Here's A Prompt: 18-“did I Ever Tell You How Beautiful Your Eyes Are?”

things that have happened at work today:

-a man paid for the tables next to him’s meal

-a man gave me a $25 dollar tip on top of his $50 dollar bill

-i swept the same area 11 times.

-i spilled ranch on my hand at least twice

-i carried 9 cups in 2 hands

-three grown men ordered fruit punch and honey barbecue wings

-a young child flung himself off the booth because ketchup touched a piece of chicken on his plate. after he dipped one in ketchup

-6 old men came in and ordered they’re usual. i have never seen these men before. apparently they go there every day for lunch. i have worked here for almost a week.

-apparently my boss feeds the crows. today a very large one came and sat next to my car staring me in the eyes

Please

Concept: a movie theater that only shows Harry Potter films. The movies will be in 4D. The temperature will drop when dementors are present. Fans will blow on you during quidditch scenes. Enticing smells will be pumped in during feast scenes but don’t worry about feeling hungry because the theater will serve Bertie Botts, treacle tart, drumsticks, butterbeer, chocolate frogs and those tiny little pies that Mrs. Weasley makes. Instead of loyalty cups, you get discounts if you wear a Weasley sweater.

The nose is a double barrel snotgun.

why buy the cow? - John Mulaney

$tone Cold Killa

love

I’m whet 

Sometimes the help you need isn’t the help you want. Call 1-800-273-8255 if you’re thinking of suicide.

damien haas reblog if you agree

Princess Diana Giuseppe Ross

If you have a cat please reblog this with its name please and thank you

ASOUE Savage Moments and Random Facts.

Sunny Baudelaire says “Yeet” for goodbye. (pg. 179 of TRR)

Klaus Baudelaire is a savage. “And you are being stupid with an S!” (pg.74 of TWW)

more when i find them

I dont think I can describe the fear this video gives me