Latest Posts by harry-potter-scary-o - Page 4

How to see the next step ahead

Source: https://martinrue.com/to-be-productive-be-prepared/

Motivation by itself gives us the willingness to do something, but nothing more. Once we make a start, the game changes and it becomes about knowing how to make progress.

Knowing how to make progress and making progress are two different things, but we often conflate them and treat them as the same thing. We basically jump into the task and start. Only, it’s not really starting because we’re repeatedly stopping to think about design, architecture, security, how it will look, how it will work, which database to use. The list goes on.

But knowing how to make progress before you start is important. Before you start your next task, complete the following in as much detail as possible:

Describe exactly what the new [feature/bug/thing] will do

Describe exactly how it will do it, giving as much technical detail as you can think of now

If it has a visual element, quickly sketch out how it’ll look

If you can do this before you start, you’ll have a good idea of:

What you’re doing and what the definition of complete is

What to add (or what to change) in order to make it happen

Roughly how it looks or feels, which often clarifies details of the point above

Reminders I need sometimes:

You are not causing world hunger if you throw out the lettuce you forgot about, you don't need to feel guilty.

Your followers are not going to die if you don't update your blog or fanfics, you are not their sole source of happiness.

Drinking bottled water might be bad for the environment, but it's also bad if you forget to drink & you get dehydrated.

Eating junk food is better than not eating at all.

Eating cereal for dinner is better than not eating at all.

Writing in your journal/going to therapy/meditating once a month is better than not doing it all.

You're allowed to mask if you need or want to. Masking is not a moral failing.

Other people aren't relying solely on you to cheer them up or to make them feel welcome. If you don't have energy to take care of people today, there are other places and people they can turn to for help. You don't have to take care of everyone.

Your feelings are separate from anyone else's. You can be sad when other people are happy, and happy when other people are sad.

You're allowed to have happy moments during a hard week. That doesn't mean the week hasn't been hard, and it doesn't mean that you're faking happiness. Your feelings can change from minute to minute.

On a lighter + adjacent note i love dis tweet + these QRTs of it ^_^... literally...

writer’s block (dry) = no desire to write, no ability to write (bearable)

writer’s block (wet) = HUGE desire to write, no ability to write (very evil)

POV: mister Devon Price, PhD, telling me that I am right about everything

Source: Unmasking Autism, discovering the new faces of neurodiversity

Wider community benefit to not experiencing adult relationships the way other people do, and not having a line between "acquaintance" and "friend" — If I do interact with others, tend to make people feel "included"... by accident?

When someone says, "pass this gift along to a friend", I immediately think of everyone in my neighborhood I've ever had a friendly interaction with.

I don't experience an "in-group" and an "out-group". i just... interact with people. So when I think of doing something nice for people from church for Christmas, I don't think of it as "outreach" vs "visiting friends". It's all equal to me.

Sometimes it means being overly friendly to someone who wonders why I'm acting "like we're friends" when we're not. Sometimes it means thinking of someone who's desperately lonely and is glad I remembered them. I never know unless they tell me.

Hi everyone,

I found some more information about autistic burnout. According to this article:

“Autistic Burnout is usually a consequence of camouflaging or masking for either an extended period or over a period of time without a break, as it takes a huge amount of effort. It can also be a result of sensory overload, executive functioning demands (juggling too many tasks at once), or stress associated with unexpected change(s).

Over time, burnout can affect a person's overall health as the body's resources are being used, and not being replaced, which also leaves nothing spare for any recovery.”

I’ll leave the link here in case you’d like to read the entire article.

I hope many of you find this helpful.

Autistic Burnout

Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.

It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you're talking about.

You can't accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.

You can't accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.

You can't accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette's Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence

You can't accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.

You can't accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.

You also can't accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn't fool your peers into reaching your position.

You can't accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.

Tldr:

Faking is a conscious choice.

You cannot do it by accident.

If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.

Hi everyone,

I thought I would share this interesting Infograph about ASD I found on Pinterest. I found this very fascinating so I hope you all do too.

Autism Spectrum

This hit home, and I think it will resonate hard with all my creative friends, here. You are amazing and brilliant and I BEG YOU to keep creating!! ❤️❤️❤️

Imagine internalising that guns are the solution to your sensory problems

I'm trying to write a story. What if there was an autistic character who grew up around violence due to living in an area with gang warfare and has frequent experiences with bullying at an inner city school? Also their parents are very neglectful or abusive towards them.

That sounds like it could be a ver interesting story.

Reblog to give the person you reblogged it from the energy to do one (1) chore or maybe many

The Secret Compound is Seven

Remember that time on Star Trek, when space predators enslaved human crew, and forced them to fight virtual nazis, but then virtual French resistance blew up a hole in the holodeck and the French invaded spaceship’s Astrometrics?

Technically it's Codexful Backpack

things i always keep in my backpack: 

the bible (king james edition)

a copy of the U.S. consitution

a copy of my school’s current rulebook

i do this so that whenever someone at school tries to make a point and then defends it by saying ‘it’s in the constitution!’ or ‘it’s from the bible!’ or something else along those lines, i can pull out my own copy and say, ‘where exactly does it say that?’

also it’s just great to confuse people by pulling a fucking book of school rules out of nowhere in order to discuss what qualifies as a dresscode violation.

Amazing

oh shit i saw this like ghostly blue glow so i followed it and its a firefly being ripped up by ants

@funnier-as-a-system

Sexy voice audio analysis theory

It's like adult site comment section PhD thesis

Sexy Samuel L. Jackson 😎

Source ~ Neuroclastic

[Image IDs: Ten slides from Neuroclastic. All descriptions from Neuroclastic.

All images have a black background with candy-colored rainbow text and graphics

Slide 1: image features a rainbow silhouette with a brain full of talk bubbles that have insults in them. Insults include crybaby, sensitive, freak, weirdo, suck up, snowflake, idiot, stupid, loser, boring, try hard, histrionic, gross, etc.

From the silhouette is a talk bubble that reads, "This is not my voice"

Image is titled, "On Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, Codependency, & Identity"

Slide 2: Titled "Stages of losing contact with the core self"

There is a 5-point zig zag graph with the following stages

Early Relational trauma: Needs are ignored, punished, or shamed. Authentic expression feels pointless or even dangerous.

Rejections accumulate: As authentic attempts to meet needs fail, the rejections begin to wall off access to core self Masks form: Person survives by experimenting with various masks as reactions to volatile or unresponsive people. Core self is further distanced: Masks shield Core Self from abuse, scorn, & neglect, but the person becomes a mirror of others

Codependency: Only the reactive masks have access to others, so a person's existence is defined by the behavior, moods, & acceptance of others.

Slide 3: Titled "Formation of Identity Masks"

An animated character with rainbow coloured hair peeks over a brick wall, each brick containing different words and symbols, while some bricks remain empty. Text above the character reads: "Identity masks are worn to shape the behavior of others. Even if an identity is true to the Core Self, masks make a person seem more or less:

[Words and symbols in bricks]

Popular, amused emojil, fun, smart, heart eyes emoji, educated, disabled, oppressed, dedicated, social, sad emoji, neuroclastic, angry, magical, religious, fashionable, heart icon, normal, stable, mature, political, angry symbol, responsible, smirking emoji, rich, independent, sad emoji, fit, brave, seductive, masculine, heartbreak icon, qualified, vulnerable, skilled.

Slide 4: Titled "Disconnection from our Core Self"

Text below reads: Eventually, we lose contact with our Core Self so that no identity feels real. Identities become more like outfits to put on & wear in different settings the same way we change clothes.

Different bubbles each read:

We mask as someone new in every situation & context

Who we are in the moment depends on the moods & behaviors of people around us

We do not realize that others are not also wearing identities as clothing

We have learned that boundaries get us in trouble, so we don't set them

We are then shocked & feel rejected when others set boundaries

We think people who know themselves are performing and boundaries are rude

Slide 5: Titled "Identities as masks are Identity Cages"

A circle has various bullets emanating from it, each occupying its own oval.

Text within circle reads: RSD is a disconnect from your Core

Self & identity

Bullets are numbered below:

We think our masks are identities, so rejection of masks feels like loss of self

We shop for & borrow other people's identities like they are others flattering clothes

We have perfectionism & are hypercritical of ourselves & others

Because masks are fragile like clothing, mistakes feel like a torn or ruined self

Relationships feel fleeting & fall into toxic patterns of codependency

Slide 6: Titled "Markers of Codependency"

Different shapes with similarly shaped wiggly lines arranged in a 2x3 arrangement, outline different markers of codependency, as follows:

Obsessive about others' and & own behavior Sees, own & others' worth as conditional

Tries hard to be needed & to fix others because love feels like a reward for good behavior

Falls in love quickly, but also can immediately hate someone others to feel worthy

Feels empathetic because identity masks rely on others' emotions for minor offenses

Needs a lot of reassurance, attention, & validation from others to feel worthy

Slide 7: Titled "relationships and Codependency"

4 rectangles, each with different representative graphics and unique titles, leading to the one after them.

The first is titled "Dangerous Relationships" with a one character confidently speaking to/advising a seemingly downcast character.

Text reads: Often exploited by people who see them as an easy target because they are afraid to set boundaries or say "no"

The second is titled "Martyrdom and Resentment" with an uncertain looking character holding an unbalanced balance scale.

Text reads: Taking a passive role of servitude & giving too much, then feeling like a martyr when others do not reciprocate

The third is titled "Other-directed life" with a signpost, one sign reading @NeuroClastic while the other remains blank.

Text reads: Goals, feelings, & desires are responses to others & not reflections of own identity or needs

The fourth is titled "Chaos & Drama" with one character with their finger up, walking away from a confused looking character.

Text reads: Criticizes & blames self or others for minor problems, harshly judges self & others, & manipulates to make self the victim

Slide 8: Titled "Reconnecting To The Core Self"

A circle is divided in quadrants, each describing ways to reconnect with one's Core Self.

The first quadrant is titled: Locating the Core Self The Core Self is not lost, just disconnected. It is the internal voice asking, "Who am I?" and the source of grief beneath the masks. Try to focus on that voice and connecting with your Core Self..

The second quadrant is titled: Dropping the Masks Identity is the whole tree - the roots, trunk, leaves, and fruit. Masks are the parasitic vines of unhealthy relationships and trauma. Begin to remove the vines one at a time when it's safe to do so.

The third quadrant is titled: Losing Value Judgements Dissociating from the Core Self means a person sees the behavior as identity, then strives to be perfect and push others to never make mistakes. You are not your behavior.

The fourth quadrant is titled: Learn to Set Boundaries Boundaries are more effective than masks at protecting the Core Self and prevent you from focusing externally to depend on others to meet your needs and maintain your autonomy.

Slide 9: Various stone shapes containing text are linked by a curving line. The topmost stone reads: Claiming Your Identity

Other stones follow, respectively reading:

No one tells you who you are. You tell them who you are. Who you are does not depend on others.

Know that you do not have to accept harm for the comfort of others.

Ask yourself, "Am I doing this because I want to do it, or because I am afraid of rejection?"

Take small risks, gradually, that allow you to be who you are & build the courage to be disliked.

Work on discovering your Core Self without an audience until you know what you love & who you are.

Slide 10: A comparison between Co-dependence and Interdependence.

The co-dependence pointers remain on a black background, whereas the inter-dependence pointers are enclosed in pencil shaped boxes, which in turn are placed against a rainbow coloured background.

The co-dependence pointers read:

I never develop my own passions or refine my skills because I am living for others

I am jealous & resentful of other people's joy, success, & material possessions

I do not make decisions without people-pleasing & say "yes" when I want to say "no"

I cannot make mistakes because other people will reject, hurt, & abandon me

I become like the people around me & agree with them to fit in & avoid conflict

I manage relationships by controlling or submitting, giving too much or taking too much

The inter-dependence pointers read:

I take the time I need to discover my passions & develop my skills to be fulfilling to me

I do not need to win or be cenetred in order to find value in experiences

I set boundaries & decline to participate if something feels wrong to me

Mistakes are a healthy part of growth & an opportunity to learn & evolve

I do not lose my values or reduce myself to be accepted & don't need others to approve

I give & receive in mutual ways that benefit both me & the people in my life

End ID]

Further Reading from Neuroclastic:

NeuroClastic

On Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, Codependency, & Identity: How to get out from behind the masks

Being forced to mask as a matter of existence pushes people into codependency and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and causes them a life

#piss on

Piss

The autistic feel of never asserting boundaries, not because you don’t understand that you deserve to have your boundaries respected, but because the social script of asserting boundaries while making sure that the other person doesn’t feel attacked is one that you never got the knack of delivering, so your only two options are “doormat” or “bitchy and difficult”

PSA about the Mob Vote‼️

The Minecraft mob vote is happening on October FOURTEENTH! The day BEFORE Minecraft Live!

It starts at 12:00 PM EDT on Oct 14th, and lasts 24 hours. It ends when Minecraft Live begins! The WINNER will be announced during Minecraft Live!

This is different to what they did in previous years. Please keep this in mind when you vote for the Sniffer this year!

Please reblog this if you're doing the mob vote! Unless you're voting Tuff Golem

Powerpuff Girls was actually a show about a group of small children crushing the patriarchy and no one will convince me otherwise

Honestly, to any fellow neurodivergents that struggle with doing tasks: have you tried doing the task intentionally badly?

I'm serious. I always used to struggle with getting schoolwork done on time. Then one day, out of a place of spite, I tried to write the shittiest assignment the teacher ever damn graded. (It was a stupid assignment.) Got fed up with the bit halfway through and began writing the assignment in earnest. This has helped me start shit halfway since.

Even if it doesn't work like that for other people, half-assed is better than not finished. Half ass cleaning? Guess what, the space is still cleaner.

If you are reading this, I encourage you to try that thing you are procrastinating on or struggling with using the minimum effort possible.

Let's see... What do I win?

Hi everyone,

I found some more information on ADHD. I hope you all find this helpful. I’ll leave the link to the post.

ADHD Awareness Month

I believe it's not misunderstood,

It's just they don't expect anyone to follow them,

To what I say,

Don't worry, reblog whatever you feel like, you could be the source of a nice surprise for someone further down the line (of time or otherwise)

Alright this is rly sad but here goes. I started doing my once-in-awhile bot purge from my followers list. And. I used to be able to just quickly scan and see the bots. They were the ones with default icons and generator-sounding names like "noun-girl-827". And if you weren't sure, you could click on the blog and it would be immediately obvious it was a bot because there's either just bad porn click bait, or nothing there.

Well. This time I had to give up immediately because I got like ten followers down the list and was having immense trouble figuring out who's a bot and who's real. Never ever used to see this but like 5/10 of the first few followers I checked on had just totally empty blogs. It wasn't until I'd already blocked 2 - assuming bots bc empty blogs - that I thought to check if they had any likes. And bam! There it was. All of their user activity.

We have people on this website now who have never reblogged a single post.

Y'all, I'm sure you're sick of seeing "you have to reblog thing" but you literally have to reblog things. That is how this website works. You understand that, right? How do you think the post you hit "like" on got in front of you? It wasn't because you liked enough things and Tumblrs algorithm figured out what you like enough to hand it to you. It's because you followed someone, a human person, who reblogged that post. And it came from another person who also reblogged it.

You are killing this website by refusing to interact with it in the way that makes it better than the other websites you ran from to come here.

Anyway, I'm sure you're all nice people, but I'm not going to play the "bot or not" game if you have an empty blog I'm going to block you.

This hits so incredibly hard, thanks OP for the perspective

U ever just feel like u can't fall asleep until some magical unknown requirement is fulfilled so u just end up doom scrolling for hours trying to figure out what it is?

Fun little thought experiment. What would be the worst superpower to have with X disability?