hemogoblin-s

Latest Posts by hemogoblin-s

Im starting to think your fetish isn't based in Marxist theory...

what if I'm balding in silence

he wouldnt hurt a fly. he would hurt other things he just really likes bugs

HEAVY on the put your dogs in life jackets! with the designer breeds and mixes nowadays, most dogs either dont know how or physically cannot swim!

unless they are specifically a water breed they should have a life jacket, they should have one anyways regardless if the water is too deep to touch

What's the most basic thing you've had to explain to someone for their own safety?

I spend a lot of time in my career and social life begging people to wear life jackets. I've taught courses on water safety and rescues (teaching people to get back back into boats after falling out or capsizing etc.) and have found that in general, people tend to both overestimate their ability to swim and underestimate the strength of currents, the effects of cold water, and the actual distance between their boat and land on the horizon.

Please just wear your life jackets and PLEASE put your dogs in life jackets too!

i keep the amulet to have something to blame when things go wrong

You can survive almost anything through the right combination of:

Bitching and moaning

Hater-ology

Doing a goofy little bit about it

Having a buddy say "that's so fucked up" at intermittent points (you can also be your own buddy)

Destroying the cursed amulet you carry everywhere, why do you even have that thing

this does not have nearly enough notes

served 2 deployments in the thumb war. I can still hear the counting

I think some of you forgot that autistic people sometimes act strange and say things that are poorly worded and speak with incorrect tone and misunderstand or miss social cues because they are autistic

yes my long little babies!!

Let’s be long with mama

the only thing you shouldnt touch if its on the ground is butterflies, the oils on your hand can damage the protective layer on their wings!

Baby bird season is incoming and I’d like to remind everyone that birds do not have a significant sense of smell. Bird parents will not reject birdlets because you have handled them.

If you see smol birbs with few or no feathers on the ground, you can safely put them back into their nest, bird parents will still care for them.

If you see smol birbs with some or most feathers on the ground, please leave them there, as bird parents are probably nearby watching and feeding.

also for anyone not aware, especially with people not wanting to vaccinate pets, the ONLY way to test for rabies in animals (pre-symptomatic) is to cut off their head and send the brain stem in for testing.

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

its Jesus’s fursona

Okay fully if I were hearing this story (LOTR) for the first time (rather than reading it for the first time haha) and a guy invited strangers into a blatantly Germanic-Old English hall and said to leave the weapons at the door (this at least is normal enough! Occasionally results in duels to the death w/e) and that these were “dark days” I would be fucking panicking. I’d be like “the lads are going to DIE they are going to be LOCKED IN and BURNED ALIVE. “Thatched with gold” ok man I know an IRON HOUSE MOTIF WHEN I SEE ONE. I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. IS THERE A LADY IN THIS HALL, HUH JRR? IS SHE GONNA BURN THEM AND HERSELF ALIVE IN IT CANT FOOL ME, JRR. Can’t believe this is a red herring I am suffering. He did this to panic his medievalist friends I swear. This was a trap designed for CS Lewis’s personal anxiety.

we can all agree to do it but 33 of yall better fucking commit

hey does anyone wanna do the funniest thing ever

HE HAS NO MORE HEMOGLOBIN. HE HEMOGLOBINNED

so close. i an a hemo GOBLIN. as in a goblin of the hemo

dash is dead im teleporting to the past

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard?max_post_id=606474489540042752

im afraid of frogs, youre making me cry

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

hahahaha… amateurs

i hate when im horny so i open up porn okay seems reasonable, but then im on the main page and im like, eh. this is just people having sex.

I just want to get dicked down again =/

I feel like Katniss when they made her ass do the Hunger Games a second time

no more situations i've had enough

Cabin by Sandis Helvigs

My favorite thing to do before executing a risky maneuver is to loudly proclaim to anyone nearby that "I'm young, I'm fantastic, and I'm never gonna die". This is firstly to pump myself up, secondly because if I succeed I'll be proven right in front of an audience, and thirdly because it is the funniest possible thing to say immediately before being horrifically mangled in a completely dumbfuck sort of way

Larry the Cat, the government-appointed Chief Mouser of Downing Street, has now outlasted 4 UK Prime Ministers and one monarch.

everyone knows being gay is not a choice, you become gay when Brennan Lee Mulligan assigns you a NPC love interest that makes you instantly feel loved

if any of you actually watched the trial you wouldn’t be thinking this way or saying these things. it was proven in court that she doctored images and falsified evidence. she called paparazzi and faked a bruise that was nowhere to be seen the day before or after the shot was taken.

i’m not defending either of them because they were both abusive, physically and verbally, but johnny was the only one to come out of the relationship with actual injuries that were documented by medical professionals.

this was basically a case of a nobody thinking she could get rich off of a very famous man by lying and saying he’s a wife beater. all of his former girlfriends said he was nothing but respectful. amber was just dragging this out for as long as she possibly could. and she still hasn’t paid anybody yet