A Fun Fact About Me Is That I'm Actually A Licensed Priest. A Few Years Back I Got One Of Those Online-ordinations

A fun fact about me is that I'm actually a licensed priest. A few years back I got one of those online-ordinations from one of those hippy-dippy everything-is-god-if-you-think-about-it sects, I got licensed to marry people to each other. And I was super fuckin' bummed when it turned out that they charged like 50 bucks to actually mail out legally actionable documentation of the accreditation, because if it had been any cheaper I'd have been fucking unstoppable with that power. I was just going to walk down the street all day marrying random assholes to each other. Pointing at random strangers on the bus and creating an indelible marital link between them with the power vested in me by the everything-that's-actually-god-if-you-think-about-it. Shutting down arguments with my friend groups by threatening to marry the ones with the least chemistry to each other. I was gonna overtake infidelity as the leading cause of divorce in America. Every courthouse clerk in America was gonna want my head on a stick. Alas, I'm a cheapskate

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

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imasociallyawkwardtrashcan

1 year ago

"homosexuality is unnatural! there's only two genders! it's a sin-"

I'm sorry, have you seen NATURE???

ALSO THE ARTIST IS HUMON, FIND THEM AT HUMONCOMICS.COM!! was so sure I had included that but apparently I forgot, so sorry!

"homosexuality Is Unnatural! There's Only Two Genders! It's A Sin-"

and there's so many more species than this that exhibit homosexuality, varying genders, etc. SO! MANY!

it's very much a natural thing. it always has been. unfortunately, while homosexuality is found in many species, homophobia is only found in one

EDIT: added a keep reading cause this is a long post lol

EDIT: everyone in the comments needs to shut up or I will turn comments off, stop arguing, jeez

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imasociallyawkwardtrashcan

5 years ago

I - I don’t care (fall out boy)

m - March to the sea (twenty one pilots)

a - AMBULANCE (my chemical romance)

s - Sorry (nothing but thieves)

o - Ok ok? (half•alive)

c - Cancer (my chemical romance)

i - I lied (electric century)

a - Ain’t no rest for the wicked (cage the elephant)

l - Let you get away (electric century)

l - Lemon boy (cavetown)

y - You’ll be fine (jan walker)

a - Aawake at night (half•alive)

w - When the day met the night (panic! at the disco)

k - Kill your friends (my chemical romance)

w - We need to talk (waterparks)

a - Ain’t it fun (paramore)

r - Ride (twenty one pilots)

d - Disenchanted (my chemical romance)

t - Thank you for the venom (my chemical romance)

r - Rare (waterparks)

a - Arrow (half•alive)

s - Summertime (my chemical romance)

h - Hard times (paramore)

c - Cigarette daydream (Cage the elephant)

a - All the angels (my chemical romance)

n - Not today (twenty one pilots)

tags: @san--jose--sharpedos @pink-punk-metal @justafankid @theodditygarden @onesnatchyboi @alexthearofish @my-anxiety-hasanxiety @giraffewithfeelings @pleaseloathemyveryexistence @foxdigester

not enough tags but I just don’t know that much people :)

Rules: Spell out your URL using song titles. Then, tag as many people as there are letters in your URL. Thank you, @purrvaire for tagging me!

B - Binary Mind by Ra Ra Riot

Y - You Were On My Mind by Lucius

T - This Charming Man by The Smiths

H - Happy Hell by The Rumble Strips

U - U-Boats by Alexandre Desplat

N - No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine

D - Dorian by Agnes Obel

E - Encyclopedia of Classic Takedowns by AC Newman

R - Re-Invent Myself? by The Holloways

Tagging: @cuppatardis @wildespen @wildesgatsby @keen2meecha @homosexual-having-tea @salutationsrisley @satans-classics @ego-amare-noctis @spacesapphist

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imasociallyawkwardtrashcan

10 months ago