Illustratum Paradoxon
With a calming atmosphere, “Harmony” by Cestica finds a perfect balance of night and day. Where would you fall in the divide? Night or day?
Written: 1•30•19
Soul Connected
I was looking for me But I found you While soul searching I found truth That everything was in my head I was so used to past abuse Little did I know How my soul searching Would bring me to you I searched for my soul But my soul searched for yours Soul searching opened so many doors It’s like we vibe better We know we can weather any storm Sex was always amazing But now it’s more than our flesh Our souls make love Why should they get second best So many walls broken through I’m so glad my soul found you In the process of it all We learned the true meaning of This union Has nothing to do with rings, Vows, papers, or the fate of Divorce loomin’
2•4•19
I sit here with my past besides me as if it’s another living being that I must feed and nurture, but the more I feed my past the darker my future becomes. The past swallows me whole into a sea of darkness and once again I’m lost. I’ve lost hope rising from the ashes. Rising from the dead. I wish my past had someone else to cater to them. I wish I could sit alone in silence without the whispers of failures in my ear constantly reminding me of the monster that I once was.
Illustratum Paradoxon
*This is what healing looks like, it’s raw and it hurts like hell*
Ain’t that the truth.
Sometimes my empathy turns to apathy.
At times my rage is hard to contain.
Why must I feel so intensely.
When I’m sad my world is crumbling.
When I’m mad you’ll feel my wrath.
I’m loving and kind.
I’m mean and moody.
I’m tired guys.
Emotionally.
Mentally.
Physically.
Tired.
Whyyy lmaooooo
the scariest thing of having your brain blocking out bits of traumatic memories is that you’re always afraid people won’t believe you because you don’t remember enough