The First Rule Of Driving The Batmobile Is To Have Fun And Be Yourself

it cracks me up that there was a secret society of American journalists who, from 1965 to 2006, slipped the phrase "it was as if some occult hand..." into articles

this all started when one guy used the phrase in an article and his friends thought it was so hilariously out of place that they all started using it

it drove their editors crazy but they kept doing it

that was like. the whole thing. they called it the Order of the Occult Hand and all it did was put a random metaphor into as many news articles as possible

they picked a new phrase in the early 00s, which has not been revealed yet- to my knowledge

I think I am officially Fandom Old. I am so worn out from the arguments on who's the top or the bottom (who cares), what is allowed to be written (anything you want, bejeebus), what is Problematic (I know, just tag it), what other people Should Do (they Should live their lives free of judgment). There isn't a Right Way to do things. Tag your stuff appropriately, don't read stuff you don't want to read, and leave other people (me) alone.

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

i love random damian skills that never get brought back they're so funny

Like yeah, of course this ten year old can mimic voices of teenagers and fully grown adults enough to trick THE FUCKING BATMANS SECURITY SYSTEM IN HIS MOST SECURE BASE. of course he can do that

also of course he can survive being stabbed in a vital organ. yeah. he can just...move it aside from the knife that he was stabbed with and heal fully while he sleeps. just move HIS LIVER out the way. I'm sure tim would appreciate that skill for his spleen but whatever.

Childhood can be scary.

A collection of some of my hand-drawn horror looping animations!

Can we please talk about how awfully rich the project sekai cast is.

- More more jump is composed of three reformed idols. If that's not enough, they also do shows fairly often and I bet those tickets sell well.

- Shizuku is also a model.

- And if that's not enough, Papa Hinomori is a well known artist.

- the Tenmas are pretty rich (just take a look at their house).

- Also Ichika afforded to buy a Miku software so she's not poor either.

- Shinodad is also a well known artist, the Shinonomes live fairly comfortably if I remember correctly.

- Toya is like the second richest character in the game.

- Ken doesn't act rich but that doesn't mean he's not a well known artist and if you've read any of the vbs area convos you know the RADder copies still sell after all these years

- Emu is the richest character in the game. I don't think I even have to specify why. The Otoris literally own an airline.

- Wxs also do shows all the time. Ticket money part 2

- Kanadad probably struggled financially after his failure as an artist, but Kanade doesn't only make enough profit to survive but also pays Honami every week or so. Also, she has really neat equipment in her room, so Kanadad used to have a fair amount of cash.

- Everyone who goes at Miya girl is automatically rich. It's a PREP SCHOOL

- Also Mafumom pays Mafuyu for grad school and I don't think that's a cheap miracle.

- Not only that but Niigo are probably the most popular group out of the cast, their channel has a lot of followers and their videos get thousands of views. This actually makes me question if they like. Split the money somehow. Or do they just give it to Kanade because no way she's living off of her grandma's pension.

- imagine Niigo getting the youtube golden play button because I need this to actually happen now

i swear to god that social cue wasnt there before

*Steph is crying after a breakup*

Cass: There there, Steph.

Steph, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Cass: Great question—

—

Damian: It’s time to turn this into a real business.

Tim: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?

Cass: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?

Duke: I handle our accounting.

—

Tim: Just say when.

Damian: When.

Tim: I-

Tim: Now or later?

Damian: Oh.

—

Damian: What’s it like being tall?

Damian: Is it nice?

Damian: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Jason: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Cass: It was one time!

—

Tim, shooing Jason away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

—

Dick: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for the cats?

Damian: They need to learn how to protect us.

—

Tim: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

No joke is one-size-fits-all, but adding "but I remain optimistic" at the end of any somewhat-speculating statement makes it funny, taking a different tone in each.

Adding it to the end of something positive gives it an unexpected twist - implying that whatever the good thing that happened was, it wasn't what you expected or hoped to happen, but you're yet to give up hope of whatever the fuck you've now vaguely implied towards might still happen. "He survived and is expected to make a full recovery, but I remain optimistic."

Adding it to a neutral statement implies that you think something can be done about it, funniest if the statement is something that obviously can't be affected. "Apparently it's tuesday tomorrow, but I remain optimistic."

And the bleakest, most hopeless statements just become bleakly funny by the grim absurdity. "About 30 seconds remain until impact, and the chances of any of us surviving the crash are zero. But I remain optimistic."