Every Fic After Tcoptp Feels Like Whiplash Tcoptp Was The Slowest Of All Slowburns And Now Im Like Literallt

Painful Bartylus to non toxic rosekiller my love

Painful bartylus where [pre emotional growth] Regulus was just excited someone liked him but Barty didn’t like Regulus he loved him

And Regulus didn’t love him back

Painful Bartylus where Reggie was not in the best mental space and couldn’t handle all of Barty’s Bartyness, told him he was too much, too loud, too weird even though Barty was trying so hard not to be

Painful Bartylus where the breakup wasn’t a big deal for Regulus because he figured neither of them were really that emotionally invested and they became friends again immediately but for Barty it was just a desperate attempt to keep Reg in his life

Then Evan Rosier who saw it all happen and couldn’t say anything because these were his two best friends but all he could think was how he could do it so much better, how he and Barty would be so good to each other

Evan Rosier who got the chance about a year later when he and Barty kissed on New Year’s Day and then proceeded to not stop kissing

Barty who was so terrified of losing Evan too and Evan finding it hard because he’s not good at emotions but in every way he can, showing Barty he loved him with hugs and handholds and playing with his hair and Evan’s lap becoming Barty’s new resting place

Evan figuring out he’s ace and worrying Barty won’t want him anymore

Barty saying I love you for the first time when Evan finally breaks down over it 

Evan not being able to say it back straight away and Barty not minding because he already knew from all the ways Evan showed him already

Evan finally saying it and Barty nearly bursting into tears because honestly he never thought in a million years he could ever be this happy

And because I’m on a roll w it

Regulus finally doing better when he starts dating James, Regulus who notices how it affects James when people call him weird or too much, Regulus who sees how different Barty is with Evan than he ever was with him

Regulus who REALISES.

Regulus who finally apologises.

lily asks the "highly intelligent and mysterious dog of foresight" if there's a chance that James likes her (she's a bit oblivious) and it starts vigorously nodding its head (it's literally just Sirius) (#wingman)

Regulus wearing one of Remus’ jumpers because he stole it from James who store it from Sirius who stole it from Remus and now Sirius is going feral because the entire school thinks Remus and Regulus are dating

Regulus doesn’t have an owl, he has a crow that sits on his shoulder and glares at everyone

incidentally, the crow loves James

everyone’s always talking about how james is such an amazing dad, and yeah, he’s awesome, but can we take a moment to talk about regulus as a parent? i mean, let’s just agree that he’s sooo attentive, and sooo loving, and he always lets their kid hang out with him in the kitchen while he’s cooking or cleaning, just listening to them go off about random stuff like, "daddy, mr. snuggles (aka the stuffed bunny) said he doesn’t like carrots. we had a fight." and regulus will give this exaggerated shocked look and be like, "no way? seriously? you’re telling me?" all wide-eyed and dramatic, and they’ll just go back and forth like that for hours, because their kid’s got the same endless chatter as james

Barty “if your dad traumatizes you, traumatize him back” Crouch Jr.

headcanon that sometimes if remus had a visible scar from the full moon, the other marauders faked similar injuries so remus wouldn’t stand out and be suspected

Oh, "Sirius is the big spoon", "Remus is the big spoon"

wRONG

They are SPAGHETTI

They are a MESS OF LIMBS

If someone walks in on them, they can't tell what the FUCK is going on

Gender is not the same as sex. Gender is what you identify with, while sex is what Sirius Black is having with Remus Lupin tonight. Stay tuned.

regulus black responding to the slightest inconvenience with “i’m gonna kms” is so essential to me