Translation: New Project Started

*Steph is crying after a breakup*

Cass: There there, Steph.

Steph, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Cass: Great question—

—

Damian: It’s time to turn this into a real business.

Tim: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?

Cass: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?

Duke: I handle our accounting.

—

Tim: Just say when.

Damian: When.

Tim: I-

Tim: Now or later?

Damian: Oh.

—

Damian: What’s it like being tall?

Damian: Is it nice?

Damian: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Jason: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Cass: It was one time!

—

Tim, shooing Jason away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

—

Dick: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for the cats?

Damian: They need to learn how to protect us.

—

Tim: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Haley's Circus visits Gotham when Bruce is 18. The Graysons fall, leaving their toddler an orphan, and the circusmaster whispers something about the Court of Owls before booking it out of Gotham and leaving baby Dickie behind.

Alfred takes in Dick and Bruce is all fired up to investigate this Court of Owls. He always knew there was something seedy about Gotham and he's determined to get to the bottom of this!

Featuring: baby Dickie as the most adorable little toddler; teenage!Bruce in full detective mode but without any training; the Rogues as a grad student support group that are mainly trying to survive higher education while keeping their precocious friend from ending up in a dumpster.

Harvey: so whose turn is it to follow Bruce this weekend?

Crane: I have an exam on Monday, not it.

Pamela: I need to be in the greenhouse this weekend.

Edward: if I have to watch him try to stalk Falcone one more time I'm going to scream.

Dickie: don't be sad! here, sticker!

Everyone: :coos:

Harvey: wait, why are we watching the toddler? where's Bruce?

Harley: oh, I saw Dickie in the trees hiding from some people in owl masks, so I grabbed him.

Harvey: ...but Halloween's not until October?

king of rizz™ 🥂

The first rule of driving the Batmobile is to have fun and be yourself

I turned on closed captions for the Swedish Chef and I just started weeping with laughter.

「The story 'Life and Death Companions' wants to continue.」

[ The Cannibal's Delight. ] [ The Lone Monarch. ]

two sticker sheets coming to my shop later this month!

bluesky

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)