It Really Trips Me Out When People Were Showing Mad Love At A Physical Point In Time, But Now I Don’t
it really trips me out when people were showing mad love at a physical point in time, but now i don’t see you and you acting like a stranger. what was the point of showing love? what did you want from me? 🤔
More Posts from Jailposes and Others
these sudden spike on covid reports gotta be fake news, they trying to make Joe look good like he cleaned this shit up by the time he’s in office smh nah no way
maybe there not exactly numbers worth posting everywhere else but here it is.
i’m not disappointed in my numbers more so dissatisfied. this year has been nothing but rebuilding my infrastructure musically.
i stopped making music in 2018 and didn’t really make music all 2019. 2020 i’m back home and have been really able to focus on this shit. i feel like i spent the first half of 2020 making music trying to get back into it and it was challenging af for a while. But since November actually God talked to me about music and he said all i had to do was ask for help. and that’s all i’ve been doing. literally nothing has changed not how i approach making music, my thought process and everything is so much more in-depth and i’m really shaping into who i really have been all along. i finally feel like an artist. i don’t just make beats i truly make art and i hope you can see i put my heart into my music.
2021 is going to be a crazy flip on all of this i just know it. i can’t explain how shits happening even tho nothing has happened yet. but i’m definitely coming how i always wanted to and i couldn’t be more excited. Thank you to any fans here with me even if it is just a few of us. for now. but get hype cause i’m deadass trying to build a community and a safe space for all of us (online especially). Much love 🤎🤞🏾
1.20.19
Man life is fucking crazy. i think i need to start documenting my life more. i need a damn diary. i just want to share everything, every part of me. im so human. soooo soooo so human. its so hard for people to understand me, sometimes i feel people dont even try. I know everyone feels this way but it feels sooo much worse for me. All this shit thats happening and im experiencing its just like bro why is this shit happening to me? i dont get any of this. i just want love to be existent everywhere. what am i going to do? i feel like ive been so distracted from who i am and my purpose ive looked out the window when i should be looking straight ahead focused. i dont feel special anymore, i know i am but thats not enough ive realized. my physical being doesn’t matter it doesn’t mean anything. my spirit is my essence. why have i been so jaded by life? im so hurt. what do i do? how do i keep fighting. but Slipknot is playing in the background so i wont fall. im so fucking weak tho. my bestfriend has been missing for a week. its so weird. with all the relationships i have with my neighborhood friends and how different my relationship with each and every one of them is. Its so much pain behind my door. i just remember growing up with you and meeting you for the first time. when i let your brothers see my magazine but not you because i didn’t know you yet. i had trust issues early bro im sorry for that day maybe thats why you snaked me so many times, haha. Man i love you even from moments that broke my heart, you never really remembered my birthday but you always a day or two off so man i love you for the constant effort every year, i remember trying to express my love for you with a handshake and a hug, i told you i loved you and you didn’t say it back, but i know you love me bro i know you do, even the one time you almost called me your bestfriend, i still remember your voice i said you were my bestfriend and wanted to make it clear and you said i got you bro youre my bestfr.. and that was all i heard. i think the saddest part is weren’t even kids maybe we were like 17? 18? shit maybe even 19. and ive known you since i was in 5th grade. ever since those moments i questioned if you were my bestfriend. i haven’t really had one since you tbh. so i guess you really were my bestfriend. at the end of the day. its so surreal. idk if youre alive or not. you were such a great soul i hope god spares your soul. You got the whole city looking for you my guy and everyone has had nothing but good things to say about you. i know how tiring that is, so many people you showed love to. We really are the same lowkey im just a cooler version of you lol. man im dead inside without you. there just an absence of me. i just want to escape everything i just want to feel really good for once. my life is just kind of unstable. im not sure if all this is happening because im about to be someone important, i know God has to keep me within his arms, not within his reach, but his arms. i fail him every day. he still chose me, he still loves me. i still fight for him no matter what. no one will change that. i will not fight for anyone that thinks because they’re above me in some sort of caliber i have to respect and fear them, save them so to speak. You cant do anything to me, period. i dont serve you, my destiny is not any mans hands and that will never change. everyday i wake up feeling like someone special, important, different, destined. but what am i really doing with myself. why am i so stupid, slow and lazy. im trying so hard but i aint trying at all. how crazy is that. idk how to educate people and put them on when they dont listen. you always gotta fucking prove something to people first and i guess thats why im chasing music right now. thats really my whole purpose for making music, for wanting to be in this industry. i got something to say. im not ready to be a leader or a king as was destined for me but i gotta fucking do the job. im sorry im crippled as fuck right now. i just really hope all the people that are by my side and join my side can and will stick by me no matter what. my heart is always in the right place, never forget that. and i wont either. everyone does dirt dont forget that. we can win but only together, i just hope i mean enough for you all to defend some day, when i need you the most, dead or alive. my hearts a little too big and im sure no one will be able t0\o understand what i truly mean. it’ll always be an understatement because fuck niggas being using these words and phrases religiously but dont mean it and yet again another reason why you always gotta prove shit to people. nobody takes my word for my word. and y’all wonder why i dont speak often smh. anything that comes out of my mouth now i will always mean and stand by 100%. but niggas dont trust me, my own team dont even trust me entirely.
I’m getting better at stepping out of my comfort zone and stepping into self
Divine Masculine Healing session #1
I’m not really scared to share myself and my story. my flaws. my humanness. these weaknesses have now become my strengthening during my development. Now i’m not bout to sit here and fucking scream at the top of a mountain for the world to see me exposed but those who are here are clearly meant to get the message, don’t you agree?
You can do anything, face anything, become anything, and possess anything you desire. do you believe in miracles? then stop limiting yourself. believe in every aspect of who you are, be confident. you literally never know how the universe will show up for you 🤎
Say hello to the real me 🙏🏾
Just need a moment to say Happy C Day and thank you to this man for everything he’s done. it was crazy to see your rise since 2010. The Hussle Way was the first song i ever heard from you and since then i was in it for life. TMC.
aye gang i found my camera and i couldn’t be happier 🥲
