Latest Posts by hadrianthomas - Page 7

Why though

hey, how do i cancel my trauma subscription? i was non-consentually added the the mailing list and keep getting spam, im pretty tired of it.

“If you live to be a 100, I want to live to be a  100 minus one day so I never have to live without you.”

‘recruited’

042020

I just need to forget. ..

When people suddenly put their hand towards my face,

Like???

Are you gonna hit me? Fix my hair??? Take off a fallen eyelash?

Who knows, but am i going to get scared? Definitely. Cry? Perhaps.

do you ever just want to shout like… it’s because i’m sad! like yes i didn’t do my homework, yes i didn’t text you back, yes i’ve been hiding in my room! i know and i’m sorry! but i haven’t killed myself so honestly where is my badge!

call me angel bc i should be dead

I fucking hate when people say “they didnt mean to hurt you, they love you” like shut up!!!!! how would you even know!!! and I dont care if they do, they fucking destroyed me!!! this isn’t love!!!!

You know what's not fucking fair? The fact that I don't even get to remember my own fucking childhood

fun fact: trauma victims becoming obsessed/infatuated with what traumatized them (especially if that trauma came from abuse) isn’t creepy or disturbing. That’s literally a symptom of PTSD, and is often uncontrollable, so maybe don’t demonize people who get stuck or overly focused on their intrusive thoughts. We literally can’t control this.

you took it from me

Mom: you not putting away the laundry I did is a personal attack. You don’t care about how much I put into doing that laundry

Me, who was just fucking tired: yeah totally I did it just to spite you specifically

the difference between medicine and poison is in the dose // circa survive

hey fellow trauma blogs, usually I don’t directly reach out like this, but something has been on my mind recently and I wanna know if other people experience this.

do you ever... forget that you’re traumatized? I mean yeah it’s hard to forget the event that traumatized you, I know, but do you forget what you experienced ISNT normal? or maybe not even that, you forget that certain event affected you really badly, and when you notice your strange habits or behavior you link it back to that event and remember “oh yeah! it’s because that traumatized me”. do you ever have moment of thinking you’re normal suddenly come crashing down when you remember how badly you were once victimized?

these are things I experience often, and I feel it could put my heart at ease to know others feel like this. it may even help them a little to know that while it’s upsetting it’s happening to them, they aren’t alone in their experience with trauma.

most of the time when I say I can’t remember something, it’s not always that I’m trying to avoid talking about it- I just literally cannot remember. I have no idea how to remember or what to do. sometimes I try to fill the gaps with vague memories- or even small white lies just to get by- and maybe put faith in a life I will probably never remember.

everyone else had a chance to enjoy being 17

everyone around me had a chance to enjoy life

so what did i do wrong?