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Peter Parker: *disintegrates*

The frog that was in his mouth:

Credit: IG @oz_rich1

cat bites

heres something fun, earlier today my cat bit me and now there is an inch long piece of my skin that is very swollen and painful and red on my palm.  

after a few minutes of internet research apparently, cat bites are very infectious and I should see a doctor immediately. 

heres the fun part.

its 3:40 in the morning on a Wednesday and everyone in my house is asleep and my hand hurts like hell and I can’t do anything about it for a few hours which is bad because cat bites can destroy tendons because their dumb stupid little teeth inject bacteria into a part of your body and, because their dumb teeth are so little, the wound closes up and seals the bacteria in.  

I have a very painful closed wound on my palm and I can’t do anything about it for like 5 hours.

it was so fun there, theres a giant ferris wheel on the roof and its like 10$ a ticket and you can do all the floors

WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS

LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND

BUT BIGGER

WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE

since you have read this post you will be told good news tonight. if you reblog this post your best week starts now. if you ignore this post your best week starts now. i just want you to have a good week

The nose is a double barrel snotgun.

Harry: Hey Neville, how are my kids doing at Hogwarts?

Neville: *flashbacks of James in detention for wandering the corridors after curfew, Albus in detention for being caught with his hand down Scorpius Malfoy's pants, Lily in detention for punching a boy who said girls are weak*

Neville: Haha, just peachy! No worries, Harry!

None of you can tell me this is not cannon

it was Guillermo del Toro what do you expect?

pacific rim was really like "our giant monster-killing robots are powered by the tender, intimate, powerful connection of soulmates - romantic, platonic, or familial" and i've never recovered from how the sheer brilliance of that concept made me feel

@staff why did you reblog this?

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i want to know what bears think sometimes