangerously full of eldritch energy—but because once we’re all connected, we can unionize.
Step 1: Take over Tumblr.
Step 2: Take over the internet.
Step 3: Take turns writing smut posts and reblog-chain them into one continuous, increasingly horny and chaotic sapphic epic.
It’s not just about power.
It’s about community.
It’s about craft.
It’s about gay rights and collaborative storytelling.
We are the revolution, and we are NSFW tagged.
Working a customer-facing job as a trans person in the current climate should earn you hazard pay and I'm not kidding
