Imasociallyawkwardtrashcan - Socially Awkward Trashcan

Alfie Caine (British, b. 1996)

Foxglove Farmhouse, 2022

Vinyl and acrylic paint on canvas

i just remembered that post on reddit or whatever where people were like "this has to be cillian murphy because the first image you see when you google him is hideous" hold on it's so funny do you guys know what i'm talking about

Oh shit I relate too much

sometimes being nonbinary is just about looking at gerard way and thinking "god I wish I looked like that"

WIP. Pretty sure I invented a new music genre today so I get to name it. I am calling it yarble-core. It yarbles. To make yarble-core you need to make it yarble.

Wait what? Do- Do you think my English workbook might be right......? What is going to happen? @danielhowell @amazingphil

A software tester walks into a bar. Runs into a bar. Crawls into a bar. Dances into a bar. Flies into a bar. Jumps into a bar. And orders: a beer. 2 beers. O beers. 99999999 beers. a lizard in a beer glass. -1 beer. "qwertyuiop" beers. Testing complete. A real customer walks into the bar and turns on a screen reader. The bar goes up in flames.

A fun fact about me is that I'm actually a licensed priest. A few years back I got one of those online-ordinations from one of those hippy-dippy everything-is-god-if-you-think-about-it sects, I got licensed to marry people to each other. And I was super fuckin' bummed when it turned out that they charged like 50 bucks to actually mail out legally actionable documentation of the accreditation, because if it had been any cheaper I'd have been fucking unstoppable with that power. I was just going to walk down the street all day marrying random assholes to each other. Pointing at random strangers on the bus and creating an indelible marital link between them with the power vested in me by the everything-that's-actually-god-if-you-think-about-it. Shutting down arguments with my friend groups by threatening to marry the ones with the least chemistry to each other. I was gonna overtake infidelity as the leading cause of divorce in America. Every courthouse clerk in America was gonna want my head on a stick. Alas, I'm a cheapskate

JUST LET ME BE.

sometimes i genuinely worry about the people who didnt find bandom until a couple of years ago?? like are you finding all the content you need to see?? have you seen gerard way pop out of a birthday cake on mtv?? did you see fall out boys wind power commercial??? did you see andy throw water over an interviewer??? did you see that episode of mtv cribs where halfway through patrick just rocks up with petes mum carrying all her groceries?? are you getting everything you need?? let me guide you