HAPPY SAINT PATRICKS DAY BITCHES

Jackie: name a way to be nice to someone

Anti: hesitate to kill them.

Jackie:...

Jackie: setting the bar pretty low, but okay

Henrik: what are you two doing riding around in a grocery cart?

Marvin: us two? Don’t you mean-oh god

Marvin and JBM in unison: JAMESON FELL OFF!!

It sucks when you can’t find stuff. HELP THIS PERSON OUT!!!

A lot of you are probably wondering, “Why do you want those six magazines so badly?” Well, here’s why.

It all started the night of June 4, 2019. I was browsing eBay when I found a very special lot of six Official’s Logic Problems magazines. It didn’t say which issues they were; all it said was that they ranged from 2000 to 2004. Here they were:

(Image description: Six issues of the puzzle magazine Official’s Logic Problems, in a slightly fanned-out stack. From top to bottom, the magazines are green, yellow, red, pink, purple, and yellow-orange.)

For those of you who don’t know (most of you probably don’t), Official’s Logic Problems is a long-gone puzzle magazine. The puzzles in it had such a nerdy, artsy style. (Check out the “official’s logic problems” tag on my blog for examples.) This title had its last issue circa 2005-2006. These are harder to find than hens’ teeth, and these mean a lot to me.

Fast-forward to the next day. My aunt (a licensed cosmetologist) was coming over to give me a haircut. I was sitting in the chair, getting my hair chopped off, when I clicked the link I’d sent Mom and discovered that “This item is no longer available.”

Someone had probably beat us to them.

I had a meltdown. I bit myself. I couldn’t stop crying. This was the chance of a lifetime, and it got snuffed out.

After the haircut, Mom called my brother to see if he’d bought them for me. (He had an eBay account; Mom didn’t. We didn’t know that you could buy things from there without an account.)

He hadn’t. Someone had indeed beat us to those six Official’s Logic Problems magazines.

More meltdown. I felt so helpless. I couldn’t stop talking about the “Big Six”, as I had dubbed them, for months.

Today (May 1, 2020), it’s been ten months. I still need those magazines. I still hate myself for not putting my foot down and asking my brother to buy them sooner. I still worry that whoever bought them has thrown them away or recycled them. (I hold no grudge against whoever bought them; I just would love to have my own copies.)

And that’s why I’ve been asking people to reblog the picture of the Big Six.

So please, do your part. Let my story be heard. Reblog the posts I’ve made about the Big Six (this one included). Someone out there has got to have a grandparent or aunt or uncle or teacher or someone who has at least one.

You don’t have to keep the picture and story to Tumblr. Post it anywhere. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, I don’t care. I just want the picture to be seen and the story to be heard.

Thank you.

Henrik: Yesterday I overheard Chase saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Anti replying “Trust me.” and I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

Jameson: chase, there’s an online trend I have a few questions about.

Chase: sure, what is it?

Jameson: it’s about losing a ‘game’? What does it mean?

Chase: GOD DAMMIT, I JUST LOST THE GAME

*chorus of groans through the ego household*

Jackie: guys i impulsively bought a snake what should I name him?

Henrik: you did WHAT-

Anti: William Snakespere

Okay—so I was baking using my Alexa, and this happened. It says on one side to use baking powder, and on the other side it says use soda. I used soda, and they turned out like a normal chocolate chip cookie

Anti: ILL SEE YOU IN HELL

Jackie, smacking him with a broom: TELL THEM WHO SENT YOU

I love my dog

She sleep

Marvin: i don’t sweat

Henrik: everyone sweats?

Jackie: not Marv. He never sweats

Henrik: what do you mean “he never sweats?”

Marvin: sweating is gross. So I don’t do it.