My Bby Got Upset Over A Situation™️ And This Is What I, An Awkward Mexican, Came Up With. :) (11:51pm

"Oh boy,

Your the mountain I can’t go around, cut through or climb."

My Hearts Thoughts

It was always you... Still is... And I'm scared it might always be... Just you.

- My Hearts Thoughts

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

Each time I try to get up, your memory comes back & throws me back down to this pit of missing you. When does this heartbreak end?

-My Hearts Thoughts

I love you, I think to myself as I look at your picture for the millionth time. You don't know it, do you? Did you ever really understand how much I meant every 'I love you'?? You always said you loved me more but how could you know that if you didn't understand how much I love you? I don't know, sometimes I hope you didn't get how much I love you, cuz then I could make that the reason you took me for granted. Yet, deep inside I wonder if you knew and understood, but just didn’t care...

-my hearts thoughts

"I need you so much...

I just want to curl my fingers in the hem of your shirt and bury myself in you...

But that's hers to do...

Not mine...

You'll never be mine...

To need...

Especially not the way I need you."

- My Heart's Thoughts

“You know when you love someone. It hums through every inch of your body. It makes you smile and laugh and cry. It makes you feel alive, so alive, like nothing can ever touch you. You just feel love.”

— Love / Life

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’ “Whatcha mean?” “You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “ And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’ Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE. I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

We both have stories to bury and none of us really know how deep we should dig. The dog keeps bringing the bones back home: he wants to play with our dead, he wants us to toss them just to see them come back again.

And here's how the story goes: I say there is nothing I wouldn't do for you.

You say there is nothing to be done.

I cannot carry the weight of your heart. I cannot carry it with me, it's too much.

So I'll throw it away, I will leave it behind, & I will offer the hole in my chest to another soul, one day, if they are in need of a place to land at the same time.

You say there is no time, only what we choose to do with it.

Good luck. Goodbye. Like sail boats; we’ll shimmy down the stream. It's been a year & I'm still waiting for that night to burn.

& here's how the story goes: everything ends up under the cathedral stones,

everything ends up right where we left it,

And I cannot walk past the old town without it tugging at my clothes.

Look I have zero excuses for this, but the idea popped into my head and now it's in your head, sorry